Or is this just a popular optional extra?
I thought I'd share this morning's episode with you...
I am currently decorating and am wearing a pair of old jeans and a T-shirt which are covered in paint splatters, polyfilla, woodstain etc. The front door opens into the hallway, which is stripped and bare, featuring newly white walls, a stepladder and assorted piles of decorators tape, sandpaper, spare roller sleeves, etc.
The two pillocks who have "come to share some thoughts" on my doorstep begin the conversation, "Sorry, have we go you out of bed?"
The conversation kind of goes downhill from there. It's a bit like watching Eurovision, talking to these people. You start off with good intentions of being respectful of other cultures whilst maintaining a healthy distance from the stupidity of it, but cannot help laughing at first, slipping into derision, then on to blatant sarcasm, before descending into a fury fuelled by rage because they won't shut up and go away.
2007-02-27 21:28:27 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
I do have a sure-fire way of getting rid of them - other than beating them senseless...
I remove my top and say, "with a body like this, I don't need a God to worship."
I just thought I'd share the moment...
2007-02-27 22:17:21 · update #1
Oh, and for Daniel Marsland, what sort of people do you think might be sent to "spread the word door to door"? Read the smegging question, you dolt.
2007-02-27 22:19:21 · update #2
lol, yes they were a bit idiotic, especially with the 'did we get you out of bed' comment.
I wish that people would give up with all the door to door stuff. don't they think that they should just let the religion sell itself and if it's that good people will come to them? or are they that worried that it is so crap that they have to go out and badger people into joining?
Edit - fanella, those young american boys are probably mormons
2007-02-27 21:36:40 · answer #1 · answered by aleta_uk_0 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is a piece I was sent from a Pagan site. It's called "We are the Other People." I have modified it to remove the blatant Americanisms and make it universally readable. I have a few copies ready for the Witnesses when they call, and hand it to them in exchange for the Watchtower.It compares the 1st and 2nd chapters of Genesis, and is really funny, as well as sending up their unrealistic fundamentalism on basic human genealogy. If anyone wants a copy, I'll put it on my Blog on 360. Let me know.
2007-02-28 05:42:59 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I meet them at the door with a hunting knife and a bottle of beer and say "Sure I'll listen, but make it quick we're about to sacrifice a virgin in here" They run away and never come back.
2007-02-28 10:48:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It was interesting talking to Jehovah's Witlesses (I claim that if others havent!) when I still had my facial piercings... I considered myself to be "born again" but didn't go to church or annoy the hell out of people. I used to be Catholic... I don't know what the door-to-door type feel is more "in need": a Mormon, a Catholic, or an atheist.
2007-02-28 05:47:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Oh tell me about it - they cant seem to take a hint can they?!! I just slam the door in their faces now - i try to be a nice person most of the time, but these people really piss me off!!
2007-02-28 05:31:55 · answer #5 · answered by littlekitty 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you feel better now you've got that out of your system?
I know how you feel I get morons like that on my doorstep a couple of times a month. It's because they are too stupid to get a proper job, so they spend their time bugging people like you and me.
2007-02-28 05:32:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My favorite response is to become a def-mute. Give them some sign language and an occasional grunt or two and they will leave. If that doesn't work then start picking your nose. :o)
2007-02-28 06:14:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
So what group of people are you referring to?
All you've said is '2 pillocks came to the door'.
I'll assume that you're just annoyed at whoever.
2007-02-28 05:53:15 · answer #8 · answered by daniel_marsland 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I just say, in a very polite tone, hey honey the jesus freaks are back, can you grab the gun??
That usually gets rid of them. LOL
2007-02-28 11:13:22 · answer #9 · answered by MexicaliBlues 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
so you murdered your wife and are painting over the blood stains, yet you turn down the local door to door prostitute? cant understand that decision.
2007-03-01 10:05:22 · answer #10 · answered by scringe69 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋