Do you think a behavioral interventionist is a good thing to use for children with bad temper tantrums?

Question

My 5 year old is out of control with his temper tantrums. I tried everything like getting down to his level to talk to him, time outs, spankings, and taking away his priviliges like watching tv. He out grew my dicipline and became more defiant. Today he throw objects and he hit me today. I'm going to check into a behavioral interventionist, what do you think I should do?

Answer 1

Some children have what is referred to as "Oppositional Defiant Disorder". It is categorized by a child that has uncontrollable tantrums daily that last for long periods of time. There are other things to look for as well---inability to self calm, physical aggression, swearing during ep. If i were you i would definitely seek advice from professionals.
Start with a referral from your family doctor to see a pediatrician. Go armed with evidence of your sons tantrums. Don't let the doctor tell you it will go away. You have a right to be referred to a specialist if you choose.
The Pediatrician will ask you lots of questions...answer them honestly. He won't think your a bad mom. You are a wonderful mom for getting help for your son. He will decide if it looks like "ODD" by using a checklist that you will go over together.
The GOOD NEWS is medication is very rarely an option. If your son is diagnosed then he and you will be given access to resources that will help you cope and him thrive. Use these resources.
By the way, not all problems can be solved Super Nanny style. Your son is probably just as sad and confused about his outbursts as you are. Good Good Luck!

Answer 2

If that is what you feel you need then go for it! It wouldn't do any harm, right?

It seems to me you might not be consistency with your punishments. How long have you tried these discipline techniques for? A few days? A week? A month?

All kids need consistency. If they know every time they throw a tantrum they will be in their room [or whatever discipline you choose] until hey calm down they are more likely to calm down.

Unfortunately, tantrums are a part of the age. Frustration is understandable when little ones want to be independent but just can't. One thing that helped us when we found tantrums to be unbearable was to give children more choices. We were told to pick and choose our battles. A few things that we started doing to encourage independence are: (1) letting our boy have a choice in what he wears daily, (2) letting him have a few choices in breakfast, (3) letting him decide what we have for dinner once a week, (4) letting him have an hour for himself everyday, and the list goes on and on.

As parents, my husband and I were so focused on making sure we taught him what was right that we almost became controlling. Our pediatrician actually suggested this to us and it worked beautifully. All of a sudden tantrums stopped, his self-esteem seemed to soar, and he felt independent--even though we [my husband and I] were still in control.

Like anything though tantrums still come back from time to time. When he does through a tantrum we normally take him into another room and sit with him until he calms down [he has FAS so he's a little different--he's not biologically ours] but we do not try to add more conflict so most of the time we just ignore it. Luckily we've only had one tantrum in public and that's when we left.

Kids need consistency and they need a little understanding. I'm not a behavioral interventionist but I do know about this kind of stuff from experience. I hope whatever you decide it works out for you and your family! Best of Luck!

Answer 3

Try this...you may have to do it a few times for him to take you seriously but you have to be CONSISTANT for it to work. When the fit starts: Calmly tell him to stop. Count to three slowly telling him to "get control and stop." Use a firm, calm, strong tone...do not yell. If he doesn't stop pick him up and put him on a chair or corner of a couch out of the main area, but visable, and calmly tell him "When you are done let me know." and walk away. Do not communicate with him again until he is done. If he gets off the chair put him back on and walk away again. He will stop. It may take a while the first time. It may take a while the second time. But if you stay CALM & CONTROLLED it will work.

He is only 5...and probably doesn't understand himself why he gets so worked up. And then when you join in by yelling, spanking, taking away things it just makes it worse. And how can you really talk to a 5 year old. They just don't have the vocabulary or understanding....You just need to stay calm and out of his frustration. Don't feed it. Hang in there...it will get better!! Good luck & best wishes.

Answer 4

My son use to be a terror, I read some great books with creative ideas that worked, they are by James Dobson, they are


Dare to Disipline

The Strong Willed Child

and Parenting Isnt For Cowards.

Answer 5

Since it seems you're not in control of this situation, then YES! GET some HELP! If you're afraid of this kid when he's 5, you won't have a prayer of a chance when he's 15.

"Time out" and "getting down to his level", among other psycho-babble crap, were just a waste of time....and where is this kid's father? (or, should I even ask?). Nope, you haven't tried "everything"....but you missed your first chance to be The Authority Figure in his life. I wish you better luck next time around.

Answer 6

Get the book "Super Nanny, How to get the best from your children". It is written by Jo Frost from the ABC show.

Answer 7

my sister tried that what a joke and waste of money it was. but what your experiencing didn't happen over night so nip it in the bud now it will only get worse

Answer 8

Yes, you should get some help because it sounds like it will get worse. Act now.

Answer 9

thats a very good idea, better safe than sorry