How do I tell my boyfriend he is fat without hurting his feelings?

Question

I know this is insensitive, i too have gained weight since we moved house. But i noticed and have started taknig actiosn, with diet and walking.
When i ask him to join me for a walk, he states ' why its not as if we have to walk anywhere' He is only 24! he works an office job part time, adn a bar job part time. otherwise drives everywhere as we live in the countryside!

any sneaking meals i could give him, or ideas?

Answer 1

It is a good question. and the answer is that you cannot. You will hurt his feelings.

Answer 2

Cut out all fats,sugary foods and alcohol. That should get him on the right track. I live in the country and although I do use the car as one needs to I also cycle to shops 2 miles away and sometimes walk to them and carry home the purchases. When I am not doing anything special I go for a walk in the countryside and aim at a minimum of 4 miles. The only way to get him to walk with you is to act, as women can so well, all petulant that you are going on your own and hope that you don't get attacked or run over etc. You prepare slimming meals for yourself and serve them to him as well. Have no extras in the house such as beer and biscuits so that he cannot nibble the evening away. Change to skimmed or semi-skimmed milk.
No butter on toast with marmalade or jam. In fact no butter. By a low fat spread. There are loads of things you can do but you must be with him all the way. Finally say that if he has a heart attack or stroke, which can and does happen even to young men, you will perhaps have to live your life without him and that it is something you could not bear.

Answer 3

I was over weight when I was with my ex, and one vacation we went to San Francisco walking around the city I got so tried fast, that was the first sign. The second sign was when I saw the picture from that trip and thinking boy she is as beautiful as the day I meet her, but look at me how can she love me I must have put on 65 lbs, Sign three I saw myself in a mirror, that’s was the last sign I needed to lose the weight. I had a lot on my mind from how to handle my business, money going out but not coming in as fast, we need to find a new apartment and everything life had to throw at us, same people handle hard time in there on way.

Try planning events where you both need to walk at go the park beach walks in the woods, cooking smaller meals, drinking more water and teas, more sex and yes I had to go there if he feel he not lasting long like he use to that might get the wheels turning he’s out of shape, your not do a bad thing, your just trying to get him to see it with out hurting he’s feeling. That’s what love is all about, being there, understand helping.

Good luck thing will work out I the end, and they both lived happier and heartier ever after.

PS. I lost 75 lbs

Answer 4

There is no easier way to tell someone about their weight. Instead of just telling him that he’s overweight change what you eat and how it’s prepared. You can change the diet for the both of you without really letting on to him that you’ve done so. My boyfriend is well overweight and he was just diagnosed with diabetes because of his extra weight and family history. Because you don’t know what he’s eating when he’s not with you, you have to control what he does have when he is. I changed the amount of carbs that I make for him to have for the day. I even found low carb bread for him to have sandwiches. Try and get him to drink more water and eat more fruits and veggies. I didn’t think I’d be able to get him to eat the wheat pasta but he actually enjoys it. Don’t make it out to be just about him and his weight, you do it as well. Instead of feeding him until he’s full feed him until he’s no longer feeling hungry. Another suggestion, when you give him smaller portions of food, give him a salad with it using low fat or fat free dressing. If you make your own dressing it’s a lot better. Get the packets and make your own. Watch the carbs, sugars and fats when you buy your food. Trust me it works, my boyfriend lost 25 pounds in 5 weeks. Yes some of that was water weight but it’s a start and he feels a lot better. People tell him all the time, he’s looking a lot better since he’s started dropping pounds. Don’t tell him he’s fat or overweight you take the stand and change his eating habits for him. Another suggestion is instead of him eating 3 big meals have him eat 3 small meals and 3 snacks. My boyfriend has really gotten use to his new eating plan of the 3 meals and 3 snacks. If you boyfriend doesn’t like plain water, have him put fresh lemon in it or buy flavored waters that don’t have the carbs in them. I wish you luck with your task, trust me it wasn’t easy for me but I kept at my boyfriend because I cared enough to see him well.

Answer 5

We can't change people, but we can influence them by our actions. Start dieting on your own and once he notices how well your doing, he start to comply. This works everytime. Or you can take the verbal approach and tell him without being judgemental that he's gaining weight and you want to see him healthy. Sometimes you have to hurt in order to help. You're only hurting his feelings for the sake of his temple which is a good thing. If you don't tell him, your not only hurting him. Your hurting yourself from keeping the truth within and displaying false love.

Answer 6

How about joining a gym or going swimming together? Romantic long walks to the pub at the weekend? Otherwise change what you buy - buy more fruit and veg and change pasta and rice from white to brown. Use diet salad dressings and serve salad with most meals...

Answer 7

You can't force somebody to lose weight if they don't want to. Say maybe you make dietary changes - he might decide he can eat more because he's losing weight.

If he doesn't care about his health or appearance, or how you feel about those things, then be glad you found this out about him at 24 instead of 34 (or 44) and you've got a bunch of screaming kids running around your house and a hubby who won't get out of the La-Z-Boy recliner for anything except dinner (and maybe sex)!

Answer 8

Tell him you BOTH could use some exercise; that way you have not singled him out.

Make him come on walks with you. Prepare meals that are healthier...but just be prepared; food at the bar will be there for him and we both know how "healthy" it is.

Involve him in the physical aspect of it all. If he still ignores you, tell him you love him but you think he's getting too fat. For some people, it is the only way.

Answer 9

Well since you have gained weight too start working on yourself instead of trying to change him. In turn be the example and not the enforcer. When he notices you working out and sees you becoming fit, I guarantee you it will motivate him into wanting to lose weight. But to try to get him to lose weight while you've gained is wrong. You can also change your meal plan and start bringing in more healthy foods to snack on. good luck!

Answer 10

I'm sure he knows already that he's gained weight. It's no good telling someone they're fat and trying to push them into losing weight, each person needs their own motivation to do something about it for themselves. You'll hurt his feelings and maybe make him stubborn about it - after all, why should he be bullied into losing weight because you want him to? I'm sure you love him no matter what size he is, so leave him to decide for himself that he wants to lose weight.

Answer 11

Why not introduce a more healthy diet for you both, that way you will lose weight together.
Eat more fresh fruit and veg. Go out for walks in the country, or get a pair of bikes.