when a adult male and female go out say for dinner noadays who pays for the date?

Question

i havent dated anyone for several years but have recently started dateing again i was wondering if i should be paying for some dates and how does this get detemened. (i am female) when i dated my late husband he ussually paid

Answer 1

I think the bill should be split. When the check comes take out your money, if he insists on paying then you let him but I think it is very polite to atleast make the attempt.

Answer 2

"Whoever asks for the date should pay."


This is a great example of the female double standard. How many women have actually asked men out? And yet you can hear this excuse from women on a daily basis!

Let's look at it this way -- when two women go out to dinner, does the one who asks pay? No, they usually split the bill. The same thing happens when a woman goes out with a man who's just a "friend" -- each pays an equal share.

But the second that sex enters the equation, the woman expects to be paid for. This is nothing less than whitewashed prostitution

I say be differen't ...Offer to pay for the date but dont insist. Some men will be uncomfortable with it but a lot will appreciate your gesture.



And for ricketyouoldbat
"It costs more to be a woman" Or "Women don't have the same kind of money"

try getting a date without an expensive house, an upscale car and nice clothing.

For Hunting Wabbit below..

"If he doesn't pay for you, he is a cheap loser."

I love this one -- pure sexual blackmail. It just proves that what women really want is cash.

Answer 3

This is a difficult one, I guess it depends on the age of the man you are dating and his ability to pay. Traditionally it was the male but with equality and all it has become a minefield, my advice it to be totally upfront and say when you're asked on a date, I havent dated for some time is this a traditional date or dutch treat. That way you know exactly what is expected. I dont believe you have to sleep with the man just because he paid sadly there are some people in society who think you do, that part of the date depends on the choice you make at the time and you do not need to feel coerced or pushed into it, that part of your life is special and shuld remain so, if your date doesnt agree then decided if you really want to be dating this person.

Answer 4

I'm assuming you like the person you are to go out to eat dinner with. If the man asks the woman out.. He expects to pay. (BUT never get caught short. Bring enough to pay for your dinner, just in case. and I would bring cab fare too if there is an emergency with the car). Now in return. The woman might ask the man to dinner at her home for a house date. OR the woman might pay for tickets to a movie and then have desert or meal later at her house. ladies usually don't have the same money to spend as men but they can provide a really good date by doing their own cooking. I had a friend that liked canned movies and so do I, so he would rent the movies and I would have the makings for sandwiches and coffee. (always a cookie in the jar too).

Answer 5

What a load of crap you're getting.

As an older dater (no offense) it is perfectly acceptable for you to be treated to dinner. Frankly if you're dating a guy who CAN'T or WON'T pay for dinner, run. Most single older guys have plenty of money for dates, and don't think dropping 40 or 50 bucks on a woman they like is a big deal. If it is a big deal to them, RUN.

If you were younger and neither person had money, it might be different, but let him try to impress you on the first few dates. You could offer to pay something, it would be a nice gesture. If you really want, insist on picking up a couple of drinks before dinner or dessert after.

And NO, you don't have to sleep with him simply because he bought dinner. OMG!!

Answer 6

I would recommend to the male that he plan to pay. I would recommend to the female that she always be in a position to pay her portion. The rules are blurred these days, some women want to pay their half or pay for it all. Some men are confused and do not know what to do. Some men are cheap @sses. Some women have no problem with the man paying. I haven't dated in quite awhile and really would not know what to do. I assume that in my age group that the women would be acceptable to me paying and I would always be prepared to pay. As I look at my rambling I wonder if I helped, hope I did. It just isn't real clear these days.

Answer 7

I believe you should pay your fair share unless he insists on shouting.But then again if you have decided that will be the only date you'll go on with the person then you shouldn't lead them on. The male paying is so old fashioned. I especially think you should pay your own way if your at an expensive restaurant or have ordered something expensive off the menu. If your interested it also lets them know that.

Answer 8

In my personal opinion, the person who asks for the date should be willing to pay. However, these days, you might feel more comfortable just discussing it with your date when you make the arrangements, before you arrive at the restaurant.

Answer 9

You can split the check, especially at the beginning of the relationship. In my opinion the person who asked the other person out should pay. And just because a man pays for dinner doesn't mean that the woman has to sleep with him, that's stupid, we should be more mature than that. Anyway, don't date men who think like that.

Answer 10

there are plenty of men out there who still pay, so there is no reason you should waste your time with a loser who wants you to pay even half. when the check is dropped off, he should pick up the check without skipping a beat. if he kinda looks at the check, and then looks at you, and is hesitant... or worse, outright asks you to pay your half; i would suggest picking up the check, and then throwing out his number when you get home.

gamer - while i don't believe in sexual blackmail, i am comfortable with the fact that it is a double standard. the world if full of them. even tho i'm a career woman who would like a clean house with dinner waiting on the table for me, doesn't mean i'm willing to support a house husband. i'll live with my double standard and make my own dinner. you really think women should take a stand against double standards and pay for their own dinner? he he that's cute. i'm sure you'll make some lucky lady a happy lesbian. i'm just kidding! there are women out there willing to pay for their fair share... i just think they're suckers. ;)