Does age different matter?
My best friend is 18 and she is getting married to a guy that's 42!
she also says that she is madly in love with him.
he has 2 kids and she met them when she went on a vacation with him and the kids..and she is saying that she "loves them"
she is very mature and he is very fit. they look very good together and seem very happy and stuff.
But I'm so worried for her! I mean we grew up together ..she is like a sister to me.. and she is doing this.. I want her happiness but It's such a strange situation. I don't want her to be hurt and I don't want her to be unhapppy..
what do you guys think? I'm going crazy!
oh and her parents are totally ok with it.. they don't even care!
2007-02-27 22:06:16 · 17 answers · asked by angel 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
She kinda raised her niece and she is the type that always loved a big family but doesn't like to give birth! I mean she sees this as the perfect opportunity to get all that she wants without the trouble..
and naa..she is not a gold digger..
2007-02-27 22:22:42 · update #1
You are great to care for your friend....but there's nothing you can do. She may be making a huge mistake....but c'est la vie. That's life. We do make mistakes and we don't want friends criticising our choices or saying "I told you say" A friend's duty is to be there to comfort when things go wrong - but just as importantly, to be there and celebrate when things are going right....that's now. Your friend will have hurts in her life, but she would with a 19 year old boyfriend as well. I reckon she is avoiding a whole lot of nonsense by settling down with a 42 yr old. He's been there and done that....he's probably ready to settle down with a no nonsense kinda girl and she is bypassing all the bullshit to find a security and fulfilling relationship. I wish them luck and hope you can find a place in this situation. You are obviously a good friend.
2007-02-27 22:19:34 · answer #1 · answered by Michelle G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well im 23 and my hub is 33 and my sis just had a baby with a man more than twice her age.... i would honestly say that at the end of the day, even if you were completely oposed to it (which it doesnt sound like you are, you're just a concerned friend) she will still do what makes her happy, which im sure you agree, is what she should do.
if you tell her you hate the idea of it and they stay together forever and prove to be the most functional and happy relationship you know of, then you will feel like a jerk for ever speaking your mind... however if the relationship fails and you dont get all, "told-ya-so" on her, you could be there for her and help her reflect on her mistakes and learn from them so she can evolve into the new version of herself refreshed and more wise... good luck to you... my sister and i met late in life (half siblings raised in different towns) i was 17 and she was like 19(?) and we have seen eachother through many boyfriends... it has taught me to really watch my tongue!!! haha!! you will know the right thing to say when it comes time to say it, or when to simply listen....
2007-02-27 22:23:44 · answer #2 · answered by jessiblu_83 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People say age is no barrier to a good relationship. It all depends on your freind's maturity to handle growing kids and at the same time taking care of a man of her life. being a wife is tough enough. What if she is expecting another kid? That will make things more complicated. But, like I said, if she can go through some kind of counsel and be prepared to handle all these in her journey together with him, all the best for her.
2007-02-27 22:14:32 · answer #3 · answered by TYTAN 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To me, age doesn't matter. As long as you love the person and respect them for who they are, it shouldn't matter. Love comes in ages, colors and sizes.
Be supportive of your friend. Even though the you may not approve of the situation, your friend is iin love with this man. Be there for her.
Do not let this one thing bother you. Always know that your friendship will remain.
It is really good that you worry about your friend's happiness. That is what a good friend does.
2007-02-27 22:16:53 · answer #4 · answered by luckygirl69 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think she's mad. this is way to big of a gap she should wait a few years and not rush into it. maybe they will last who's to know. you can tell her you support her all the way and think they are a lovely couple but just want to ask whether she is sure she wants to do this. if she says yes then leave it be cause your not going to change her mind. the answer above mine is very good you should do that. because if she goes out she will have gorgeous guys throwing themselves at her and he will be at home jealous and will be arguments and stuff.
2007-02-27 22:29:56 · answer #5 · answered by Shannyn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just let her think with u, what will happened to her after 10 -20 years, when she want the life and have fun, he will be old and want to stay in home all the day...
she must to think in her mind, she is very good girl allot of girls want her, and she want that man, she is not lose girl to have a man married and have 2 kids, she still young want to play in this life, she want to raise the kids not for her...
now she is happy and feel like princes but let her thinking about future.. let her think that it's not for her, when she think about future not about now... she have whole life to chose, don't let her be harry...
u are good friend for her that she will listen to u, like her sister if her family don't care....
good luck
2007-02-27 22:26:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
age do really matters, but in your friend's case, i think it is just okay. as long as she loves the guy, there's nothing wrong with it. i think it would be a good marrige because a guy of 42 knows what's best for a relationship. he has the experience!
2007-02-27 22:38:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm 18 and wouldn't dream of being with someone that much older than me but if they say they love each other and her parents are happy then there isn't much you can do except for being happy for her as well and being there for her when she needs you
xxx
2007-02-27 22:10:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dude, if she thinks she'll be fine, than let her be with him.. I know you think you know what's best for her but I think she knows what best for her... But I would feel like what you are feeling right now because you're close to her but REALLY, you should just let her make her own desicions and just be OK with it... Dont get crazy....
2007-02-27 22:12:47 · answer #9 · answered by ramzi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no, age difference doesn't matter if two people r happy together. and if anything goes wrong - well, it can very well be the same between people of the same age!
2007-02-27 22:11:30 · answer #10 · answered by Lana 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋