Am I right in hating my parents?

Question

I'm 24, graduated in Chemistry, have a job, taking a post-graduation course. My life is good, I'm considered a good person and actually I do my best to be so. I have a good heart, but I almost hate my parents. When I was a teen, I messed up, was spoiled, disrespectful, made some mistakes. They were too harsh on me, I got harsh punishmentsm was spanked several times at 15 and 16 and they even sent me to a borad school. So, they like kicked me out, proved they didn't love me and didn't deserve to be called parents. I agree I messed up, but there were major issues, it was tehir fault too, and it was their duty to keep loving me. They could abd should correct me, but not like they did. I finally grew up, was a briilliant student in college and my life changed completely. Today my parents say they're are proud of me and I'm a great young adult. But they didn't do anything for me to achieve this, they only punished and rejected me. They want my love back, but all I can give them is hatred

Lat week I agreed to talk with them, but it only made things worse. All I could do was throw my anger, frustration and ressentment ate their faces. Theu got kinda hurt

Answer 1

If you're right for hating your parents then they'd be right in hating you, too. You stated that you messed up, were spoiled, disrespectful, and made mistakes. If they sent you to a boarding school, you really didn't get kicked out. I'm sure that they kept loving you when they did certain things that you didn't agree with - it's called "tough love". If you can't find it in your heart to be open with them enough to begin a relationship, then you've still got major issues that need to be worked out.

Answer 2

Girl, I would think about getting some counseling regarding this anger you have. Its certainly understandable to have all the feelings your are having. You felt abandoned in many ways. Those feelings are real. But, your parents are human and they love you. I dont know what you did as a teen, but obviously you scared the living begeebies out of them. They were afraid for you and wanted the right thing for you. What they choose for you may or may not have been the best, but they did it for you. Obviously you didnt like what they did, being sent away surely didnt feel good. Maybe if you got some counseling you can see it from other sides of the fence and then realize that holding onto anger and punishing them is only hurting you more. Learn to forgive. Forgiving is NOT forgetting. You dont have to be touchy feeling gooshy gooshy with them, just have a bit of communication with them. You sound like a very intelligent, ambitious and successful person..so they did do something right. Maybe you had the strength to over come a lot of things...but you got the strength somewhere, maybe a bit from them?? Good luck and take care.

Answer 3

Wow. First of all, hate is a powerful word. As a parent, I know that you would not be the person you are today without their love and direction. Of course, they made mistakes and so did you. They put you in boarding school to challenge you and structure you because they could not handle it themselves. That is not rejection. They were only trying to help you because believe it or not, most times others who are not related to you can get more out of you intellectually, personally, and physically than your own parents. I know. You need to forget all this resentment and move on. The past is just that the past. If you can't, you might need professional help to deal with it. Your parents may not be here tomorrow to hate.

Answer 4

i dont think i can answear your question because i havent lived what you have. but here is my opinion. being a parent does not mean u love your child. most of them do love them but there are a number or parents that are this sort of people that have children to prove something to themselves. this means they expect too many things from their children. things that they wanted to have done but couldnt, and therefore take great joy seeing their child achieving them. but this does not mean that they are happy because their child is happy or because their child achieved something as a persson. they are happy beca use they achieved something themselves throught their child.
So, when for example u messed up during some part of your life, they felt great dissapointment and they felt let down. they gave up on you because they thought it was not worth it trying to improve you. Today they are proud of you but what they are actually saying is that they are proud of themselves. i believe that your parents are this sort of parents that only want from u to make them feel proud and sucessfull and achieved. they dont tend to think about your feeling or your emotions. Someday i think they will understand their mistake by themselves. however u could help them understand it now. Your parents do love u deep inside, and u love them too. i am sure of that. u have to stop hating yourself and them.

Answer 5

Being a parent, does not come with instructions. For you own sanity sake, you have to forgive them, and then and only then will you be able to move on with your life. Take them out to dinner, and tell them that you had a lot of resentment about them, and that you are working on it. Now if you can not pass this, then you may have to see a counselor. FORGIVENESS, is peace or mind, body and soul! so work on your self!

Answer 6

You say they didnt do anything to help you achieve this? Who fed you, housed you, and generally took care of you when you were a child. You dont say but did they pay for your education? It still sounds like you have some more growing up to do.

Answer 7

Sending you to a boarding school is not kicking you out and it’s not proving that they don’t love you. Got anything else? Because right now you’re sounding like an ungrateful brat. Counseling might help. Then again, it might not. Just my opinion.

Answer 8

It sounds like what they did caused you to turn your life around. Try to gice things a chance to develop and understand that what they did was very hard for them to do and thay had your best interests at heart.

Answer 9

why u hate them without them without u also in this world , b4 u cant fly, now u have a strong wings so u become like eagle , years will come we dont know, ur parents will go for rest , so rite now show to them a love of a child , pls love them b4 its too late