Why should men pay for the date!?

Question

This is a spinoff from another question.

I would like to hear from ladies out there and the manginas that wants to chip in.

Why Should men pay for the dates?. Im looking for logical, thorough explanation of this, backed up with facts.

Women has fought for equal rights. But equal rights come with a price because true equality means equality across the board, not just equality until the check comes. The real gender gap is that women with good jobs and equal incomes are still insisting that men finance their social lives. Writing 2007 women are now earning as much as -- or more than -- their male counterparts.

So again. Im looking for intelligent and logical replies why women shouldn't foot the bill

Elana- What you are basically saying is that most women engage in whitewashed prostitution. He pays or he wont get laid ..dating reduced to a wh**e/john relationship

Hokey - That may be true but wouldn't the wait that be worth it to get a quality woman?

Kim- I understand where he is coming from. Women will often make a half hearted attempt to pay the bill. But a lot of times its a test/trick. If we take you up on it we will be going home alone that night. You could pay in other ways. Buy him something nice once in awhile to even it out. Take him out on special occations on YOU!.

- Elana
For your added details

Women package themselves for sale to the highest bidder they can attract -- you don't see umpteen magazines touting beauty tips or gigantic cosmetic counters for men. No one -- and I mean no one, needs a hundred pairs of shoes.

And as for what it costs to be a man -- try getting a date without an expensive house, an upscale car and nice clothing.

- Zen Penguin
you are explaining how things are. You don't adress why women shouldn't pay her share or even foot the bill. otherwise interesting stuff

Kosi thats exactly the point.. But we are writing 2007 here. I would like to think that women fought for equal rights because they were unhappy not being able to vote,getting paid the same as their counterparts and generally seen as inferior to men. Progressing instead of holding on to old primal values.

I'd like someone to give me door-to-door chauffeur service, bring me presents, and pay for my dinner and entertainment, all for the possibility of sex, but with no obligation whatsoever. Let's be honest; if we did this, we'd be in jail for fraud

Answer 1

(Note: Please excuse my english as it is not my natrual language)

In my opinion, it's all about maximization and deminishing returns.

If you walk pass a dollar bill on the sidewalks, would you just ignore it and walk away? Most people wouldn't. Similarly, if you had the choice between paying or not paying, which would you choose? (If you insist on paying, good for you. If not, that's ok it's normal. It's a sad truth that all human beings are influenced by greed.)

I believe that women are given these choices way too often and being raised in this enviroment many of them are spoiled. They fight for equal opportunities and most of them are beginning to get it, but when given the opportunity for them to haggle for 'more' it's only human's nature for them to do so.

However, besides women being spoiled, I think men's pride also plays a huge big part in this situation. Many men still hold 'traditional values' and if they are not capable to 'provide', they are lesser of a man.

Please consider these points:
1) Pride compels men to 'show' they can support. (And they bring themselves into an endless cycles of trying to impress women with their ability to support.)
2) (Deminishing return) The more support the women receives, the less they value the support. (Women are spoiled by these gestures.)
3) Eventually, women get the idea that these supports should be taken for granted.
4) When men suggest women should also contribute, different opinion leads to dispute.

Chances are, if you started any kind of materialistic relationship... it will remain that way until it ends.

The fact is, all human are governed by greed to certain degrees. If we don't want to see their ugly side, don't appeal to them from their greedy side in the beginning.

If we want women to stop complaining about paying the bills, we need to stop spoiling them. But it's too bad this will never happen collectively, since paying for the date is the 'short-cut' to most relationships. (And men like short-cuts....)

Men are constantly trying to '1-up' each other. And usually with materialist help, things are a lot easier. Say hypothetically, if you were a female and you have to choose between two equally attractive guy. But one pays for the date and the other doesn't, which one would you pick?

Answer 2

It has to do with culture, in the old days men used to pay them everything, and it was women's duty to be at the house, cooking, and taking care of the kids.
Things are changing now, now women want equal rights, and I don't think men should pay all the time. Also, there is this rise of gold diggers (like a hoo.ker, just smarter), and if the man pays all the time and buys her stuff, he might expect sex as an exchange or he might think the woman is a gold digger.
This is how I think, If the guys invites a woman to eat, he should pay because he invited her, but, if the woman invited him to eat, then she should pay.
I don't think there's something wrong with paying sometimes, I think it is ok to help them at least half, but whenever women feel comfortable to help, not a MUST.
Also, doing that, we as women show that we are not interested only in their money.
"Men are not bank accounts"
and women, get a job, go get some education

Answer 3

You're tilting at windmills, Don Quixote.

Equal rights, gender gaps - that's all front brain stuff. The answer is found in the illogical reptilian brain in the back.

At the heart, with the veneer of civilization washed out, men and women want different things. Women can always have sex. Any woman who so chooses can have sex within the hour. What women are looking for is a man worthy of her sex. What makes a man worthy is how he will treat her, and her children. Unconsciously or consciously, that's what a woman wants.

At the heart, men want sex. Wash out civilization, the more women we have sex with - and the more often we have sex with them - the greater the chance we'll have children who survive to the next generation. We want sex, and the less energy we put into having sex, the more we can put into having sex with someone else. At the heart, when we are first dating, for guys the whole point is to assess our prospects with a woman while putting in a minimum of effort.

So in a complicated society with a million different written and unwritten rules, the fact is that at the core women are holding out for that one great guy, while guys are trying to figure out who will be that great woman with a minimum of effort. The DIFFERENCE, however, is that while women are holding to their principles waiting for Mr. Right, they can always have sex with Mr Right Now; whereas guys, if we cheap out and hold to our principles, are pretty much stuck with Lefty Palm.

So unless you're really good looking and can be that Mr. Right Now who's always sleeping with women, the girls will simply pass you by in their quest to satisfy their reptilian urges, leaving you serial masturbator. Since I'm not Mr Right Now, I need all the brownie points I can get. So I pay for the first few dates.

(BTW, once sex has happened the game shifts dramatically.)

Answer 4

In the distant past women did not work and so the man would pay if he wanted to court a woman but now that is not the case so there is no reason for the man to pay other than to impress the girl.Most woman will be happy to pay half of the meal.

Answer 5

There are a number of reasons.

1. It's the oldest profession, so to speak. As much as respectable women and housewives would beg to differ, it comes down to one thing: if a man expects to get what he wants at the end of a date, he's got to give a woman what she wants at the beginning of it. Evolutionarily speaking, this has always been the case. Women want to be taken care of, whether or not they can take care of themselves. Of course, men can take care of themselves as well, but that doesn't help the procreation of the species much.

2. By the same token, it's an ego thing for men. At least in my experience with men, for the most part they didn't mind me paying for one or two dates, but if I paid for most dates, they felt awkward. To them it was "unmanly," as though they needed to prove their solvency as a measure of their worthiness. Once again, I believe this goes back to primal times when a woman would choose the man who could bring her the biggest gift.

Answer 6

Elana's got it right.

If were all "equal" than this should have ceased in the 80's. I reckon if a woman expects the male to pay for the date - she's the same as a prostitute; "Pay me and buy me gifts or I won't service you!"

I'm a woman and I think women like these are pathetic!

Answer 7

Simple answer, they shouldnt!
Women expect men to pay as it's a tradition that it has been set in place and I dont beleive that it will ever change. Women want equal rights but when it suits them to worm their way out of things they will come up with some lame excuse as to why they shouldnt "pay for the first date" as an example. Something in return springs to mind as to why any guy would pay for a date....they just might be lucky enough to get sex!
Written by a female who beleives in equal rights :-)

Answer 8

My Mangina Opinion...
As a true man-whore, you must implement guidelines as to who will pay, and make sure that all rules are divulged to the other party before the commencement of the proposed date.
Or you can lay it out like this...If I pay, I expect someting in return, so if your not down with that, then buy your own Grande Iced White Chocolate Mocha.

Answer 9

DUDE, judging by the lack of MEN in college and university these days id say that in the next 50 years women will be making way more money than us men. But you gotta suck it up if you wanna get laid, its only like what 30 dollars?

Answer 10

First of all, where are you getting your facts? I know plenty of successful women that pay for themselves on a regular basis, but if a man offers that is just a gentlemanly thing to do. Sometimes they accept & sometimes they don't. I believe it started back when woman were not allowed to work & had to stay home & practically be slaves to their male counterparts.
Since then a lot has changed, but it still seems like a nice gesture when a man takes a woman out & gives her the treat of not having to cook a meal or pay for it. Most people that still do this are somewhat old-fashioned, but still it is very endearing & shows that they care.
Yes, women have fought for equal rights, but let's be honest... we will never really be equal... because society adjusts itsself to people's modern beiliefs & desires. Personally I wasn't involved in the fight for "equal" rights, & I think that's unrealistic. If I was around during that time I would have fought for "women's rights" but not "equal rights". There is a difference. Men still control most of the media, and frankly I believe that men still have very much control over the way most woman think, because a lot of woman work so hard to turn themselves into the image that man has created as the "perfect woman". It's a sad state of affairs.
But you've got to give it up for those sweet guys that still want to make a woman feel special. Men would be nothing without women, & it is your job to treat us with respect. We have sacrificed alot for you. My guess is that you are too young to realize how important the woman in your life have been to you, & you have no desire to show someone how much you appreciate them.
FYI- That can also come across as cheap & inconsiderate. If you don't want to pay the bill then don't pay it & move on to someone who believes in the same things that you believe in.
As for the sex issue, if you give it up just because a man pays for the date, that makes you a whore. If you are the man & you expect it just because you paid for the date, you are just as bad.