i am nearlly 40 yrs of age and only just been in touch after 19 yrs
i found it very emotional & need anwsers into handling it she is very pretty
and i love her lots
2007-02-27 23:48:30 · 4 answers · asked by DEAN R 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
...question for you! "have you been a good father?" what's you're reason for having not seen her for over 19 years? think of it. just go to her and tell her you're sorry, and you loved her.
2007-02-27 23:57:48 · answer #1 · answered by Archangel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This question is interesting to me because I have not seen my father in 20 years. I can tell you from experience from her end of the situation that the worst mistake that you could possibly make is to try to justify your actions or to try to convince her that she should not feel a certain way. You have only experienced what it is to be the father and only she knows what it is like to be your daughter. You need to let her vent even if it creates a certain amount of discomfort for yourself. After all, you claim to love this child. So do not get caught up in yourself. Too many people see loving someone as an emotional state...I feel that it is actually a behavior pattern. When you truly love someone you do what is best for them first and foremost. You do not put them at risk and you swallow your pride if need be to help them work through their problems...especially when that someone is your child. This "reunion" cannot be about you...it has to be about her. She is the one who needs guidance and help to understand why you made the mistakes that you made. You are 40 and have already lived a life. She is young and needs a good foundation in knowing what a man is supposed to be. The first love a girl ever has is her dad. When he is absent it leaves her with a skewed view of what a man, husband and father is supposed to be. Not to mention that it often leads to young girls becoming sexually active too young out of a misguided search for the male approval that they have been missing for so long. If you truly want to make yourself & her feel better...do all that you can to help HER to understand who you were then...who you are now and what you have learned. Don't be afraid to say "I'm Sorry!" and mean it. But as I said she has to be allowed to express her thoughts and feelings FIRST. Good luck to you...I truly hope it works out. Love and family can never be a wrong answer and better late than never!
2007-02-28 10:06:32 · answer #2 · answered by andiw 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be honest with her.Don't push her.Be her friend and don't try to take on the Dad role to much at first.Let her decide where she wants this to go.
Also remember you can not make up for lost time.No matter what those years are gone.But you have to live in the here and now.
Good luck to you both.These situation's can be very tough.
2007-02-28 08:01:53 · answer #3 · answered by gibbygirl38 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If u love her so much then why havnt u seen her in 19 years???
2007-02-28 07:50:51 · answer #4 · answered by Katie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋