PARENTS--when you had your first child...?

Question

did it help or hurt the relationship with the person you had your child with?

Answer 1

It depends on how the relationship is before the child comes. If there are problems you might want to work them out, beforehand. And planning on having a baby should be what both partners in the relationship want, you should discuss when you want to start trying- some newly married couples like to wait a couple of years before planning a baby to have time for themselves ,to travel, live carefree, and work on there careers or finish schooling. Once you have a child, believe me, it changes your lives forever. The days that you want to sleep in on the weekends are gone, or sleep period. Or to just get up and come and go as you please are only memories. Having a child is the most wonderful thing in the world, It bonds you and your partner together way beyond just partners or husband and wife, but having a child can be stressful to a relationship. Because there is no longer any privacy or alone time, and most of the focus is spent on the child and the intimacy is put on the backburner, especially when one or both parents work and then there is household duties, tending to the child, and at the end of the day all you want to do is sleep. Some husbands often feel left out when a baby comes because most of mom's attention is spent caring for a crying ,hungry, cranky, newborn. I'm writing from experience, so I had to tell you the truth. Having a baby is the most happiest time in a couples life and their families. But there is so much to work out : Child care, and babysitters who will watch the child when you and your partner wants to get away. Finances, that could also create problems, most couple don't have any problem with finances until the child comes: And mentally and emotionally, can you and your partner handle such a huge lifetime responsibility? Because it's going to be you and your partner sharing the responsibility you have to be on the same page as: How do you want to raise the child? What values and morals do you want to instill in your child? Schools and what kind of education? Just something you should consider, I could of just said yes having a child is so rewarding, and it is but having a child come along with complications too.

Answer 2

If you have a strong relationship to begin with, it will only enhance it. If your relationship is on the rocks or the communication lacks in any way, chances are it will hurt it.
Keep in mind, though, that even great relationships can be shoved to the back burner with the attention that a new baby needs. Always try to find some time with your partner even if it means handing the baby over to grandparents, other relatives or friends. It's hard at first, I know, but you must nurture your relationship as much as that new bundle of joy.

Answer 3

I had my first child when I was 18, the relationship was good for the first while, then the father wanted to keep up his single ways by goin out and drinking so I guess I would say this did not work out for the best for the child in the long run, cause I left his dad.

Answer 4

Since we were married & both of us wanted kids, it wasn't an issue. If I had gotten pregnant while we were dating or to get him to marry me or because I was irresponsible, it would have hurt the relationship to the point of there NOT being one.
It takes two to make a baby, but if ONE doesn't want one or know that the other person is trying to get pregnant & lying about it, then there is NO relationship....
Having a baby is NOT a decision to be made by one person...& when the girl says it was an accident that is just a line of B.S.!!! If she is having sex, she KNOWS if she is taking responsbility to prevent getting pregnant. This whole stupid line about "Well he said this or he said that" is crap. She knows what she is doing & what can happen...

Answer 5

Definitely helped it. How cool is it to look down at that little face and think that we made her together? My husband is a wonderful father, and since our daughter was a preemie it could have been really tough. You do have to be careful to make sure you maintain the connection between the two of you. Just remember that although you gave birth and may not feel very much in the mood that he still needs some special attention.

Answer 6

I know it sounds cheesy, but it did make us closer and more 'aware' of what sort of people we are. Your lives are so different when you have a baby, sometimes not in a good way, and you can see your partners true colours when they have that baby to look after.
I now have four children 10, 8, 7, 1..... I've been married for 11 years and I have seen my husband change so much by being a dad...

Answer 7

It helps you bond because you are a family now but at the same time the lack of sleep can be stressful and there is a lot less couple time and your life as a couple will never be the same again. It is still totally worth it.

Answer 8

I love my partner to bits we had been together 3 months when he talked about children, scared me to death, i told him we should wait he was fine and after three years we then decided and then it happened we had Twins a boy and a girl ready made family, we have been together 13years now and boy has it been tough, both our dads passed away and our twin son was diognosed with severe autism, so we have to be strong and understanding to each other !

Answer 9

mine hurt it before she was born. He left. We were engaged and looking at houses. Then at 2 months pregnant he took off without a goodbye, not a note, nothing.. he just left. That was that.

Answer 10

Jen is 100% right

a baby can not make a bad relation ship better

but it can make a great relation ship better