A view needed by any parent please.?

Question

I work in childcare and due to the development/ severe bahaviour of some children, it needs to be addressed with their parents. How would you as a parent like to be spoken to about these issues, what comments from carers would upset you. I want to make dealing with these issues smooth without upsetting the parent.

Answer 1

I am a teacher and also find this difficult. I now have a little girl and think that honesty is the best way. Mind you it needs to be a little padded. Maybe start with the positives and then add the concerns. It is tough some parents don't want to know no matter what.

Answer 2

Say something like you really like their children, they did something sweet (name something). You have noticed that sometimes they do things that upset another child, and then the other child won't play with them. You can say that it is so important to nip this in the bud right now because it is easier to stop a habit when it is first forming than later when it is really a strong habit. You can say, it is a pretty common problem and this suggestion I have has worked with some other children who have also had this problem, and what do they think of this idea? See if they think both you and the parents can work on the same thing to help their child go back to being as popular as they were before. Appear earnest and wanting what is best for their child and I don't see how you could go wrong.

Answer 3

I know that there is the always predictable is there anything going on home and honestly sometimes the parents will just say no.
Just respect them and choose your words wisely. Do not accuse their child of anything, have things written down and certain things that occured. Always have something positive to say along with the negative. Also have some suggestions on what the parenst can do to solve the problem.
I once had a teacher say to me I knew your daughter would be trouble when she walked in the door(straight A, never had a problem before) and it set me off the wrong way-you NEVER say things like that..(the teacher threw a book at my kid but she had the problem!)
It is all about how you approach them.
Good luck.

Answer 4

Hi, you have a delicate situation, lets try to help no guarantees.

Don't tell me my child is troublesome, I know he is but don't tell me.

i love my child and they will always be angels.

My child must be good I raised them that way.

This is a track you will need plenty of grunt to follow. Try asking the parent if they noticed anything behavioural about their child if they say 'no' then ask if they have seen the child do or say anything unusual, if they say 'no' ask them if the child has been quiet at all.
If the 'nos' to the first two questions seem wrong they probably are, the parent sees the misbehaviour at home as normal.
Asking if the child is quiet makes them wonder if you are mad as their child is never quiet and then point out that the child's over active manner is not normal among others of his age group.
Now they are thinking instead of reacting. Hopefully no guarantees.
A parent who thinks you may be right can be dealt with better than one who thinks you are criticising their child. Good luck.

Answer 5

Honesty is the best policy! Sure you can pad it a little but you need to make sure the parent(s) know and understand what the problem is so it can be resolved.
Try a journal for each child, and write to the parents in it about every day. Tell them good things their child has done. (ex: a colouring or a craft or going pee on the potty, sharing a toy...) and then explaine some of the bad behavior (ex: got a time out for hitting another child, or didn't eat his lunch...)
I would love to read about my childs day everyday. To reward his good behaviour and to be able to ask his about his bad behaviour. so that we can discuss it.
Good luck.

Answer 6

No parent likes to be told their child is "naughty". A gentler approach is probably more gracious..."we are having some problems at the moment...". My son has just started school and the teacher uses the terms "you are making good choices..." or "that's a bad choice". It's showing the kids that their behaviour is their choice. Parents also don't like to be told that their child was the "ring-leader" when there is a group of children involved, but at the same time we all know what our kids are like. As long as you don't put the child down or bad mouth him/her, I think most parents would understand

Answer 7

This is a very hard subject. If you come across the wrong way you will just make the parent angry and they won't hear a thing you are trying to say. I would pose your concern in the form of a question....Have you ever noticed Joey doing xyz? What have you done to stop/prevent/address xyz? Can we sit down and discuss different ideas/options or how you would like us to handle problem xyz. Hope that helps. Good luck

Answer 8

I would ask the parent if there is something going on at home (loss of a grandparent, or other event) that may have the child upset or acting out. Parents never want to be blamed so it is best to ask in general sense and that it is recent that you have noticed a change.

Answer 9

Can I just add that you'll get a better response if you can keep the fact that you're talking about a touchy issue between you and the parent. Don't be like one of the women who used to work at our youth center and announce to the lobby full of parents that "Mrs. H...., I need to talk to you about J. and that she ......". That almost always starts the conversation out with the parent on the defensive.

Answer 10

Just me, and I have found that I am different than most people. I would like it straight and forward. I do not read minds so you need to tell me and I would like to know. Also, if you have suggestions of things that I could do on my own, I would appreciate it. If there are suggestions of working together--with you or someone else, I would appreciate suggestions. (Naturally, suggestions--not demands.) But as I stated--I am not most or like most parents. Also, I may be hurt/frustrated at first but I would still wish it straight and forward. I was also an older parent.