I need some help. What would you think of a guy who shut-out the entire world for six years because his life came to a screeching halt. I mean his world and beliefs and moral convictions were all destroyed/overturned in one day which pretty much left him devastated financially, emotionally, and physically. Through no fault of his own this happened. I mean at one time he thought about legitimately running for Congress, now he works as a landscaper. How would you feel toward this individual if he wanted to start dating again and asked you? By the way, he is unlike any guy you will ever meet. Trust me you would think he was perfect if it weren't for his past. Would you have him fess-up everything at once or little by little?
2007-02-28 01:34:46 · 11 answers · asked by Experimental876 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
All at once... get it done and over with so you can work on the rest and talk through everything. Why continue to have bombshells dropped over the course of time, it's better to face it all head on and will make things a lot easier to cope and deal with so you can work on moving past all of it and concentrate on a relationship if you feel there's a chance. Best of luck.
2007-02-28 01:41:24 · answer #1 · answered by happyblonde 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is my belief that women like honest, responsible and confident men (at least that is what lead me to my husband, I also consider him funny). The important thing is who you are now. Be honest first and fore most to yourself, love yourself and then you can be honest about loving another (if you are not at this point yet on your recovery, then you might consider attending some professional help before taking this very large and stressful step of beginning to date). As to whether your past will be a problem? It might, depending on what kind of woman you are searching for (or are attracted to), I would say little by little can be best, because when entering a new relationship it is a step by step (sometimes baby steps) kinda foundation. You have to go there at some point but if you have given her time to get to know you well enough, by the time she knows everything about you, she won't care about who you were but who you are. Everybody has emotional baggage and the secret is to learn how to manage it. Remember, be yourself, be honest, respectful and loving. Congratulations on getting your life back and good luck on pursuing your new life.
2007-02-28 09:57:03 · answer #2 · answered by windtwirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you're still working through the issue and you've not resolved it yourself. once you have no problem and no shame about it, the ladies won't either. until then they'll smell it on you without even knowing what it is.
To be honest, I can't imagine anything being so horrible as you've described, truly. Life happens. And it obviously goes on as you're still here, so why are you still so hung up about it.
2007-02-28 09:48:59 · answer #3 · answered by arjo_reich 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone has their own preferences...so everyone will have different anwers.... Buuut, I think its dumb that 'some guy' let something some in between his beliefs and morals...thats not right! No one should let anyone come in between the way they want to live their liife! You must love yourself and know what you want before you want to love someone else! Good luck...
2007-02-28 09:39:46 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What does that have to do with your relationship with him? You said yourself it's in the past, are you dating him because of his past or because you like whom you met...the present guy? Furthermore, I think if he was able to shut out the world for that long he has good discipline.
2007-02-28 09:38:43 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The woman should get to know who the person IS today. We all change for whatever reasons from our past. That's called growth. Then instead of hiding his past, little by little, he should begin to share.
2007-02-28 09:38:31 · answer #6 · answered by Jewel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he needs to seek professional help. No normal human being can shut out the world for 6yrs... if he'd asked for therapy after it happened he wouldnt have lost 6yrs of his life.
If he asked me out, I'd probably will but not again if he's still having issues with his past.
2007-02-28 09:40:24 · answer #7 · answered by TOTALLY CONFUSED 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
some girls would have it all at once.
some would have you tell them slowly.
id prefer a time when you were ready.
it's your dam past after all.
as long as your secure and unwilling to hide from your past, any girl would love to have you.
dont try and hide the past either, it happened and you have to acknowledge that.
good luck!
2007-02-28 09:40:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
little by little due to the past but in reality i think it is you who went through that and due to the past and could be an unstable future i wouldnt date him at all
2007-02-28 09:39:37 · answer #9 · answered by Cowgirl 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
be careful is all i can say
2007-02-28 09:39:03 · answer #10 · answered by levonna b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋