i have this female friend of mine and i have deep feelings for her. However, she is married and has a 20month old boy. Recently i spent time with her and i noticed something was wrong so i implored her to tell me.She finally did and she let me know more than i ever wanted, which in return made my feelings stronger for her. The morality issue comes in because she is married. However, her husband cheated on her two weeks after being married and again three additional times. One was even her best friend. I told her she should try to talk it out with him and work things out for the babies sake. However, i stumbled on one of the letters he had written her and it was appalling. It was profanity laden and very cold. He even called her the C word. I know she has been faithful to him except for the night she fell asleep in my lap and that could hardly be called unfaithful compared to him.
So what does the YA community think i should do.
By the way i regret telling her to stay.
2007-02-27 19:57:53 · 14 answers · asked by roncho 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i have abstained from even putting myself into a position to sleep with her. She is vulnerable and i know that. I am a virtuous person thats why i have seeked help. i just dont know what to do. i try to help her through but she has been raked over the proverbial coals. In addition, I have seem many of his responses after I stumbled over the first and they are horrible.
2007-02-27 20:15:41 · update #1
There is no need for feeling guilty about a trusting friend falling asleep in your lap, if you did not abuse her trust. Leave her laone to sort out her problem with the husband's infidelity.TIT FOR TAT is hardly the way to do that. Unless she seeks your help to overcome the situation , let her handle it independently.
2007-02-27 20:07:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You did the right thing tell her to work it out for the baby's sake. If it doesn't work out between them and they ending up getting the divorce, remain a good friend until she is ready for another relationship. Just keep being there for her will help in the long run. But that is if only if it doesn't work out between them. It's hard telling what could happen. But you don't want to ruin their relationship because of the baby. Maybe they will come around and raise it together instead of getting the divorce.
2007-02-28 04:09:05 · answer #2 · answered by Gene S 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't get involved in her marriage. Let her sort out her thoughts and marriage. Whether its right or wrong, you - as a 3rd party, should stay out of it unless your advice is needed. Until she knows what she wants, there isn't much you can do. Don't even try to be Mr. White Knight. You may get your fingers burnt and make her life worst than hell. Don't forget you've only got one side of the story.
2007-02-28 04:04:56 · answer #3 · answered by SGElite 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Morality is relative.
If you are a man of virtue, and thats how you seem to describe yourself, I think it is your duty to make the RIGHT choice. Now what is right... its up to you to discover. BUT, if that can help you to take a decision, the happiness of your friend should be prioritized.
Now thou seem to convience yourself that the fact HE cheated on her is a motivation for your choice. It is not.
What should be the motivation is what SHE want, what she really desire. Now if she s a confused girl, and I bet she is, maybe you could try to help her determine what is right for herself without considering what is good for you. If you make sure she s happy, it will be profitable for you, dont worry about it.
Now if you are not a man of virtue, forget all i said and just go for it.
2007-02-28 04:06:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you loved her, you would do what is morally right. sticking to principals is what sets you apart from her cheating husband. once you explain to her how your different from her husband, and how you need to withdraw from this situation completely due to how morally wrong it is. she will hopefully understand, and it will clear her mind and let her know how a REAL man should be. if you sleep with her, while shes still married. your no better that that jerk of a husband. wish you the best.
2007-02-28 04:05:58 · answer #5 · answered by Charlie H 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your friend loves her husband too much and refused to accept that he's unfaithful to her. even if you are her uncle, you can't meddle with her business, because it's her marital problem. what you can do is to probably just try to talk to her, be there for her and maybe bring in a marriage counsellor or someone with authority.
2007-02-28 04:01:11 · answer #6 · answered by pee_bag 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you definitly need to seek her out as your wife. if u know damn well this man is not good for her, then WHO CARES about morality? marriage is a sacred union, but he destroyed their vows when he cheated on her (sick bastard) anyways, GO GET HER! make her and her baby move in with u and get a restraining order on that jerk. if you really feel something strong for her, then DONT let her spend one more day in that abusive household with that creep.
2007-02-28 04:03:06 · answer #7 · answered by waterlily750 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stop seeing and talking to her until she gets a divorce. Seriously. Now.
If they do break up and she contacts you, look up the paperwork with the county to make sure it's all finalized.
2007-02-28 04:02:00 · answer #8 · answered by Suzanne Rides 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may keep supporting her by listen to her problems and give her advice, but no intimate relationship until she divorce with her husband.
2007-02-28 04:05:51 · answer #9 · answered by blue_sea07 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
FIRST of all you need to be ready to be responsible. a baby is a big responsibility. BUT if you love her go 4 it.
2007-02-28 04:03:03 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋