I wonder why American children get out of home so immature and definitely not ready for life.Why do you keep them and look after them like hothouse flowers and when they turn 18 you just throw them away on the street and make them find a job,a place to live and cope with life alone but they haven't learned that.Children from European countries go out of home much more mature because they haven't been spoilt and looked after so much and they have been let doing lots of things without being supervised.For example you wouldn't let a 7-year-old stay alone at home for the time after school.In other countries 7-year-ols can stay alone and they make it perfect by the way.If you keep your child like a hothouse flower,then don't throw it away when he/she turns 18.What's the problem if he/she lives with you even if he/she is 30-40 if he/she is working and helping in paying bills etc.?And why is your child-bringing system so holey?
2007-02-27 17:00:19 · 19 answers · asked by Lizzie 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Simple - most Americans don't have some world-spread values.A value which seems to be missing in US is love.I would love my children and I would never want(or ask) them to leave home.They will leave home when they find the true love and decide to move out.But if they don't,why not let them live with me if they have a job?Even if they don't have a job,staying at home or hanging on the streets all day is boring and everyone would prefer to have a job,not for the money,but for the interesting place.Another thing is when you meet a person and he is your friend,would you like to separate with him?To lose him?I wouldn't.I keep my friends and every person I admire close to me because my life is better when I have my friends beside me.I will bring-up my children the way I would admire them one day.My children will be like my friends all their life,I wouldn't pretend to be their God and I will always teach them that the master of their life are they,not me(or anyone else who wants to be).
It doesn't make sense to love someone and want to kick him out of your home.And who says they won't learn how to make it in life if they live in their parents' home?I know a lot of successful people who really made it in life and they live with their parents and their children in one house.
2007-02-27 21:40:09 · answer #1 · answered by Livia 4 · 0⤊ 3⤋
I agree with you in a way. I lived overseas and understood the customs [parenting] a lot more then over here. I feel that in the US we do shelter our children far too much. It seems that we want kids to stay kids forever but really they do need independence. They do need to make choices. They do need to be on there own a bit.
Having a child home alone at seven--I don't really think I would do that. However, I've met many parents who think leaving a child under the age of fourteen home alone is child abuse. I'm sorry but I was baby sitting [after a Red Cross certificated course] at twelve years old. I stayed on my own at ten. Then again there are very different problems in the US then in Europe.
I'm all for teaching my children the fact of life the hard way. My five year old is already doing laundry and helping around the house--happily.
You're right though I find a lot [although not all] of children in America spoiled and too taken care of and it isn't fair to shove a child out of the house at eighteen when you haven't prepared him/her.
In the end people can parent the way they want to. I live securely and happily with my “tough” techniques and I won’t have to deal with my children being unprepared when the time comes that they do move out.
2007-02-28 01:19:18 · answer #2 · answered by .vato. 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes, I wonder why we don't keep our children in the house until they are 30 or 40. Why let them learn about how to make it in the world, when they can stay home, work a minimum wage job and have no lofty expectations. They can play intramural sports in the city league, just like when they were little and you can still go cheer them on and they can go out on Friday night and stay out until 2 when the bars close and sneak back in the house without you knowing, and heck, if they want to stay at the house, then they shouldn't get married or have children until they are well into their 40s, that means an increase in down syndrome, but what the heck, those kids stay for life. You are so right, I agree with you.
2007-02-28 01:36:12 · answer #3 · answered by Randall A 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're here talking about maturity, but I seem to think you are lacking maturity, especially assuming ALL American children are like that. Do you know all American families to be saying that? No I think not. I lived with my parents till I was 18 and moved out, on my own, living in my own place, working a full time job, and being a full time student. I believe I came out just fine, as well as many other people. Why do you say every parent just "throws" their kids out at 18? Parents let their kids stay at home as long as they want, and some do have the kids help pay the bills. And just like ANY OTHER COUNTRY there are those few parents who do want their kids out by 18. So maybe you should get your facts right before you say anything.
2007-02-28 01:08:37 · answer #4 · answered by mrs.russell 7 · 5⤊ 1⤋
What the heck are you even talking about?
Thanks for labeling all "american children". I happen to be "American", but I certaintly wasn't spoiled and got everything handed to me. I didn't turn eighteen and get kicked out of my house when I wasn't mature enough. I actually had a job in highschool so I could pay for my own internet, cellphone, and cable, not to mention everything that had to do with school. I do agree a lot of kids are spoiled, but that's the parent's fault. It doesn't have anything to do with being "american". And I have seen european kids who are more spoiled then what you call "american children". So yeah, enough said.
And any person who would leave a 7 year old at home by themselves deserves to be shot.
2007-02-28 01:36:08 · answer #5 · answered by Annamarie 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh lord please don't tell me my dauhgter is going to be living with me until she is 30 or 40...I want her to have a LIFE! I left home at 16 by CHOICE. My daughter is living with me at 21 because of finances but hopefully she will be able to afford her own place in the not too far off distance. Yeah in other countries 7 years old can stay alone...and in other countries 7 year olds can have sex too No thank you...when my CHILD was 7 years old I prefered to to BE a child. Life is far too short to be so miserable at such a young age. and what this means "And why is your child-bringing system so holey?" I don't even have a clue...see when you post questions on a predominately U.S. board you need to post them so that they can be understood by the people you are trying to communicate with...
2007-02-28 03:27:29 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Leaving a 7 year old home alone is like guaranteeing you'll be buying a tiny casket soon. That's just irresponsible. What do you care anyway, this is our country and we'll raise our kids our way, thanks. I actually ENJOY rearing my children and do not consider them an inconvience. I mean, what's the point of having kids if you're too damn lazy to watch after them, instill your values in them, support them in their life journey, and get to know them as people? They aren't hamsters or wolf cubs, they're children. However, being given every advantage in life, the payoff for the parent is firstly, the regaining of their own freedom, and secondly the pleasure of watching their child come into bloom.
You sure have a rigid opinion on something that appears to not be your business.
2007-02-28 01:32:21 · answer #7 · answered by tiny_dog10 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Not everyone shelter's their children in America.
Having a 30/40 year old at home definately puts a damper on your retired life. I've worked my life so I can have a happy retirement and enjoy it with my hubby. We have aspirations of travelling the world and going RVing and just having the fun we had when we were dating and newlyweds.
Having kids is great. And, raising them is exciting, fun, and challenging. But, my hubby and I and our marriage is first and foremost. My children should be independant just like you said. And, if they truly are they won't be living with me at 40! They'll be living with their own families...
Otherwise, I've failed them. I've done worse than the American that leaves the 7 year old at home alone if my 40 year old son is still living with me...
(If you leave a 7 year old home alone, you WILL have your child taken away from you.)
2007-02-28 01:09:37 · answer #8 · answered by Baby #3 due 10/13/09 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Where are you from anyway? I agree with some of the things that you are saying some children are way too spoiled in this day and age but at the same time they are children and they should be taken care of until 18. I dont know of anyone throwing them out at 18 unless they are lazy bums who dont want to go to school or get a job. Obviously you feel that whatever country you are from is superior to ours in child rearing.
2007-02-28 01:08:05 · answer #9 · answered by mom of twins 6 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Unless, you walk a mile in my shoes how can you know me and my life. How can you make a sweeping judgements about ALL american children and ALL european children. It unbelieveable that you could possibly know my children and their efforts or any that they grew up with. I am proud of all the children growing up in times such as these. The pressures, the emense information to learn and the high expectations of the world for them all. I hope that some day you can grow up and realize that your observations were short sited based on your limited understanding of life and the difficulties that we all must face. Good luck to you on your life journey, it sounds like yours is going to be a long one.
2007-02-28 01:15:44 · answer #10 · answered by Miki M 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋