what advice would you give?

Question

to a friend whose husband is newly diagnosed with cancer? she is desperatly unhappy (obviously) and i worry she will do "something daft" :(

Answer 1

That he'll get through it. You need to support her, and let her talk when she needs to.

Answer 2

It sounds like the husband was diagnosed with terminal cancer, apposed to cancer. The answer to you question depends on that point. Recently a friend of mine overcame prostate cancer, so I would suggest that you reassure your friend, by letting her know that he could get over the cancer and many people do.
If he was diagnosed with terminal cancer, then I do not know what to say, but I would suggest that you continue to be the friend that you always have been, and continue to support her. I would not be concerned about her doing anything daft while her husband is alive, but if he passes away, continue to be there for her as best you can. Being there for her is the most you can do.

Answer 3

I have unfortunately just lost a family member to Cancer.
Support is crucial for not just her husband but for her as well and the best support I got was through the cancer nurse.

Depending on his diagnosis and if they are able to operate or whether is it terminal.
People react in different ways to the news some withdraw from loved ones and friends other will be happy to see people.

It is very much a personal disease and the people involved need to be strong and prepared to face the mental and physical changes as they occur.

My thoughts are with you this is going to be a hard time.
On a lighter note some Cancers can be treated and I hope this is the case for your friend and her husband.

Answer 4

They've come a long way in cancer research. All hope is not lost and she should have him get a second opinion. There are a lot of cancer's that are curable if caught early enough. It is very hard word to hear. Comfort here and you can even help by doing some research for her. There are a lot of options out there now. Your friends husband will be in my prayers

Answer 5

The best advice I can give you is to be there for your friend....this is a hellish time for her and her family....advice is not what she needs right now...a shoulder, a hug, patience, love and just being there to vent her pain....when my dad was diagnosed with cancer, throughout his illness, after his passing and still now my friend has been there, quietly by my side in hours of need, sorrow, desperation and grief....she hasn't really given any advice but just a solid rock by my side who I know I can rely on no matter what the hour or the circumstances has meant more so much more than any words of advice. My thoughts are with you, your friend and her family right now xxxxx

Answer 6

Have a look on the Cancer Research website for advice - there is a statistic somewhere that one in three of us wll be affected by cancer but something like the majority of cases are treatable if caught early. I think it makes a big difference to someone if they have a friend there to talk to if they need to, just be there for her and ring to see how she is etc. Good luck.

Answer 7

When I was first diagnosed, I felt like taking an overdose of sleeping tablets. I know how you feel. But encourage her to get in touch with a MacMillan nurse. They are angels on earth and mine is so wonderful.
Cancer doesn't always mean doom and gloom. Two years ago I was given 6-12 months. Admittedly I am now on my second round of chemo. and feel pretty rough, but I have enormous support from family and friends and life is for living, I try to make each day count.
Love to all on chemo xxxxxxx

Answer 8

There's a song called 'Live like you were dying'. It's by Tim McGraw. He wrote it when his father was diagnosed with some illness (I believe it was cancer, though I can't remember). He realised that we should live our every day as though it were our last. Tell your friend to enjoy what days, months, years (some people do recover from cancer) she has left with her husband by doing and perhaps saying all the things she never did/said.
It depends on your outlook on life. How much longer does someone want to prolong his/her life if it is to be lived from therapy to therapy?

Answer 9

you can't really give much advice as she would probably not appreciate it, as it would be pointless maybe.
Perhaps the best route is to point out the positive steps that can be taken, i.e. surgery and point out the chances of success... or if there isn't any then encourage her to enjoy the last time with her husband and to live a little, that will help take their mind off things, and have everlasting memories to remember forever... when my dad died (not from cancer) I was so glad that 3 days before we'd had a really good day out, seeing as I didn't see him very often, because now I have that memory to draw on at all times

Answer 10

Be there for her, I wouldnt think she will do something daft, but she will need you on the end on a phone ready to support her day or night. Take her out occasionally, she needs time for herself, so that she has strength to deal with what is going on in her life. Be the best friend she could ever have. Everybody deals with it in a different way.

Answer 11

as th wife of someone that has cancer I can tell oyu that the best thing that you can do for your friend is to be there for her thak her some place that you used to go try to keep her live as normal as it was beforethe diagnosis I know that when my husband was diagnosed 8 monthes ago I went into severe depression and if it hadnt been for family and friends staying with him and doing little thing just for me to make me feel special I probably would have done something.