My husband's friend and his wife are the nicest people you could meet and have been trying for a baby for years. They recently found out that the wife can not bear children and it broke both their hearts. They looked into adoption and were told that it could take years. They are now looking at other options while they are waiting (such as private adoption). The thing that makes me mad is these people who obviously dont want kids and beat them, or kill them, or just toss them into a dumpster when theyre born. Why is it that some people who are lucky enough to be able to have kids beat their kids or worse, kill them, when people who want kids more than anything in the world and would be the most wonderful parents can not have kids? I know that there's nothing anyone can do to change it. It just makes me sad.
2007-02-27 15:56:08 · 15 answers · asked by Amanda 7 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
I know exactly how you feel, i've being ttc for a long time now,and it's makes me so angry when i see people having children that don't even want them, or like u said some even go as far as killing them, and aborting them not even giving them a chance at life.it seems like every time i turn around somebody is telling me that they are pregnant. and it seems as if 9 out of 10 females that i see are pregnant.it makes me feel so bad that i haven't had any kids yet, i'll be satisfied with just one child. i don't want to seem as if invious but i just feel so bad and i don't think it's fair,because i know that i would make a perfect mom.everybody is always asking me when are u going to have a baby, like it's my fault or as if i don't want a baby. and some people make me feel so bad when they tease me by saying u r never going to have any kids or they will laugh and tease and say i can't have kids, that really hurts my feelings especially when it comes from family members. So i know how u feel it's not fair at all that people who loves kids so much can't have any or is having problems having kids, when there are people having kids eveyrday just to misuse and abuse them.i have never been told by a dr. that i can't have kids. i guess it's just difficult for some peopleto concieve.i want so badlyto have atleast one baby. i'm almost 30 now and me and my husband are so ready to parents.
2007-02-27 16:29:30 · answer #1 · answered by wannabeamom28 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nothing in this life is guaranteed, and on some occasions, some feel "not fair". I am in the same boat as your friends. I am a waiting parent with an adoption agency, and have been waiting since April of 2006.
Most children placed for adoption are NOT planned for. Usually teens or young adults who are not responsible enough to use birth control.
Your friend's wife and I probably share a lot of the same emotions, however, once she realizes that what she "really wants" is to be a parent, it will be easier for her to take those biological bricks off of her shoulders, and dive in to the adoption option full force.
God works in mysterious ways. He will never give you more than you can handle. I like to think of my experience in this way. God made a plan for me to "save" a child, and he gave the birthmother, the strength to carry her baby full term, only to place him/her in my arms for loving care.
No matter what the option is, there will always be suffering, unfortunately. There will continue to be violence towards children, and that is very, very sad. Life is full of lessons....it's how you change your life from the lesson that counts, and yes, I have at times thought it "unfair" (my situation), however, I am so very eager and excited that I know for sure now that a baby is coming my way.
I wish your friends luck! Tell them to be patient, they must give up control. The RIGHT BABY will come to them in time, they'll see.
2007-02-28 08:39:55 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can never worry about what others do in their lives. If you really wanted to help your friends, why dont you become a surrogate? Help them in the adoption process if you can. Things happen for a reason. I am sure that the friends you know now are nice, but you dont know if the woman's mom was taking drugs or OTC medication when she was pregnant with her to cause her to not have kids or you dont know if the woman herself just has medical problems in that area or if she did something to hinder her from having kids. You will never know.
All you can do is try to help. This world is toooooooo big for us to look at the misfortunes of others and compare them to the so-called fortunes of the rest of the people.
Maybe it is just God's will that this couple not have biological kids. They may turn out to be perfect adoptee parents or surrogate parents. You never know... Hope this helps...
God Bless...
2007-02-28 00:03:36 · answer #3 · answered by 100% Woman, yes indeed! 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I often say that people should have to take a test of sorts - and pass with flying colors - to become parents. For those couples who desperately want children and can surely provide good homes, it's a darn shame. I think they are headed in the right direction though and should keep their spirits up with the attempts to adopt. If they truly just want to love a child, it won't take years - just depends on if they are looking for certain specifics.
Don't let your blood boil to much on this though - people can be cruel, heartless idiots and there simply is nothing we can do about it!!
2007-02-28 00:04:59 · answer #4 · answered by momto3 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Life isn't fair - that's a fact. I suppose I'm a person who believes that things happen for a reason, though; maybe that's true, or maybe that's just how I make it through the day, but it's still what I believe. Maybe out there somewhere is a child that doesn't have good parents that is just waiting for your friends to be his/her parents, so that he/she can grow up in a safe, loving environment and be the person that he/she is supposed to become. Who knows what that child can become?
As someone I know once said, "Man plans - and God laughs" :-)
2007-02-28 00:07:46 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, that's life.... Here in the Philippines there's a lot of unwanted babies and it just breaks my heart when I hear news like another fetus was found either floating in the sewers or outside a church placed in a shoebox. It just hurts really bad when I wanted to have a baby too and these people don't even realize the miracle God gave them... We'll never understand why some people just don't have hearts...
2007-02-28 00:09:09 · answer #6 · answered by Yunie 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know it's disgusting. But sh*t happens, and there's NOTHING you can do.
It makes me sick to hear of what people do to their babies, it's got to a point where I don't read the daily papers anymore.
I was told I'd never conceive due to severe endometriosis. As it happens I now have been blessed with FOUR children!
My sister wasn't so lucky, she had an emergency hysterectomy due to the same thing and never had a child.
But you are spot-on with the way it is, damn pity we can't change anything...........
2007-02-28 09:08:08 · answer #7 · answered by Welshdragon 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just let them know that there is a reason for everything. Obviously some little baby (either born or to be born) out there is suposed to grow with them as its parents. Good luck to them.
2007-02-28 00:11:51 · answer #8 · answered by autumnofserenity@sbcglobal.net 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no it is not fair...but god does things for a reason...maybe your friends are meant to help one of those unfortunate kids who get parents that don't give a s*** about them...i know it is not the same as being able to carry a baby but if they want to have a baby that is genetically theirs they could try surrogacy...it is expensive but the results are generally good, who knows maybe they would have more than one baby that way
2007-02-28 00:04:28 · answer #9 · answered by aceanrogers2007 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I feel lucky, blessed for me and bad for other people like your friend. I am a single mom who gets pregnant really easy. I have two kids and worked with a lady that couln't get pregannt. I walked around work really big and pregnant and no man.. I felt bad for her.. but hapy about my baby. It was mixed
2007-02-28 00:06:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋