my niece is fifteen years old, she is currently dating a guy who is eighteen..?

Question

my sister,her mom, really disapproves but i'm not really sure how i feel. what are your thoughts about age difference in dating?

Answer 1

That particular age difference can be bad...we all know what 18 yr old boys are chasing after...........

Answer 2

A three year difference is about right I believe, because girls mature faster than boys, but you have to consider the potential problems w it before she is of age. Since Mom doesn't approve it could be disaster for him.
Everybody is freaking out and acting like he's a pedophile or something but come on, he's a kid too. 18 is NOT a grown up these days no matter what people wanna say. Just because he can go get blown away for his country doesn't mean he is suddenly all mature and adult.
I think he should be judged for who he is and what he's about and it shouldn't be all about a small 3 year age difference, get to know him and see if he's a good guy or just trying to take advantage of a younger girl. And consider her maturity level as well. It's about compatibility more than the age difference. In five years everyone would have a completely different opinion.
I do believe 15 and 18 are too young for anything too serious.
Mom also needs to consider how much more appealing a guy is that has been forbidden, might be a better idea not to get her feeling like a little Juliet being kept from her Romeo. Meet the guy, see them together, then decide.

Answer 3

I had to endure my 13 year old niece LIVING with a guy!!! There was nothing her mother could do as this girl was as strong minded as one can imagine - That was 20 years ago and my niece turned out to be quite conservative actually, with a good job and wonderful family. Teenagers are going to do what they want and if you try and stop them, then it becomes even more of a disaster - At 15 this girl has her principles set, she knows right from wrong. Girls of this age are married in other cultures. I would give your niece advice, but not put restrictions on her. The 18 year old could be the sweetest fellow around. As hard as it is, one must stand back and cross their fingers because this girl is an individual, with her own thoughts and plans already formulated. Hopefully 20 years from now, you will look back and say, that was stressful, but everything worked out okay. Love to you all. Jen

Answer 4

i met my partner when i was sixteen, he's five years older than me and i can tell you that my family was a bit hesitant as well.
I think you should talk to your neice. It's likely that she doens't feel much support from other people right now and you should let her know that you are there for her if she needs you.
I would suggest having a realistic chat to her about having sex too. Age differences can lead to the younger feeling pressured to do things they aren't emotionally ready to cope with. Show her a video, ask if hse has any questions about it, ask if she and her boyfriend are already sexually active and how she feels about it. Parents can sometimes be overbearing about that sort of thing and it's good for kids to have a close adult they can talk to about things they don't feel comfortable discussing with their parents. Often kids don't have this and have sex without knowing the facts and dangers. They pick up a lot of misinformation from the schoolyard and aren't educated otherwise.

As long as both people know what they expect from the relationship then i don't see the problem. It has to be a mutual relationship with clear boundaries and understandings.

Answer 5

wait a while. if they're really in love, it will start to show extremely fast. and if they're not then the fire can't last to long. you wouldn't have noticed if she was 14 dating a 17 year old. it just seems worse because he's 18, and she's still so young. i've been in relationships where he's been 4 or 5 years older than me and they're all been really abusive. trust me, if something bad is going on you'll know about it without a doubt. when your in a physically, emotionlly, or sexually abusive relationship it's really hard to hide it from the people who care about you, and who you care about to.

you can't try to end this for her, that's never the right thing to do. she'll just harden up and become hostile, and that's the last thing you want. and you never know how long it will last, maybe they really were made for each other. just a whole generation apart. you have to give it time and space. when things start going wrong she'll come to you. there's no way to hide something like that.

i hope my opinion helps
=DD

Answer 6

3 years is not that much, since guys are less mature than girls, so an 18 year old guy would be about the maturity of a 15-16 year old girl..........some states the legal age of consent is 15, others it is 16, so she just has to make sure what the age is in her area so her boyfriend does not go to jail, which he can, even if she wants to have sex with him. it would be considered statutory rape. I dont really have a problem with it as far as the difference in age is concerned.

Answer 7

my 15 year old sister was allowed to date a 20 year old. she ended up pregnant and dropped out of school. 15 and 18 have different needs going on. age differences are better later on in life

Answer 8

Age is just a number, but a jerk is a jerk. Do her sister and mom disapprove of her dating, or disapprove of him? (Either way, there isn't much you can do, unless you are close enough to her to have a real talk with her--try not to sound like her mom if you can talk with her.)

Answer 9

the more your niece is told not to see him, the more she will as she believes she is an adult..i to was once with an older person, the more i was told it was bad to see him the more i wanted him, or i thought i did at the time, some how you have to make her think that it is her idea that seeing him is not a good choice, that it is a choice that will hurt her now or in the future. i think it would be a good idea to put her on the pill and explain to her that she must play safe as a boy that age will want more soon even if he says he don't right now, if she is pushed to not see him it will drive her to him even more and maybe do something that she will regret one day.

Answer 10

i think that it depends on the maturity of the female. i am 23 and the guy i am dating is 39. personaly i feel like the guy my age are totally imature. the only thing that they are worried about is fast money, fukn hella females, and going back and forth to jail. if she is a girl who has a good self esteem then she is going to want to be with men who can do something for her. if she has something as far as has something to call hers( a job, a car, dress nice, and carries herself like a young woman) then she is going to attract nothing but older boys because a older boy loves a girl who is constantly tryin to better herself. so u should talk to ur family and let them know to give her a chance, she is going to have to learn from her own mistakes, she is young, and its not like he is 21. remember this for real though and listen good. you guys will only push HER away by disapproving of he guy. even if you dont like him dont talk down on him around her because she WILL rebel on u first before she turns on him, it her first love

Answer 11

girls do mature earlier ( emotionally, sexually , mentally, physically ) than boys, so its not surprising why your niece would go out with an " older " boy...

i think it would be prudent though to impose certain guidelines on these " dates ", it may be that your niece is more mature than her peer age group, but do not forget that she is still a fifteen year old...