I have a friend who has to talk to his ex because he has a child with her. But when he calls to talk to his daughter to see what she is doing, where she is, and how she is doing the mother takes away the phone and tells him not to ask his daughter questions regarding her whereabouts. The father responded saying that he just wanted to see if his daughter was doing fine and where she was at. Why are ex so mean when children are involved?
2007-02-27 19:26:26 · 8 answers · asked by Josh 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Sadly, this happens a lot. And the only thing that will happen later on down the road is the child will figure out how mean the mother really is to her dad. The child should not have to hear the argueing constantly like that. She should have the right to choose if she wants to talk to her dad or not.
I'm not sure if there is anything you can do about it, but it is a horrible thing to let a child witness this behavior.
2007-02-27 19:33:07 · answer #1 · answered by impossiblemama 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you mean that he is asking the child where the mother is? Or the whereabouts of the mother?
I can tell you that my friend is going through this too. And she gets very upset because she feels the father is checking up on her - he left her and has a girlfriend. But he manipulates her - turns up and makes comments to her (the mother) in a "So you went out to dinner with a "friend", did you?" type of thing.
She feels as though she cannot have any sort of life without the ex knowing about it, whereas he has a "private life" - his words, used when he doesn't want the kids around.
I would have loved my children's father having an interest in their lives, but not if it involved him snooping in mine. There were enough power games in our marriage and I was glad to be free of him, even though it wasn't my choice.
The key is to have respect for each other, but then, if they had, they probably would never have broken up in the first place!
2007-02-28 03:57:56 · answer #2 · answered by True Blue Brit 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not all the ex are. I'm not, for instance. I'm divorced, but I've never ever been mean to my ex-husband, first of all because I he's a great man, and then because I love my son more than my own life and I believe he needs his father. So, I never even thought once of pulling them apart from each other; they have a great relationship, they see each other whenever they want, and not according to a' divorce sentence'. They can be together anytime they wish and if there's something I can do for my ex, I always do it. He has another woman, I have another man, yet there's no spite, no hatred, no disrespect between us, and my son is a very happy kid because he always knew that his parents did actually love each other a lot once upon a time and that they're still there for each other, although separate. A child needs both parents, needs their love, and needs to know that his parents don't hate each other. Those ex who behave in a mean way to their ex, using their kids, are just selfish valueless women who don't deserve to be called mothers, because 'Mother' is the one who puts her child's happiness before EVERYTHING. My ex-husband happens to ask abot me too when talking to his son, but that doesn't bother me, why should it anyway? It's just a way to have a conversation with his son, to be a part of his world, and his world is my world since he lives mainly with me; so I really see no need to make such a big fuss about a father asking questions.
2007-02-28 03:56:42 · answer #3 · answered by Love_my_Cornish_Knight❤️ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't ask the child where the ex is. You need to ask the ex. The child should not be envolved in the two adults riff or adult situations. This is why the ex gets nasty. Wrong thing to do.
2007-02-28 03:41:22 · answer #4 · answered by joi w 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not everyone is that way
but you should talk to your Friend and let him know that asking the child questions is a way of putting the child in the middle
2007-02-28 04:33:25 · answer #5 · answered by debrasearch 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Why are ex so mean when children are involved? " Not ALL of us are..so you can cut the stereotyping and the generalizations...if it is an ex of someone you are phucking then the problem is with HIS ex...no EVERYmans ex. I WELCOMED phone calls from my ex to our daughter...he lived less than a mile from us he could call her he could have come visited her, he COULD have taken his visitations but it was HIS choice not to. Now tell me again about how MEAN us Ex' wive's always are and how we KEEP our children from our ex husbands?
2007-02-28 03:34:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
your friend should hire a lawyer because he has every right to know his daughter's whereabouts.However if he signed off his rights then there is nothing anyone can do
2007-02-28 04:13:03 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well with me i know i am a b*tch to my sons dad but that is because he ruined our family with cheating and all that BS and he gets mad and says i am mean to him for no reason nut i still havent gotten over what he did to me and i don't think he deserves for me to be nice to him right now, he has yet to earn that, i am nice to him around our son and we act like nothing is wrong we wait till our son is gone to start arguing
2007-02-28 03:59:04 · answer #8 · answered by Jeremysmom05 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋