question for humans with a smart brain?

Question

1.why do desi men stick up for their sisters 2.why do they always listen to false things their mom sis tell them and always believe their wife is a liar 3. any tips on how to solve this problem with the 2 questions? desi folks have diff advice to other cultures tell the woman to leave her husband so easily so can u give me some nice advice to understand why my husband does this and how do i handle this? he believes his mothers false complaints and fights with me, he needs proof if i say something but if his sis mom say something he right away believes and doesnt ask proof? why?

Answer 1

To avoid conflicts. Because a guy fears that if he starts shouting at his mom for his wife, she may feel lonely and blame his wife for her isolation.

Besides, a guy feels that his wife can understand the things better. Also he expects his wife to respect his parents, no matter how they are. If a women is efficiently able to manage these homely affairs, nobody would insult her. But the problem starts when the lady starts asking for space. I donot mean to say the wives donot need space, but it should disturb the rythm of the family they are in.

Also a guy relies more on his wife than his mother. Finally it's with her that he can share all everything. He would love to see his family respecting and praising his wife. But wants the women to earn that respect. Just because you are someone's wife doesnot imply that you ought to get the respect. That would be a part time respect. Your own character, attitude, and capability to balance yourself into the environment actually does the scoring...

:-)

Answer 2

What is a desi man?
He probably does this because he's been with his mom and his sister his whole life. My mom always used to say,"Blood is thicker than water." I'm not sure of a particular situation, but it seems that he needs to trust you more. You may always have problems with in-laws. Some people get lucky and their in-laws accept them, some don't. Maybe Mom still subconciously wants to be the number 1 lady in her son's life. Maybe, as the other poster said, it would do more good to just say,"I disagree" and move on. Arguing won't get you anywhere.

Answer 3

This is not an uncommon problem in marriage. Perhaps your husband is used to trusting his blood relatives, out of loyalty that has lasted his entire life. He may not yet be mature enough to weigh the evidence when his mother, sister, and you disagree. It is now his job to defend you, not them, but he hasn't figured it out yet. My advice to you is to simply say "I don't agree" without putting anybody down, and get on with acting on whatever decision you have made. If you are right most of the time, it will start to show. Perhaps mom and sis will start coming to you for advice. Good luck.

Answer 4

2 hours ago - 3 days left to answer. - 5 answers - Report Abuse
A)General Issues:
1)You have a balanced mind and that is why you are sincerely trying to seek a solution for the so called problem you face in your life.
2)You respect our culture ,you don’t’want to violate it or the reason you attribute is not big enough to think about western culture and hence your question.
3)Ask yourself whether God(it is a belief and faith) is so unkind to you in the whole of this world and kept you on top of the people who have similar problems?

B)Issues specific to your queries:
1)You have a permanent seat in his(your husband) heart and noneelse.Believe it.
2) He has emotional attachment with his mother and sister since birth (which wives can’t have) and he is unable to come out of the emotional bonding which is much older than you .
3)It is his mind set that he wants to give importance to his sister and mother and hence he is blind to his emotions rather than love.
4)I believe you are having no other complaints in you r family life.
5)Better to befriend your sister-in-law and mother-in- law ,rather than go through the present method which is not yielding the result.
6)Shed your EGO if any and GO with your lady in-mates of your family. You will automatically get another member to support you ,YES,it is your husband. He will be so pleased if you strike a good relationship/friendship your sister-in-law and mother-in-law.
7) Use your ingenuity and face the problem squarely with Love(UNCONDITIONAL ) with out EGO. You will succeed in LEARNING to live w/o problems.
8) Think of Millions of people below poverty line(BPL) and try to be happy.
9) Obey your husband 100% except some illegal or stupid ideas, but in maintaining good relationship in the family everyone has a role.
10) TIME is precious.Don’t waste it on petty issues .They do not understand you but why don’t you understand them.
WISH YOU GOOD LUCK!

Answer 5

ure hubby and sis----
who would one believe-----a person with whom they have been with for 20 years or a person with whom they have been for less than five years?

ure hubby----
desi men have been told (before marriage) every now and then " a wife would come for you....who is going to change things""( in a sarcastic way).so his mind is all geared up to just not change ( even it is for the better). so it is very difficult to make them see reason.

ure hubby and mil------
simply girl jealousy-------you have an object for 25 years or so and suddenly you see someone taking it and enjoying it right before you. you willingly give it away still........one will feel insecure.

pathetically, its all a fight for a single man!!!!


so dear stay cool-----ure husband is mature enough to know what is the truth ....its just that he does not want to take it .....(.can my family do such things? no never.........that is what is going on in his mind). dont try too hard in proving yourself.....if u r true to urself and dont turn to be mean and cunning like others....god will take care.

Answer 6

A perfect man should know very well to balance between both the relationships. He should not only listen to his sis or mom. If he really knows his wife, sis, and his mom very well there can never be a problem. life is so simple for people who understand it.

Answer 7

This is not a problem with Desi man but with every stupid man who listen to other people and believe them with out first confirming by them-self, there is only a small advice to If you really love this man try to build up a good relationship with there relative, may be this started to understand each other

Answer 8

This is a very common problem in india. You only need to have a good image in his eyes by being diplomatic and smart. Do what he likes. And show your work in front of him. When you are in front of him and ur mom in law then make a very innocent face and talk. Remain simple as u are ...but yet smart. Praise or talk of ur mom in law's positive trait in front of ur hubby. THis way he will think that his mom n sis are bad they keep complaining but my wife is gud she is still praising them . Also say to ur hubby after doing even a small act of goodness for them that so wgat that they don't like me...i am the part of this family and they are mine. This way your husband will understand that you are a gud person a t heart and others are hypocrite . Also whenever you have to do something for them show it to ur husband and then do it.
It will surely work. Give a try.....ALL THE BEST.

Answer 9

NXT TIME TALK TO HIM WITH PROOF,which will put u in commanding positiion.obviously r u going to ask ur mother/sis proof for what they tell u.arnt u going to believe them rt away,same is his case.
so the best thing for u is to get proof,eye witnessess of their behaviour.

Answer 10

i don't know why the men belive their moms about thier wifes. but i can tell you i had one that did and put down the law he either stood up for me an dtook over or i was walking out and i wo uld have well he did and we got along better for it. some of them en are stupid.