mistake not having kids?

Question

i luv children but dont think i'll ever want to have any. im 25 & wonder somtimes if i'll regret it later but then i dont think i could handle being a parent. for everything i'll have to give up, i think i'll end up hating my children & then hate myself for being a horrible parent! any parents wish u hadn't had kids? is it worth giving up so much?

Answer 1

I didn't want children until I hit 30, then it was a case of 'all change' and I suddenly wanted one. I had twins at 34, and it certainly changed my life, found myself putting lots of things 'on hold' for them in fact, so it's not something you should go into unless it's really what you want.

I would say you've got plenty of time to have a baby if you change your mind later. Enjoy being child-free in the meantime! What about your husband/partner? Would he support you, be a good Dad? If you haven't met Mr Right yet, maybe you will feel different when you do.

Answer 2

Your own children are very different to looking after someone else`s once you have a baby in your arms after birth nothing will ever be more important than that child and you would fight the world for them if you have to. your still young enough to leave it a while if you dont feel ready yet.
Any mother will tell you there is no love like the love for your child/children. Believe me i have two children and i had a miss-carriage and a still-born daughter in december and loosing her was the worse thing thats ever happened to me in my life and also made me feel very lucky with the children i have.
Believe me its worth giving up everything and anything to feel this amount of loveeven when the little darlings are screaming there heads off or really annoying you.
It shows you would be a good parent as you are corcious about how to be a good parent.
Take care

Answer 3

I love my 4 girls dearly and could never imagine life without them but i have often wondered what it would be like if i had never had any , i have came to the conclusion my life would be empty and i am more than happy with my lot , don`t get me wrong kids are hard work , money can be tight now and again but we always manage , everyone manages its not impossible .
We have lots of laughs (most of the time) . The only thing that p*sses me off at times is the mess of their bedrooms , that is my only bugbear , i hate mess ! and now and again i find a new drawing on the wall (my 4yr old) or all the shampoo has been poured down the loo etc (louise yet again ) . Would i change a thing ? No ! The decision to have kids can only be yours and at 25 there is still plenty of time before mother nature bugs your brain to produce .
My girls are 16,13,10 and 4 . I had my first at 21 and my last at 33 .

Answer 4

Many old people are shoved into an old peoples' home and only get a visit from their children once every couple of months. I know that being childfree I will end up being one of those people in a home but at least I will not be sad thinking that my own flesh and blood don't want to see me. I will know that the reason I don't get visits is because of a choice I made as a young woman and not becuase of my selfish offsprings. I think having kids is a very big responsibility and if you are not willing to take that on in fear of losing things in your life that you enjoy then there's really no point in having kids. If you already question whether this is what you really want then perhaps it isn't what you want. Then again, you could change your mind in years to come but that is up to you. You shouldn't pressure yourself into something that you are not comfortable with but that's true for everything in life. Live your life the way you feel you are most happy with.

Answer 5

Something nobody tells you about,is the moment your baby is born,you become totally in love with her/him. My daughter was planned,but during the pregancy,I worried alot about my future kids as I'd had 5 years of being selfish.I'd do what I wanted,buy what I fancied.I feared I'd be a bad mother & maybe I wouldn't love my baby.Boy how wrong I was, for the first 2 weeks I felt like all my dreams had come true. I happily spent all my time with my daughter,caring for her every need & gazing at her.You know the feelings you get when you fall in love with somebody,it's a simualar feeling x 10. It's wonderful & I guess its what makes us reproduce. The human race wud die out if having kids was really difficult. You couldn't hate your kids Im sure,your kids are like the nicest people you've ever met,it's so wonderful. I hope you dont let your fears put you off, think you will regret it if you never have any.The fact you asked this question means its a bit of an issue to you.Anyway you've got a good 10 years to decide. Good luck

Answer 6

there is not one day I ever regret having my children. I think they are such a blessing really. Esp that I had a hard time to conceive them so I feel really lucky because there really is so many people that cannot have children.
I think it is definately better to have children when you are ready and when you want them.
Some people who have children by mistake end up just loving being a parent and some don't and just pawn their kids off to their parents or some other people.
But same goes with maybe some parents who try to have kids but I doubt it and if there are it's very few.
I don tknow there is something special about having a child and then raising the child. To know you created this child and this child looks up to you. There are definatley hard time and a life style change but you don't have to give up everything. And you gain alot too not just give up.

I would give up anything to have my children. The love I have for them is unexplainable and unmeasurable. I would die and kill for my children in a heartbeat!

Answer 7

i was 17 when i had my first iam 21 now and just had my 2nd 4mth ago in one way i wish i had waited i mean i have missed out on alot of things like being a care free teenager,doing what i want etc but if someone said that they can change it all let me go back and do it all again i would still choose the same path it is totally worth it if its what you want you don't have to decide right now forget about it the now have another think when you 30 enjoy life the now it doesn't en with children a new part begins

Answer 8

When I was your age I didnt want children either. I was busy, I travelled all over the world and sometimes worked 7 days a week and I knew that I didnt have much patience for children.

15 years on and I regret it now and you start thinking what they wouold be doing and how they would be growing up. Its a regret now that I didnt have children but you cannot undo decisions you make in the past.

Its better that you dont have children rather than have children that you regret.

Answer 9

If you don't think you could handle having children i strongly recomend that you don't. Children are extremely hard to deal with. When they are in their teens it wil be the worst! If you had kids from about 13 - 20 you will have to put up with so much. You could always adopt a child when you are older. There isn't much to regret, just make the choice which you want. Goodluck!!

Answer 10

I am 40, with no children, by choice. I had a vasectomy at 21. My girlfriend did roughly the same. We did not know each other when we decided not to have children. My cube-mate is in her late 40’s and has no children. I know about a half-dozen other people that did the same. Not a single one regrets it.

Don’t worry, you won’t regret it. My friends whom are paying out a lot of child support, tell me I made the right choice.