Can someone give me some sisterly/brotherly advice please?

Question

I had a burglary at Christmas time, in which everything got stolen. When the police knocked on my neighbours' opposite to ask if they'd seen anything, they said yes they'd seen 2 boys, but were too scared to tell the police. I have felt quite bitter towards these neighbours (they don't speak a lot of English and I feel they should have told who the burlgars were, as they could have remained anonymous) and now this neighbour has called at my door asking me (I managed to get the jist of it) to take her and her son see the doctor (as her little boy's unwell). Like a good christian I try to be, I have agreed, but I still feel angry towards them. How should I handle this?

HOPING THIS ISN'T ALL SOUNDING TOO PETTY.

Answer 1

a couple of things here....

you are not the only neighbor that can take this lady somewhere. Someone else can take her

she needs to confess who the boys were that she saw....you have a right to be treated fairly.

you do not need to be unkind, but you do need to be fair to yourself as well.

tell her what you think... it will be good for BOTH of you.

Answer 2

Immigrants from many countries are very afraid of the police because of their experience with corruption in their homeland. They would have seen police haul away innocent people, never to return again, as well as other terrible behaviour. Try to look at it from their perspective.

If their boy is sick, I would take them to the doctor. The boy has nothing to do with the problem and punishing him is wrong. You might ask the mom why they didn't call the police and explain that if they had, the police may have caught the boys. However, calling the police may not have brought about a different outcome. They did tell the police what they saw when asked. If they truly didn't care, they would have said they saw nothing, not wanting to be involved. I'm sure it's not personal and makes sense from their experiences in life.

Answer 3

I am so sorry about your burglary! I had a similar experience, though with a much happier ending. 3 guys broke one of my windows in an effort to get inside while I was upstairs. When I came down and they realized someone was home, they ran off. Turns out my neighbor had seen them hanging around my house, peering in the windows, and generally acting very suspicious. She was afraid to call the police because she thought it would seem racist to call the police because they were black and she hadn't seen them actually doing anything illegal. She did apologize, but, like you, I still have some anger.

If your neighbors don't speak a lot of English, it is possible they are here illegally. Perhaps they come from a country where the police aren't very friendly. You have every right to feel anger (which is not a sin), but please try to put yourself in their shoes. The best thing, both spiritually and safety-wise, would be to make friends with these people. Exchange phone numbers, and tell them to call you (on your cell, at work, etc.) if they see anything suspicious, and that you will call the police so they don't have to, and that you will watch out for them if they will watch out for you.

My husband and I exchanged all our numbers with 2 sets of neighbors after our incident, telling them to call us, day or night, if they see ANYTHING suspicious. They don't have to worry about calling the police over something that may turn out to be nothing, and we feel safer.

Answer 4

I'm choosing to ignore the "good christian" part, as I don't think you have to be religious to be a good person... Anyway, here's my answer:

It's not the little boy's fault his parents were scared, so I'd say take him to the doctor. Maybe while in the waiting room, or if you have some alone time with either parent, gently bring up the subject of the burglary and say how hurt your feelings were that they didn't tell the police. Offer to go with them if they decide to tell.

I hope I've helped.

Answer 5

What you could do is explain to them the importance of reporting crimes. Help them to understand that although their lack of knowledge over the English language is a barrier, it shouldn't hold them back to do important things. You are a very good Christian to take them to the doctor. Perhaps, on your way to the doctor, you can ask her in more detail why they didn't call the police. Forgiving people is a very hard thing to do and don't worry if it doesn't come right away.

Answer 6

You know they could have remained anonymous, but maybe they didnt. If they are from another country, they have no idea about what could/couldnt happen. Try to look at it from thier side. Im certainly not saying what they did was right, but they may have fears that you dont understand. If they did tell, would you have gotten all your things back? Maybe, maybe not. It sure wouldnt have taken the feeling of being violated away. If this woman who you barely know is asking you to take her sick child to the doctor, she seems pretty desperate. I understand your feelings, but its up to you to be the better person. If her son gets sicker, although it wouldnt be your fault, and you dont take him, ask yourself how you will feel then.

Answer 7

No,it isn't petty,it's human nature and you should be able to talk to her when the time is appropriate and tell her how you feel.
If you are going to be neighbors then be one yourself and be honest.Maybe you guys could come up with a plan to help the neighborhood against this again.Fear grips all of us at times and we don't know where she has come from to not realize there is probably a real reason why she is afraid to speak up.
Compassion is how we are expected to behave the things of this world can be replaced easily by keeping first the kingdom of God and his righteousness.

Answer 8

Recall the last time you didn't help someone you felt you should of. This is where you anger is actually coming from. What we have done we will reap. I live in Singapore I've been here for about a month. Due to the partial English of many locals it can be difficult for me. I could see the same feeling for your neighbours. You sound like a good person, so be yourself, not the upsets of your past.

Answer 9

by you taking them to the doctors they are in your debt and will probably be more willing to help you out in the future - but even if they had have called the police, chances are the people who broke into your house would not have been caught anyway, and you yourself know that they don't speak very good english and probably would have confused the poice officers even if they did try and ring. You have every right to be bitter... i would be in your situation but there really isnt anything that you can do about it now apart from make friends with your nieghbours and form a community in which people are more willing to help one another out.

Answer 10

Sometimes it is very easy to feel bitter towards someone for things like that, but as a christian, and a child of god, it is easier to forgive then to forget. Sometimes, people just don't know how to get involved. Specially if they are not really from this country. Just try to swallow your anger, and pride, and do what is necessary. I am sure that they have learned from this mistake and will not let it happen again.

Answer 11

"Love your neighbour as yourself." Matthew 22:39, Mark 12:33. Luke 10:27. Romans 13:9, Galatians 5:14. "....do good to those that .........." Luke 6:27 "...if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you?......" Read Luke 6:27-36

Love them for Jesus' sake, not your own sake.

You will be able to share the 'Good News' with them. If you snub them or make the worldly decision how will you ever be able to share the 'Good News' with them?

Find the 'Good News' at matthiasmedia