Is it haram to date if you're a muslim? I've noticed that muslims dating has become the norm especially here in USA and if so then whats the boundaries...example:anything and everything except for sex?
2007-02-27 18:02:45 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
In Islam pre-marital relationships of any kind between members of the opposite sex is forbidden. However, as with all major religions, there are those who tend to be rather lax in many of their ways.
Dating is a process that occupies a great deal of your emotions and tempts you physically so fast that you don't realize what hit you. The process spins out of control and becomes very hard to control. The real challenge to your faith starts when your attention shifts away from the needs of your soul to the needs of your body.
A pair can develop both an intimate physical and social relationship together. The physical part is as simple as holding hands and evolves into hugging, kissing and other forms of sexual relations. What's the bid deal with a little kiss or hand holding?
You are occupying your mind with powerful emotions that do not help you in growing your soul. The challenge of submitting to God and working righteousness becomes harder and less active in your mind as you become increasingly attracted to your mate with your thoughts, emotions, and time.
Although you may use good arguments to comfort your mind that your actions are harmless, your soul feels the energy that is being taken away and becomes weaker and more vulnerable. Time and attention you give to your emotional attachment is the precious strength your soul needs to grow. Increasing your physical and emotional contact happens naturally since your convinced mind can't hear the weak calls from your soul.
God instructs all of us eligible bachelors and bachelorettes to maintain our chastity until marriage (5:5, 23:5-7, 24:30-31, 70:29-31).
What is the alternative to dating? There is another world outside dating that is even more rewarding for your soul and emotional needs. Once you place your trust in God's system, you can see everyone from the filter of true friendship. There will be no pressure to impress others, to change your ways or act differently.
You can be a free spirit enjoying the company of people you meet without expectations or desires. You can start having many meaningful friendships instead of spending most of your time with only one person.
You will experience the beauty of this diversity, the fun of having many different personalities in your life and the blessing of a strong social network in the time of need. These friendships will be there for you and last through times of difficulty. Most importantly, you not only save emotional energy, you gain even more strength from your friends; strength that you need in your path of submission to God.
If you are eager to start a relationship or are in a questionable situation now, make your intention clear that you desire only friendship and avoid situations that trigger your physical or emotional urges. Spend your time in larger group settings or in a family environment.
Avoid one-to-one encounters until you know deep inside that the relationship is clearly friendship. Even then, it's always better to involve your other friends when you want to do something. You know what they say, "the more, the merrier."
You are not missing the boat by not dating and thinking you will never meet that "dream" person. Your boat is in perfect condition and is not going anywhere without you.
Place your trust in God, have patience, and stay firm in your commitment to purity. When it is time to enjoy the blessing of marriage, you will know why you stayed single for such a special occasion.
In other words, no dating unless is is group dating with no sexual touching or involvement.
Sadly, many Muslims are yielding to Western ways. I see it in Egypt as well as in North America. But it is still wrong.
2007-02-27 18:05:39 · answer #1 · answered by Noor al Haqiqa 6 · 4⤊ 1⤋
It's like this, an Islamic law is first based on the Qu'ran, second the Hadith, third is law and reasoning.
What is againts in the Qu'ran is sexual intercourse outside marriage, and stuff leading to it. Like alcohol. That's forbidden too.
So, you can't go on a date because it might lead to stuff that might lead to that.
But, what if you can prevent that?
Then there is nothing wrong about it. You can hang out with a girl, as long as you don't do anything to her.
2007-02-28 02:09:11 · answer #2 · answered by Adia Azrael 4 · 5⤊ 0⤋
yes its forbidden to date ...words may have sexually effects too...but if u mean by dating two people who are getting to know each other in order to get married or see if they are suitable for each other i think that is ok ...but if u mean dating like having a gf when u are in high school or something and are not willing to get married any soon so this wouldn't be the right thing to do even if it is common
2007-02-28 05:31:01 · answer #3 · answered by me 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is forbidden........But unfortunatly muslims don't follow it properly......And make their ways out for their own comfortand get relaxasion.....even in my muslim country its soo common that now it doesn't look bad even !!thats why i always say never judge islam from muslim's acts ! a girl and boy should not date for the reason they love each other etc........yes for other reasons like if they are doing job togather and go out for some projects etc........its okay !
2007-02-28 02:18:29 · answer #4 · answered by ★Roshni★ 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Fear Allah!
A relationship is a sinful relationship, even if it is only by correspondence. Marriage is something that Allaah decrees and guides a person to.
“And whosoever fears Allaah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty). 3. And He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine. And whosoever puts his trust in Allaah, then He will suffice him” [al-Talaaq 65:2,3].
2007-02-28 02:11:07 · answer #5 · answered by Jo 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
too many have left the path of the sunnah, for them are their deeds and God is best of judges.
A pious Muslim will not date, and is impermissible for a Muslim man to be alone with a non-mahram girl(relative).
People do not have adequate knowledge of the Sunnah
1628. `Uqbah bin `Amir (May Allah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, "Avoid (entering a place) in which are women (uncovered or simply to mix with them in seclusion).'' A man from the Ansar said, "Tell me about the brother of a woman's husband.'' He replied, "The brother of a woman's husband is death.''
[Al-Bukhari and Muslim].
1629. Ibn Abbas (May Allah be pleased with them) said: The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, "No one of you should meet a woman in privacy unless she is accompanied by a Mahram (i.e., a relative within the prohibited degrees).''
[Al-Bukhari and Muslim].
Commentary: This Hadith strictly prohibits Muslims from meeting a non-Mahram woman in seclusion without her Mahram, in order to avoid the temptation to commit the sin of adultery and fornication.
Allah, the Exalted, says:
"Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things).'' (24:30)
"Verily, the hearing, and the sight, and the heart, of each of those ones will be questioned (by Allah).'' (17:36)
"Allah knows the fraud of the eyes, and all that the breasts conceal.'' (40:19)
"Verily, your Rubb is Ever Watchful (over them).'' (89:14)
1622. Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) said: The Prophet (PBUH) said, "Allah has written the very portion of Zina which a man will indulge in. There will be no escape from it. The Zina of the eye is the (lustful) look, the Zina of the ears is the listening (to voluptuous songs or talk), the Zina of the tongue is (the licentious) speech, the Zina of the hand is the (lustful) grip, the Zina of the feet is the walking (to the place where he intends to commit Zina), the heart yearns and desires and the private parts approve all that or disapprove it.''
[Al-Bukhari and Muslim].
This is the wording in Muslim; Al-Bukhari wording is a bit short.
Commentary: Seeing, listening, walking, etc., are means of committing the sin of fornication and adultery, but they have been termed so metaphorically so that every Muslim saves himself from them. If he does not try to save himself from them, his desires will find support from the private parts of his body; that is, he will incline to immoral acts. If he keeps himself away from the means of fornication and adultery, his private parts will crush his desires, that is to say he will be saved from immoral acts. This is the reason it is said that one should avoid glances, smiles, salutation, conversation, promises and then meetings which occur by stages on one's way to fornication and adultery.
Peace Be With You
2007-02-28 02:21:08 · answer #6 · answered by onewhosubmits 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Its not prohibited you can date pre married to discuss with other if you are adult but it has some limitation as you have mentioned in your question
2007-02-28 02:33:51 · answer #7 · answered by Akmal Zaidi 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋