I'm a college student. Normally I stay on campus, but I took a trip up north to my parent's house this past weekend. My girlfriend didn't mention anything unusual when I got back.
I just borrowed her cell phone for the morning to call my apartment, and I saw she has a message from her ex boyfriend. Apparently they went out for dinner this past weekend.
I went to her work and asked her why she didn't tell me, and she said it's because she "knows I'll get upset". I'm a really calm guy and if I get upset, it's because she will do stuff like this (but for me, upset just means sad... not angry or anything).
Is it time to get out or am I overreacting? I just think it's annoying if nothing else
2007-02-28 01:29:48 · 24 answers · asked by fdsafd s 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
She also stated "well maybe then you shouldn't go away for so long".
I was only gone two days lol
2007-02-28 01:30:44 · update #1
I am not in a relationship right now, but I would be careful. It sounds as though it was just an innocent dinner and you have to also ask yourself would she be upset if you had dinner with an ex-girlfriend and did not tell her.
If I was you I would definitely pay more attention to her attitude and what she says. The point of her saying that you should not go away for so long would make me question things.
2007-02-28 01:37:08 · answer #1 · answered by Important 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She obviously still has feelings for her ex and she is flip flopping between him and you. Don't turn this into a competition or get mad. If you really like this girl just focus on you and her and forget about the loser ex. If she likes you the same then she will get over him in time. The worst thing you can do is get into a tug of war match with her ex over her because that will do two things. #1 that will cause her to get excited because she will get all this extra attention from 2 guys and will inflate her ego and
#2 it keeps the loser ex in the picture and makes you even more frustrated. Just work on you and her and the ex will fade away with time. Good luck!
2007-02-28 01:35:44 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You didn't mention how long you have been together or how serious the relationship is. Your girlfriend is wrong for going out with her ex boyfriend - if there was nothing going on there would have been no reason for her to not tell you about it. Dont let her make you feel like you are overreacting, you have every right to be annoyed. Good luck
2007-02-28 01:35:11 · answer #3 · answered by shez 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How could you have only been gone 2 days? You said you normally stay on campus. Normally implies that your usually gone a lot. How much does this relationship mean to you? How often do the 2 of you communicate? I mean from your post it sounds like you have very little to do with her life usually. Has it already ended it for you and just aren't letting her know? You might be tring to push her away when your at school. Besides relationships normally end when they become long distance. You already know what you want to do, now your just looking for the board to reinforce your decision.
2007-02-28 01:44:46 · answer #4 · answered by land-pliskin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is not a goos thing! She talks to her ex when your gone?! Why?? And then hides it from you?? Not much trust there.... doesnt sound normal from my perspective as a person outside of the realtionship! There is no reason for her to be talking to her ex...how long has that been goin on?? You may never know.... but do whatever makes you happy. Even if it means getting out and starting fresh, so you can actually trust the girl you are with, especially if you have to go away for a weekend or something. Its b.s. I would not take that crap!!
2007-02-28 01:36:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well your girlfriend should understand that your in college, and can't be see her as much as you would like. If she feels that she can't deal with the distance then she needs to tell you now so you can get out of this relationship. If nothing happened between her and her ex then she would have told you about it, and she wouldn't have even had to say "maybe you should be around more often". That right there shows that she can't handle the distance, and is blaminig her dishonesty on you. This is not a good sign. I would get out now.
2007-02-28 01:37:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I certainly think that you should be alarmed. I feel that it's never ok to have lunch or any kind date with an ex without talking it over with your current mate or spouse. If she really felt that you trusted her and that she had nothing to hide, she would have mentioned this.
Furthermore, women are creatures who crave attention from their mates or spouse. We like to told that we're beautiful, smart, amazing, etc. We need to know that we are loved and appreciated. We are emotional creatures. And if we aren't being satisfied emotionally we do have the habit of going to an alternative source. I think that the two of you need to have a serious talk.
Lay down some ground rules what each of feel is ok and what is not ok to do in a relationship. Try to find out if she feels like you're giving her enough emotional support. Nobody likes to be in a relationship with a ghost.
2007-02-28 01:39:49 · answer #7 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, this is a hard one. If she is still friends with him, it could have been just a simple dinner with a friend. But, I would say, she's probably cheating on you based on the fact that she kept it a secret and then said that you shouldn't go away for so long. If she hasn't cheated yet, I would say it's bound to happen if she's going out with other men. But, I would definetly get some hard proof before I would get to excited!
2007-02-28 01:37:16 · answer #8 · answered by daysie78 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she might be but then again they could be just friends. Before u go jumping to conclusions maybe u need to have more proof. B/c there might not be anything going on but at the same time don't blow if off. Find out what all happend after the dinner and decide then if u want to stay or leave.
2007-02-28 01:34:24 · answer #9 · answered by biggest_duke_fan_ever@yahoo.com 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She gave you a bitc$ answer. She is insecure and sounds like she needs you 24/7, which is not fair. She seems like the type that needs constant attention and is a little selfish. You need to confront her about this pronto, because it will happen again. If you hadn't borrowed her cell phone you would have never known and she would have never told you until she got caught. Make yourself unavailable to show her you mean business.
Confront her, communicate,communicate,communicate.
Besides, most women want men to tell them what to do :).
2007-02-28 01:36:00 · answer #10 · answered by Lovely 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋