My boyfriend 32 and I 29 have been together for 8 months.We are very much in love.He really shows me his love and I have no complains.He has already told me a lot of times without proposing that we will get married and made me believe that he meant soon e.g (a year).But a week ago he told me that he has set a time limit to himself not to do anything(get married,live together e.t.c)for the next 1.5 year(which means that we may get married in 2.5 years) because he wants to pay off his loan car.Should I trust that he will keep his word?He has promised other not really important things to me(like bying something or going to a nice restaurant) and sometimes didn't keep his promises or postponed things.That's what worries me and to tell you the truth I do not want to waste my time with someone who isn't worth it.I did that with my ex for 6 years and have been really hurt.How can I tell if he means what he says?Thank you in advance for your replies.Good luck to you all.
2007-02-27 22:06:33 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I see two reason, either your boyfriend is afraid on settling down or he does not want to carry excess baggage to your Marriage (i.e. his car loan).
If his afraid, my question to you, are you prepared to wait until his ready??
If its the 2ND reason, you should be happy that he wants the best for you because he wants to be prepared for the both of you..
Don't hold too much on promises because it will hurt you if it will not be kept... Promises are meant to be broken....
2007-02-27 22:29:25 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like you have a good man. He was honest when he said that he couldn't marry you right away because he has his car to pay off. I don't think that you want to share that debt when you both get married.
I think that you should trust him.Some promises were meant to be broken. So what if he postpones a date here or there. If he isn't cheating on you, then you have nothing to worry about. If he is not stealing anyone identity, then you have nothing to worry about. If he is not married, you have nothing to worry about.
The way that you can tell that your boyfriend is being honest with you is the way that he talks to you. If he is sincere with what he is saying, but comes out strong and direct, then he is being honest. If he starts to stutter and not look you in the eye, he cannot be trusted.
You have got to starting trusting yourself. It seems to me that when you were with your ex, you lost trust in yourself from being hurt by ex. This maybe the true reason why you may not trust your boyfriend.
I really do hope that things work out for you.
2007-02-27 22:30:53 · answer #2 · answered by luckygirl69 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you with him because you love him or are you with him because you think he'll marry you?
It seems like you're more concerned about the marriage thing. Maybe the guy just isn't sure or not ready to committ to the marriage thing yet. If he hasn't proposed then he really hasn't promised you that he'll marry you.
If you love him and he loves you, why isn't he worth it? I know you probably expected to be married before 29, but hey, thats life. Don't appear to be so desperate to get married. It might actually push him away from that idea. Go with the flow and see what happens.
Forget all these people on here saying to get away from him cuz he pushed your weddin back, etc. He never said he would marry you in a year. You said yourself that you assumed it would be a year. A lot of divorce results from constant arguing about financial issues. The guy wants to be in a better position financially before he gets married. If the guy is ready to be engaged, he'll ask you.
2007-02-27 22:15:49 · answer #3 · answered by mmatthews000 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its already bad that he is choosing to pay for his car rather than a wedding ring, but he might be waiting to pay his car so that when the time comes he can focus all his money on the ring and wedding and not worry about having to take some of that fundding to pay for unnecessary bills. Dont hold it against him if he had real good reasons for missing or postponding things like nice restaurants. If he was too bussy working or had to stay late it could be that hes traing to make extra cash to pay his car off earlier or save up for the ring and wedding. Now 8 months is to soon to decide weather you want to spend the rest of you life with him. so altought 2.5 years is a long time, somewere along the line you might find out thinks or just come to realize that hes not the "one".(i mean heaven forbid it happens) and if he is the "one" then "The end justifies the means." if u can get back to me and tell me what you tought about this or if u have questions about what i have wrote.
2007-02-27 22:21:03 · answer #4 · answered by borgking2002 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is high time you start thinking positive. You are at the fag end of your good life and you will find your self in a corner with no one around you.from what you are saying it seems he is wrong and your self confidence on him is also low. So it will be totally wrong if you think he is your right choice. By the time you start having problems with him you might now have the strength to start all again. Better forget this fellow. It is waste of time and loss of your lovely life time too
After sometimes he might very simply say"Promises are made to be broken"
Better break before you hear those words
2007-02-27 22:15:51 · answer #5 · answered by lkslalit 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you shouldn't trust him to me if i was in a relationship with a person that kept delaying things and making empty promises i wouldn't be with them. Why do you have to wait if he love you the way you say he does then why is it so hard for him to make the comitment that he keeps saying he wants but never goes through with it. If i were you i would confront him about it and see what he says, in these kinds of situations you got to put your foot down, and if he dosent change or get better then leave'em. I hope this helps
2007-02-27 22:13:32 · answer #6 · answered by Dusty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He allready broke his promise by postponding ur marriage from 1yr to 2.5 yrs!!i think he himself is not sure what he want to do.?Dont waste ur time by hanging on him talk to him clearly.Tell him that u r not a burden to him.And after marriage together also u can pay all d depts.isnt?
2007-02-27 22:15:06 · answer #7 · answered by sherry 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love is a risk. If you feel comfortable being with him and there's no other bad sign, it is not a bad idea to give it a try. After all you are looking ahead together. He is sharing his plan with you and there's nothing wrong in that.
Good luck.
2007-02-27 22:14:28 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell to talk by meeting halfway tell it happens that way or else i move on then check it out will come propose and u two will be together!
drfreudianslip@gmail.com
2007-02-27 22:16:09 · answer #9 · answered by docfreudianslip 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's with you now and he loves and you are all right with that then why worry about getting married?
2007-02-27 22:17:32 · answer #10 · answered by Rocky 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋