My daughter is four years old and she is adopted. I really do not like it when people mention that children are adopted because to me, blood relation doesn't really mean anything and I do not like to differentiate between biological children and adopted ones though this may cause a problem in my family because I fear that my daughter will feel left out and as if she is inferior to her sibling just because she is not blood related to any of us. I, of course, will not differentiate between any of my children and will love and treat them exactly the same. I hope there will be no problems but I do know children are jealous of their younger siblings for a while, and i hope that blood relations will have nothing to do with it. I also hope racial reasons won't have anything to do with it because my daughter is of a different race. I hope she will not feel like we love the new baby more just because he will look different (race) and because he is our biological child.
2007-02-27 17:35:01 · 14 answers · asked by fromanawithlovexo 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
tell her that she's getting a new little brother or sister, and include her in the preparations for the new baby. explain what the role of a big sister is, and what she'll be able to do when the baby is there... i doubt the kid will be upset, unless you focus your attention away from her and chose favorites.
2007-02-27 17:39:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The only way she could feel inferior is if YOU or the rest of your family made her feel that way. I know a number of adoptees who have known all their lives they were adopted into their families and never once felt inferior because their families didn't make them feel that way. When someone asks you how many children you have would you say "one and one adopted?" I don't know about you but I'd say I have two children. As for different races...again the only way one is going to feel different is if the family MAKES them feel that way. If the fact that your adopted child is of a different race than the rest of the family was going to be an issue WHY would you adopt a child from a different race? That said...hopefully you have been honest with your adopted child and she knows she IS adopted.
2007-02-27 20:59:26 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, congrats! Second the adopted child
needs to know that Mom and Dad wanted her first. Let her know people who have children often have several because they enjoy kids and want a big happy family. Se will figure out she is adopted, but the best thing to do is get her excited about the little brother/ sister.
Next, and this is important, you need to explain this to her. Many cultures {Jewish law OT, Roman etc} hold that an adopted child belongs to the parents for life! "We have you because we wanted you, your birth mom gave you up because she loved you and knew a loving set of parents could love you and give you a better life than she could. You are twice loved! And you will have a sibling that loves you and looks up to you. Kids are resilient, if you have no issues she will not either!
2007-02-27 17:45:13 · answer #3 · answered by Roll_Tide! 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Congratulations!
I would treat it like nothing other then a typical new brother or sister. Get excited like any other family would with a new child on the way. While the differences will be easy for everyone else to see, but to your daughter your new child will just be her brother or sister. That's the beauty of children--they don't "get" it because of their innocence.
Later though it may be an issue but help her embrace who she is and show her what a valuable member of your family she is. Blood or not she will have this sibling through thick and thin and that's all that matters.
Best of Luck!
2007-02-27 18:08:30 · answer #4 · answered by .vato. 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
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2016-10-16 22:26:20 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For your adopted daughter, you must inform her of her birth, whether or not it was legitimate, her parents history and look forward to her wanting to find her birth parents. As she grows, your family must show her she's loved and a full partner in your family with all her "adopted" siblings being treated fairly in health, wealth, and social issues. Your husband must be the real patient person to explain the racial differences to his colleagues and partners who are judgmental.
2007-02-27 18:51:13 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just make sure that at the right age, she knows she has been adopted and let her know that it makes no difference to you. As for people, tell your family not to mention that, it's not okay. In the meantime, just continue to show your unconditional love to her.
2007-02-27 18:12:53 · answer #7 · answered by Sofia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just make it fun and positive. She is going to be a big sister. Let her pick out the babies clothes, let her help you bath the baby. Read her a story when it's feeding time. Just include her. Can she choose a middle name?
2007-02-27 17:46:30 · answer #8 · answered by biancajh 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have special time with her. And always tell her I love you. and you are special. Let her help her with taking care of the baby and let her feel needed by the baby so she feels apart of the new baby life. And make her feel as though the new baby needs her as much as you do. Make her feel as though you would be lost with out her help.
2007-03-02 14:37:22 · answer #9 · answered by Nicole Powell 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
make it her baby to tell her that you all are having a baby and make sure she helps with the baby wash bottles fold baby clothes ect. as long as you make her feel a part of all of it she ill be OK with the new baby and let her know that you chose to have her that you loved her so much that you had to have her and blood wont matter at all
2007-02-27 21:54:34 · answer #10 · answered by debrasearch 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋