if your parents play favouritsm, would you stop visiting them?

Question

my mom constantly praises my sister and compare my sister to me, i am 28 moved out long time ago, should i stop visiting her so i won't get hurt? she knows what she is doing but she doesn't care, i've already spoken to her many times, even my sister stole from her, and i never borrow 1 cents from my mom, she still think my sister is the best and i am 'untrustworthy', i really don't know what to do? i am eldest and copped most of abuse from her, my sister was treated like Gold

Answer 1

Most parents do this. In my family, you didn't want to be the favourite because the expectations that came with it were absolutely crushing. (I went for "family rebel", it was so much more fun!)

You need to "beat her to the punch". The minute she opens her mouth to tell you how much better your sister is, you need to finish the sentence for her....and deliver it with a smile and a head shake. Make it into your own personal joke and mantra.

Then, I'd limit the time I spend with her. When she complains about it, explain that you want to make sure she has time alone with your sister so the two of them can bond, and you don't want to get in the middle of that.

The other technique I've used, is when I start getting slammed, I say with a chuckle, "Well, obviously you need some time to complain about me, so I'll go now. I've already heard it all, and I wouldn't want your concern for my feelings to get in the way of your complaining". Then give her a kiss on the cheek, and a cheery 'bye' and leave.

Answer 2

Well sorry but she does not sound like much of a mom and I know you love her cause shes your mom but trust me if you continue this game it will mess you up beyond repair I know i have been there but what you have to do is focus on you and your life and you do whats right and forget about her cause sounds like she has some real issues and you cant do anything about it so all you need to do is pray and keep walking make your life better by discarding all the negativity in it. Good luck and remember you do deserve better.

Answer 3

As you said, you have addressed the problem with your mother and it was to no avail. I dont think refusing to see her is the way to go at this point, i mean do you really think that ignoring her will stop you from being hurt? I think you just go about your way and try to ignore the BEHAVIOUR and just be yourself around her. Trying to compete for your mums affections will feed the situation. You dont need your mothers approval. Form a great relationship with your sis and this should help you resolve the issues you have with your sister. Hopefully then your mum will come around.

Answer 4

I think you just answered your own question, if talking dosent seem to stop her then i would stop going lose all contact and if she cares she'll ring and let you know but if not then it's her loss on missing a part in your life. Pretty sad that a mother could do that. But Good Luck hope all goes well and don't stress to much your mother dosent sound worth it.