im dating a heroin addict i need help!!?

Question

i have been dating a guy for 3 n a half years now, and when i met him he was addicted to heroin, he cleaned up, but now i find out that he has started using again, and when i say using i mean every day. i dont no what i can do to help him, or wether i should stay with him due to all the lies. can he get clean and stay clean, or am i just hoping he will?

Answer 1

You need to give him as much support as you can, and don't give him funds....this will just make it easier for him, and in his mind, you are justifiying it.

But in the end, if this addiction is starting to affect your life too, then maybe it is time to give him an ultimatum. Tell him, it's you or the drugs. It's so hard, but you have to think of yourself and your own wellbeing too in this one.

Make sure he knows that you will give him all the support he needs if he decides to clean up!! But please realise it won't be easy, and he probably won't always be a nice person to be around.

I was addicted to crack cocaine when i was 15. I had to get to rock bottom before i realised that i just couldn't live like that anymore!!!

YES he can get clean, and YES he can stay clean. But until he admits to himself that he has a problem, and truly WANTS to stop, he won't. There is nothing anyone can say or do to try and stop him. I'm speaking from an addicts mind.

I had great friends and family try to help me when i was using, but NO WAY would they be able to stop me. Whatever they said i would appreciate, but not even consider taking their advice. This is the control the drug has over an addict.

Although heroin addiction is ultimately a physical dependance, the addict will mentally become dependant too. With little attention to the mental health need of an addict, little progress will be made in recovery.

We (addicts) take drugs to fill the 'gap' we feel we have in our lives, and without drugs, we need to work on that 'gap'.

There is no use begging, pleading, trying to reason with him. The softly, softly approach WILL NOT work with an addict.
He needs an ultimatum.

But all you can do for now, is make sure he is safe (As much as you can) and make sure he knows he has your support, but that you are also no soft touch.

You need to have a good chat with him. A heart to heart. Find out if HE WANTS to give up.

Suggest him seeing a doctor. He will need medication to get clean.

If he says he does, you can help him.
If he says he doesn't, time for the hard way.

Good Luck In all of this, but remember, you need to think of yourself too.

I pray to god that he will overcome his addiciton (I did!) and that you will both be happy in the end.

GOD BLESS.

www.ca.org.uk
www.drugscope.co.uk

Hayley.

Answer 2

At least some people have the respect to answer your question politly!
choose who you listen to hear .......

wotever you do i hope you understand that be an addict or not people can change. life can throw some bad things at people and it takes alot to keep going in the rite direction.
there has been so much missed the last two months you must have felt so alone,but you must take yourself some time and think clearly about your life,comming out of rehab to find your love waiting for him was great, the last 3 and a half years have been more then an addict could ever wont, support love respect and trust were things that someone like that can only hope for but you gave it and you diddnt see the bad the hurt and lies , you put your trust were others put there disgust. for that you are one of a kind.

Answer 3

the truth is he has properly been using for alot longer than you realise you don't just stay clean and then start up again just like that it gradually builds up again like he properly just smoked it for a while then it would have been one hit a day etc he may have never been truly clean ether way he has been lieing for sometime hes had the help and been clean before so you have done all you can people like that need to want the help before they can be truly drug free you cant put your life on hold for someone like that break free get you life back if he really wants to be with you then he will get help but don't put your life on hold good luck

Answer 4

hi there. i used to see this girl wondering about everyday with her addicted friends and always thought to myself she,s not like them , she is too good for that lifestyle. eventually i struck up a friendship with her , used to let her sleep at mine , feed her etc . people would say to me , what are u doing with her, u must be on it and other silly things ( i thought ). after seeing her for three years we had an argument , she stormed out . i knew she would be ill when she came back , so for the first time i bought her a tenner bag. she didn,t come back that night , so i thought i,d have a sneaky smoke, i knew how 2 do it after watching her 4 so long . anyway , after that first smoke , and me foolishly ignoring all the advice i ended up with a habit! wot i,m saying is , you cant help this person , like other answerer's, he will bring u down, and u will lose everything. so plz, if he loved u like u love him he would understand u wanting a couple of months away from him . he will sort himself out , if he loves u , so be cruel to be kind. i don't want to insult your intelligence but plz do not touch it ! i,m actually a year clean now, but your boyfriend will have total power over you if u do succumb. its hard putting my answer down in writing , STAY SAFE and good luck x

Answer 5

Hello,

(ANS) The problem with heroin is its incredibly incredibly addictive & is extremely extremely hard to truely kick the habit. Some users of heroin have a physical addiction as well as a psychological addication but in reality the two may be impossible to seperate one from another.

**Often people who use drugs like heroin have very deep seated personal problems & deep seated issues that require alot of therapy or prolonged counselling to sort out or resolve.

**Some people have addictive personalities, meaning that if it wasnt heroin it might alcohol, or food, or sex or something else. Their addication would be expressed in some other way shape or form.

**People who take drugs usually have alot of buried pain they are NOT facing upto, or they are in denial that they have a problem. The denial can be a problem in itself too?

**You cannot help your boyfriend, why? because he alone has too want to change, you cannot make him or force him to change even if you love him alot. He has too want to change himself, only he can come off the smack!

**Some smack users go through a merry go round of up's & downs get clean then mess up again, get clean & mess up again and again and again. The problem depends upon how deep seated his habit is.

**Treatment is usually methadone replacement therapy, but this is not whithout its own risks either. Users can become dependant upon the methadone too. The process is designed to slowly wean addicts off the methodone over many months or years.

**I wouldnt be too hopefull of him becomeing total free or totally clean from the heroin. Addicts kid lots of people including themselves. Its a horrible thing to say but most addicts cannot be trusted to be honest.

**He needs professional help if he's willing to face that?

IR

Answer 6

He can get clean and stay clean, but only if he wants to. I've know addicts and I've known recovering addicts - it is possible for someone to overcome their addiction and lead a normal, happy life.

But, it has to be HIM that wants it - it won't work if he doesn't 100% want to get clean. You've got to ask yourself if you are willing to stick around while he decides what he wants.

3 and half years is a long time, and you are probably experiencing all sorts of emotions - sure its easy for people to say "he is an addict, leave him" but it isn't that simple. One thing I will say, is that you mustn't let his addiction affect you. If you choose to stay with him, set rules - no heroin in your presence, you want no contact with his addict friends. You also should make sure that you don't facilitate his drug traking - don't lend him money etc.

If you want more support for YOU, you can get in touch with nar non at http://nar-anon.org/index.html

Hope this helps, and remember there is no rush, take some space and time before you make your descision.

Answer 7

He can get clean, but it's going to take alot more than you think.
Heroin is very very very addictive.
Make him choose, the drugs or you.
If he does keep using, leave him. You are better off without a drug addict in your life. They ruin your financial and emotional state.
It's no good, there's plenty of men out there.
But if you love him, help him. Unless the situation becomes hopeless.

Answer 8

I have a friend who was an addict but has been clean for about 5 years, it was alot of hard work helping him through it, but he isnt my boyfriend or anything, i dont have to live with him. he did get proffesional help and i dont think he could have done it without help. it will be hard for you whatever you decide but i would say if he wants to quit and is willing to get proffesional help then give him a chance. (If you think hes worth it and ye have a future.)

Answer 9

Please,Please get out of that situation.I lived w/ a guy for 3 years.He was wonderful to my daughter,and I.He was clean for 5 years previously..or so he says..anyways..I started seeing patterns..I looked for them(He told me he used to snort it) so i read anything about it and the addiction. I had a gut feeling he was sneaking it,using...I packed up my girl and left...for good...3 months later I returned from a 2 week vaca from Alaska and guess what?Found out he was dead...overdose......I got myself checked,tested,probed for ..lets see 11 years now..(phobia..on what I couldve gotten)
So you see?
Stop hoping he will
You cant change him or his behavior..it's a addiction..any excuse is good enough to use.
please follow your heart...they say if your heart cant tell you...your gut instinct will....you don't need the lies..stop lying to yourself...

Answer 10

He'll not give up until he hits rock bottom and to do that you will have to move away from him. Tell him you are doing it for his own good not because you don't love him but cause you do.

Yes he can get clean if he wants to. First he has to realise he has a problem and you can't make him realise that!