My 14-year-old cousin thinks I look bland.........?

Question

I'm 22, 5"1" with a medium brown complexion, black wavy hair, dark eyes and slim build. It's true that I like leaving my hair alone on most days, because I can't be bothered styling it. I'm sure I look presentable enough, anyway.
She and I were extremely close when she was growing up, the reason being that I acted like a child even as a teenager. It was fun for her back then, but now she treats me like some boring cousin of hers who lacks motivation to look "good". She's always asking me to wear makeup, even though I like the natural, scrubbed look better. She also says I don't look stylish enough. She's always thinking of glamour, glamour and more glamour.
This has made me resent her a bit, and I'm even avoiding her for no valid reason. To be honest, I know I look more attractive than her, but I feel inadequate when I'm around her family who act the same way that she does. It has even made me become jealous of my own little cousin, which I know is totally ridiculous.
Help!!!

And, the worst part? She and her family think that the reason why I'm still single is that I'm shy and backward, fashionwise. The truth is that I'm picky, and not ready to commit to anyone yet. They say that I should be in a serious relationship by now!

Answer 1

You need to step back a little bit. You may have been close to her before, but you have to accept that you're going to mature before she is. Look at your relationship like another person would see it.

You're the one who should be giving her advice, not the other way around. How many little kids do you know that really knows anything about what people should look like.

Of course you look bland to her, you're a grown-up, the only way not to look bland is to become a teenager again, which is not what you want for a healthy, successful lifestyle.

Teenagers are teenagers because they have not yet grown up. They see the world through narrow minded (although it doesn't always look that way) eyes. How many of them make fun of the other ones for what they look like, and are never open to the thought that maybe a person can be quite happy dressing different from them, or learning more than them.

Obviously, if you know you're more attractive, then maybe you should consider that your sweet little cousin is trying to bring you down to her level, so she can feel like she's a great as you are. Don't hate her for it, it's a bitchy teenager thing that sisters do to one another, and classmates do to eachother.. even best friends.

You SHOULD avoid hanging out with her, at least until she gets older, and gets a hold on life. There's more to life that glamour fashion. (I think it's quite dull actually, because every model you look at in those magazines... well, they're bored stiff, for one, and they have boring lives, believe it or not. And also, evryone cares about what they look like, but don't give a rats hind end what they have to say.)

Answer 2

From how you describe yourself I think that you are probably naturally attractive in away that teenagers cannot understand. You said yourself that youused to act childish but now you might be thinking a little childish. I am a teacher and I constantly constantly tell my female students that they put on toooo much make-up and should just not wear any. I am a purist that way because I do not like make-up or even jewelry. I think that the way a woman looks after coming out of the shower, rain, swimming pool or just waking-up is sometimes the best way any woman can look but I am 35 and have had time to understand this. Your cousin is caught up in the media hype britney lindsey cultural dilemna that is causing so many girls to be anorexic. I am constantly telling my student that they are beautiful and special the way they are and if their friends or that special guy can't see that then they are not worth the attention. You shouldn't resent your cousin but pity her and help her to get past this phase. You know you are attractive and that's good enough. Men will sense that and you wouldn't want a man who is attracted to a shallow painted shell anyways. you are right to be picky. You are in your dating prime and should try to keep from being with shallow guys. You understand this but your family probably is only concerned with seeing you married with children. Don't envy your cousin because she does not appreciate herself and let your family think what they may because families can be hard on us sometimes with their expectations even thought they don't know the whole story. Just because they are blood they think they can sometimes pass judgement without knowing the rest of the story.

Answer 3

My wife prefers the clean natural look better too. It is a matter of opinion. Some women look better w/o makeup and some women need a few inches of make up to feel like leaving the house. Just differences of opinion. As on how to handle them, they are family so they will always be there. But if you choose to stray a bit, and have your own darn ideas, they can say what they want but it won´t matter. Take care of yourself and don´t let some little 14 year old who is all about the glamour glamour glamour dictate how you should dress. Jackie O. was glamorous, but so are a lot of women who would never dress that way. Don´t worry about them. And about finding a partner, they are just putting you down so they can feel higher. Hope I could´ve helped a bit. Love and Respect.

Answer 4

You are fine.

And it sounds like you have out grown your cousin finally.

Maybe you can start spending more time with people closer to your age and that have the same interests as you.

You will be spending time again off and on with your cousin and her family for the rest of your life.

But It now seems like it is time to take a break.

I hope this helps.

Answer 5

And why are you really worried about what a child thinks? aren't you an adult? do you get asked out? C'mon unless you've never been asked out on a date i really wouldn't worry about it . especially if you personally think your attractive without makeup . In my personal opinion a woman who's hot without a lot makeup is way more attractive than a hottie with plaster all over her face.

Answer 6

Your 14 year old cousin is a child. Her parents are shallow. I never wear make up either and I'm in a relationship and pretty much married! They don't know what they are talking about.

Answer 7

For one the way you wear your make up is how you want or not a all. not theirs.second of all if your not ready to committ yet, thats fine, its not their decision to make,its yours. i would say dont worry about it. tell them to shut up. or when they come over put some on and take it right off when they leave. but you still dont have to do that. its your choice.