Recently, I have begun to develop a nagging suspicion that God's insistence on abstinence before marriage is little more then one of his cruelest jokes.
While it certainly is noble for those individuals who can attract that interest of the opposite sex to make the conscious choice to wait until marriage to consummate their love, there are others who abide by this edict, not by choice, but because we are, and will never be, able to attract the interests of the opposite sex. Such individuals, including myself, were cursed, by God, with physical defects that make us absolutely unappealing to women and make Gods requirement of pre-marital absence seem more like mockery.
It just seems cruel that God would insist on abstinence before marriage knowing that he has created individuals who do not have a choice in the matter and will likely never be able to find a woman who is willing to love them.
2007-02-27 16:11:29 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Back in the day, people married to have children. Looks often didn't factor into the equation. If you were fertile, that was good enough.
People who were unattractive and could not get a mate often became monks or disciples. They too had a role in God's plan. Today, this still happens.
I'm attractive (sorry to sound elitist) and I have chosen to wait. And I'm 25! Thank God I'm getting married soon! ;)
My advice to you is that men don't have to be attractive to get women/a wife. Society will clearly tell you that money will! ;) Look at Hugh Hefner!
Seriously though, women want a man who respects them, respects himself, and knows who he is. Most women rate personality over looks.
Get out there and find a good Christian women! She knows to look at the heart!
P.S. My fiance is a computer geek who is blind without his glasses. Love him! My first bf was overweight and had acne. Although I have dated the GQ type, it's not what I'm marrying. I like the nice guys! And computer geeks! You CAN find a date. Go do it.
2007-02-27 16:19:20 · answer #1 · answered by reginachick22 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Let me tell you something that might give you a different perspective on your situation.
I am a reasonably attractive women, by all accounts -- I've certainly never lacked for suitors, some of them quite handsome.
The man I ended up loving and marrying has a mild form of Treacher-Collins syndrome. His chin is almost nonexistant and his teeth are a mismatched jumble. Most people would say this makes him "absolutely unappealing to women". When I first saw him I was startled by his appearance and did not find him in the least attractive. But once I got to know him, the "ugliness" fell away and I came to truly love him for the person that he is on the inside. I can't imagine my life with anyone else, no matter how outwardly beautiful.
So yes, it can happen. Not everyone is utterly focussed on appearance.
2007-02-28 00:29:02 · answer #2 · answered by prairiecrow 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The fact that you see physical attributes to be so important over any other factor is a sign of the times that we live in - and it isn't a pretty sign at all.
Such was not always so. There was a time when people actually took the time to appreciate people for who they were, the way that they lived their life, appreciated the others compassion and caring nature, etc.
If your focus is only on those that can't get past a person's looks - the chance to ever build a relationship that would ever lead to anything is nil.
Love is not based upon looks. Gravity has a way of changing them over time.
As it pertains to God - I would suggest that you look up the many types of love and see that what you are focused upon is not the God type of love but more upon a lust which has much to do with just the physical that you are focused upon.
2007-02-28 00:44:02 · answer #3 · answered by Toe the line 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hear you. When we were young , my friends and I thought we should be abstinent until marriage for the sake of God. However, as it turned out, about 4 of us never married. Looking back , I think it's just because we were not very good looking, as none of us even had much of a chance to not be abstinent. I really thought God would reward us for obedience, instead it's been a torture and terrible disappointment. Life is just a lot more difficult if you're not naturally very beautiful and perfect, that's just a fact. It isn't just about "attitude". hang in there.
2007-02-28 00:31:50 · answer #4 · answered by Annmaree 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First, I don't think God ever intended for all of the very human traditions associated with marriage today which includes incredible waiting periods and people choosing to not get married until well into their adult lives. Those who (unlike you, as you claim) choose to hold off marriage are rather doing it to themselves maybe? I don't know.
As for your specific thought of mockery, I don't really think of anyone being unlovable universally to all people. Society has made a bunch of dumb rules about beauty and desirability, but God doesn't see us that way. That's human pettyness doing that. I can't see that as God mocking you. Have some more self-esteem than that.
For myself, I didn't even date until I was nearly in my mid twenties. My social life, though, didn't come together until I realized God must be trying to tell me that I would continue to be frustrated until I learned to love Him first. It all started coming together after that. Sorry--I really don't try to be preachy on this site; I just thought it would help answer the question.
2007-02-28 00:29:56 · answer #5 · answered by SpisterMooner 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Celebacy is a cruel joke, but it's man's joke not God's. Abstinence is the safest means of protecting the young from STD's and untimely pregnancies. Sex is made for the marriage bed for a reason. Children deserve to be raised by a stable nuclear family.
2007-02-28 00:18:39 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
It was not "God" who imposed abstinence - it was the MEN who wrote the Bible and then the MEN who run the church but none of those men pushed or instituted abstinence as a way of mocking you personally.
Regardless of what you think, you have every chance to find a woman who is willing to love you, so get out there and get busy doing it. In case you hadn't noticed, most of the world is NOT populated by male and female supermodels, and that is not God's cruelest joke either! If all else fails you can start out by paying a woman to relieve you of your curse of abstinence....
2007-02-28 00:20:42 · answer #7 · answered by alison k 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Look at it this way, the rate of HPV infection in women of antiquity was probably close to zero even in the days of the hedonistic Roman Empire.
Now, Texas is forcing women to pay $360 for Gardasil vaccinations for middle school age girls because the Governor and the pharmaceutical company are close friends.
Now for the religious part - God blessed sex when he blessed Adam and Eve. God did not intend for man to have sex outside of a blessed marital relationship. However, even if man slips up and has premarital sex - that is not held against him (or her).
There is a woman for every man - Rebekah for Issac, Leah and Rachel for Jacob, Bathsheba for David (yes, David had her husband killed in battle but he repented and God forgave him) and the story of Queen Esther demonstrate that faith overcomes the marriage obstacle.
Even for women who were unable to have children, constant prayer to God resulted in success. God tests people with infertility or singlehood to see what that individual is made of.
2007-02-28 00:20:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Sorry about your defects, but abstinence serves a practical purpose. In today's society, it can aid in the prevention of STD's and unwanted pregnancy. I think some views of overshoot the importance of abstinence, however, it prevents a trip to family planning to get the old penicillin shot to the butt muscle. Personally, I haven't been a true follower of the abstinence school of thought. I wonder why it is so bad to teach masturbation as an alternative to sex or abstinence. It's practical, its safe and its quick.
2007-02-28 00:19:46 · answer #9 · answered by Patrick the Carpathian, CaFO 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
that is silly...why wud God ever play a cruel joke? God's humour is something special and beautiful, more so than a mere human mind who wud find such a sick thing entertaining...if u can see past ur own sick humour perhaps u wud know that..moving on.... abstinence shows a certain respect for God, after all, sex is only for reproducing ok, it is also enjoyable, and it IS for married couples...it was to begin with right? it wasnt just for enjoyment...its to pee out of and make babies with, satan and man have both perverted this and turned it into something wild...the subject is highly over rated....u can turn abstinence into something better than sex ...u can ask the Lord for things and get them, well u can do that without being practising abstinece, but it cud build a stronger relationship with the Lord, just like speaking in tongues, u can edify ur faith thro this aswell
2007-02-28 00:18:02 · answer #10 · answered by AmBiE 1 · 1⤊ 2⤋