When should I contact me ex after no contact?

Question

My ex of 8 mths broke up with me 1 mth ago. We reached a situation where that was probably for the best because she was adamant her unhapiness over the previous 1 mth was caused by our relationship. That coincided with her suffering from depression which I thought was causing her to be negative about us. She refused to accept this.

I decided to give her some space and haven't contacted her for 3 & a half weeks. We last spoke 2 days after the break up. She said that "it would be nice to see me when I'm ready" and we agreed to meet after a couple of weeks. I haven't contacted her & she hasn't contacted me.

I have been clear for a few weeks that I want to try & get her back. That is why I decided on no contact, to give her space. I am not sure when to contact her!?

I want to try & get her back but know if I push too much she will pull away.

I am thinking 3 or 4 meet ups over the next month where we just do stuff, no pressure, and seeing how things are??

Any thoughts people?

I am pretty sure being depressed played a part in her decision. At the time she mentioned she was unsure about us I said I though she was depressed. She went to her dr who said she was depressed and gave her meds and referred her for counselling. She has a history of it.

1 week later she declared she wasn't depressed and was going to go back to the dr to take it back. She said it was our relationship causing her to be down.

On the one hand, if it is as simple as her just being fed up with me then I don't see the point trying to get back with her, i'll move on.

On the other, if she is being irrational/negative about us because she is depressed then I think I would like to find out if there is a chance, perhaps only if she eventually admits this is a problem and it needs to be sorted.

I think it is the second one. It is weird to break up with someone when you tell them you love them and the same evening as mentioning doubts talk about plans for the future!

What do I do!!??

Answer 1

i dont know seperated 7 years havent spoken since lol,time flys so u better do it soon

Answer 2

Well, you're jumping the gun a bit here.

Why not get the first meeting under your belt before you start planning her social calendar. The depression part...she may have refused to accept your diagnosis, as you're not trained in the field.

I couldn't commend you more for giving her space; so many people give it a week and then spend the next 5 days leaving messages, texts, emails, etc. and just blow it. Contact her when you know you have free time, but just make the one "date". Tell her your feelings and that you would like to take it slowly. Then tell her that you will leave things to her if she would like to meet again, give it another chance, etc.

That way, you have let her decide what she is comfortable with and also let her know that you understand how she is feeling.

Chicks dig that.

Good luck, young grasshopper.

Answer 3

Like maximum human beings in this talk board, I surely have contacts from around the realm. i'll superstar a question that i think my contacts might have an interest in answering. a number of situations during the direction of the day, i'll eliminate the superstar and replace it after some moments so as that my contacts that have in basic terms come on line have the alternative if answering the question. yet I consistently bypass away the superstar there on the tip. :))

Answer 4

Why don't you call her, ask if she has worked through her issues and is willing to give things a fresh start. If she says no, wish her well and consider it over. Don't beg or grovel - prepare yourself to move on. You should stop planning how to get her back - she either wants to be with you or not. Do not allow her to string you along with a bunch a drama/problems - nicely let her know what you are willing to accepts - either a fresh start or adios. Keep the phone conversation as brief and upbeat as possible. If she isn't 100% for the fresh start, don't attempt to see her and don't agree to a "sit-down" with her unless things are positive.
Good luck.

Answer 5

Dude, you need to move on. There is a reason why these people are known as an "ex". You broke up for a reason, she's not into you, so move on with your life. 8 months isn't all that long, that is right around the time when people decide whether they want to be bothered or not. Obviously she doesn't want to be bothered. Take the hint.

Answer 6

Just gotta keep it simple, bro... When you contact her, don't talk about any interest in an intimate relationship. Be friends. Enjoy being around each other. Just have fun. Call her, ask how she is, what has been going on in her life, etc. Feel her out before you start to make any kind of move....

Answer 7

If she had depression and dumped it on the relationship, it will happen again and again. It is up to you, if you like her, just keep it simple. Pick up the phone and call and ask her if she is ready, do not beat around the bush. If she says yes, then that is great, if she is not ready.....you will know from her voice and her reaction.

Good luck guy.

Answer 8

Is she getting help with the depression?

Do you think you're ready to see her?

Are you ready for her to just want to be friends?

If you can answer 'yes' to the questions then go ahead and meet up as friends with no pressure.

Good luck

Answer 9

yo when u find out let me know cuz I miss my ex too and at least want to be friends with her in the future if possible. but just try to focus on you in the meantime like i've been doin...i got a new job, got in better shape, etc... sometimes you do have to let things go though if it comes back then it's' meant to be.

Answer 10

Why not call her right now maybe she is just waiting you to make the first move .....