My Boyfriend is Christian and I am not?

Question

My Boyfriend is Christian and I am not, he doesn't try to force his superstitions on me but the other day we were talking about future children and it made me really think. I believe in free will, therefore I feel if we are going to teach our kids about religion they have to learn and understand all religions before they can choose. He on the other hand thinks that the only religion they need to know is Christianity. I told him that indoctrinating our kids with only one point of view is not free will but he disagree's. What do you all think? Is it better to show all points of view before letting the child decide or do you think its better to just push one point of view on them?

Answer 1

I agree with it is better to show all points of view before letting the child decide... My husband and I were debating the same thing but different perspectives, such as I'm a Democrat, and he is a Republican, not necessarily saying our differences are major like you boyfriend and you, but it shares common ground. But your boyfriend is being a bully about the situation, and I think you should stand your ground, and don't allow him to push that one point on your future kids...

Answer 2

If you were a specific different religion, it would make sense to allow your children to look at both yours and your husband's. But it sounds like you don't really have a background in a different religion, so the only practical thing to do would be to expose them to your beliefs (none) and your husband's (Christian). Personally, my wife and I are both Christian (RC) and we raised our kids as such. Having religious beliefs is very beneficial when teaching children values. I know non-religious people can have good moral values too, but the odds are better with a religious environment. (don't anyone start ragging on about pedophile priests etc. that is the rare exception, not the rule, and has been blown way out of proportion by a hostile media). Trying to expose your children to a religion that neither you nor your husband is not practical and would only tell your children that mom and dad can't make up their mind. Let them have their free will when they grow up. While they are children, they need direction by example.

Answer 3

You need to sit down with your boyfriend and discuss religion. A Christian isn't supposed to marry a non-christian especially if they totally go against your religion. Religion is very important to a person, you shouldn't try to bring that down. As for 'free will' you are to bring up your child in a Christian home (eph.6:4 and prov. 22:6). Besides when they get older and leave home, they will have plenty of time to make their own choices (even change their viewpoints, but hopefully that won't happen). I don't think of it as 'pushing' a view point on them. Religion is sooo much more than that. However, you are to push them in the right direction and that would be to God, not Jehovah's Witnesses, Atheism, and all those other things.

Answer 4

Frist of all, The bible says to not beuneqely yolked with unbelieverrs. Basic means not to date a non christian if you are one. It also says, How can two walk unless they be agreed. I'm not trying to worry you, but if hes serous about his religion, then you and him might have some problems later on. About the whole children thing...My opinion is kinda biest because I am a VERY devoted apostolic/pentecostal christian, but in my EXPERIANCE, religion is a very confuseig subject for children. When I was young my parents taught me that "Santa, The easter bunny , and the tooth fariy were real. First of all thats a lie, weather or not its tradition, its a sin to tell ur children that. I bring this up becuase later on, My faith in God was impacted. My thing was, If Those people arent real, then is God??? My advise to you is if you are not at all religious and your boyfriend is.. then You should just allow him to bring them to his church and when they get older they will decide for them selves weather or not they want to stay there or change or leave religion complety, But juggleing around different religions could very well hurt them. They need some sort of stability. If you were to do that at a young age, People will be telling them a million diffent things and will drive them nutz. I hope everything works out for you.

-Austin

Answer 5

I feel your pain. My boyfriend is Catholic, since birth, and I'm agnostic/atheist. We aren't in the "children and marriage" speak phase, but religion has been discussed. It used to drive him crazy that I didn't believe in Christianity (Catholicism, specifically). We agreed to disagree.

More to the point, I agree that children should be able to make an educated decision. Five year olds forced to go to Church every Sunday, do NOT get to make an educated decision. They don't truly understand it. However, most religious people feel that only their way is right so they don't think there is any point in teaching their children about other beliefs.

Good luck with this, but definitely resolve the issue before there's a bun in the oven. Don't let this become an unbearable impasse.

Answer 6

Parenting is all about teaching your children about your views and beliefs. Children DO NOT have freewill which is why they need our guidance until they are well into their teens. It is not possible to raise a child that is free of any beliefs, surely, that is so.

I think you should look for someone with your views. To be a Christian and not teach one's children about Christianity would make a person not much of a Christian. But even if they are taught Christianity, when they are able to use their own freewill they can decide for themselves.

Answer 7

well maybe in a sense your right, I grew up free-willed and able to make the choice to accept Christianity. I know of more than a dozen cases where a child was forced into religion only to turn against it and rebel in their teen years. I agree you have to let the child make his or her choice, but let them know exactly what Christianity is, it saved me at a young age. Either way raise your child right and they will make the right decision.

Being a Christian means to spread the word, so your boyfriend isnt trying to do anything wrong. depending how he was raised hes doing what he feels God is intending him to do. But realize God doesnt want you to force anything on anyone, simply put his word into someones point of view, if they hear you then you did your job.


p.s/ Christianity isnt a bunch of superstitions, thats bad wording.

Answer 8

I let my kids come to me. son of 6yrs and daughter who is 8. I answer them with my own view point and then give them examples of what other people think. Or sometimes I will use my friends' viewpoints to give an alternate option.

One sided conversations, to me , sound like "do as I say not as I do". I don't have all the answers and my kids need to be able to draw their own conclusions. There are ways to include the kids in conversations without forcing the issues upon them. For all you know they won't be affiliated with any organized religion. So you need to show them the qualities you want them to learn. They'll ask questions about the rest.

Answer 9

The two of you are setting yourselves up for disaster.
Consider this: what he believes and trusts in, you call superstition. There are two VERY different life-philosophies between a Christian world view, and a non-Christian world view.
The two of you really need to talk.
The best thing I could recommend is that YOU really look into what Christianity is REALLY about. Find out for yourself if there's anything to it. Or, break it off with him.
The two of you (or any couple) can't walk together unless you both agree to.

Answer 10

You two shouldn't even be together in the first place because you are an unbeliever. All you will do is bring him down and corrupt him from his faith in God to the point where he can possibly lose his salvation if he totally falls away. If your marriage is not God centered and your boyfriend is of Christ and you are not, than what do both of you have in common with each other except for sex! Your boyfriend needs to have true fellowship in the Word of God in a relationship, where both would grow and mature in the word and the will and the ways of God, together as one.....If you are already having a sexual realtionship, that would be a sin (fornication) outside of marriage, and lawlessness against one of Gods commandments and a penalty will be paid for it.....Your boyfriend has "stepped out" of the world and has decided to live as a true and faithful servant of God. You are still a child of the world and cannot possibly be good for him or your marriage, let alone bring children into the world. If you get married it cannot possibly work out if your boyfriend is a true Christian because God WILL NOT let your marriage work out. If God let the marriage work out when it is not in His plan for your boyfriend as a follower of Christ who has a personal relationship with the his Father in heaven, then God would never be needed in his life or anybody's life to trust and have faith in Him. There would never be a need for true committment to God for the redemption of our sins. A Father only does what's best for his child. God knows what's better for us than we do and will steer us in the right direction if we seek His guidence in prayer. So that is why God cannot and will not let it work out. That is a fact. I am not making this up. It is not within God's will for an unequally yoked marriage to take place, so He cannot bless your marriage if your boyfriend goes against God and marry's outside of His will for him. God may have had someone else planned for him who is also of the Christian faith and that marriage will be blessed, but your boyfriend may never know if he doesn't continue to pray and seek God's will for Him. He is missing out on all of God's blessings that he could have had!.......You will have many problems and probably end up getting divorced very soon after (if your boyfriend is what you say he is -Christian; in the true sense of the word). I can guarantee you that......So my suggestion to both of you is to seek pre-marital counseling at your boyfriends church. They will tell you the same thing I'm telling you. Do this before you both make a big mistake you will later on regret.

Answer 11

i say push one point of view upon them, and make it a point of view that is totally unaccepted by their peers and society.. that would be the best for them at this point in time

i mean, i remember being a kid.. all i thought about was religion, religion, religion.. i couldnt get it off of my mind.. i sat in church and i tried to relate and process everything the preacher was saying into my own life.. i cant remember it now, but back then i could.. its not like i was thinking about lunch afterwards or going over to my friends house when i got home, i was absorbed with the words that our minister was saying

* i wouldnt have been such a smart-*** if i knew the answers you would get.. what i believe you should do is allow your husband to take your children to his church, they are his children too.. and if you have a place that you would like to take them, tell him that you have that right as well.. but i wouldnt make a crusade about this.. your children will believe what they believe.. there are plenty of references i could make to ppl who were raised a certain way and found another.. and what harm could it do anyways? i believe most christian values, as i understand them, to be things that one would want to have in their children