My two year old boygot kicked out of day care cause he's too wild??

Question

He had my wife in tears today when she called to tell me, he screams yells, refuses to cooperate or participate or respond to any guidance I only get him to slow down temporarily by taking him to his room and closing the baby gate and let him scream it out, he takes toys from other children usually cars and trucks, and he will hit and bite. My daughters are not like this, but we have an older son who is biologically my wifes by a previous relationship who had severe emotional and behavioral issues due to being born with a genetic anomally i.e. xyy syndrome, however when we had our baby boy checked this anomally was not present, and our older son has not been in the home since before our youngest was born, so there couldn't be any copycat behavior, so there is something else going on... I was a wild little guy as well, and I am afraid for my son...please advise. I would be so grateful.

Answer 1

First of all, I have known several kids who have been kicked out of daycare! Its not that unusual although of course it is very stressful.

There are different styles of daycare, maybe he would benefit from a Waldorf or Montessori style daycare. Definitely talk to your doctor about this. You can read books like the Spirited Child.

At two you can give him time outs and you can start to do things like a sticker chart with a sticker for every day he does not bite.

And since you were a wild guy too, you know that he can turn out ok! Since it sounds like you are a good dad, not too wild these days. :)

Answer 2

I don't believe the syndrome is the cause for either child's behavior. Are you aware that 97% of the British male population have this genetic abnormality? They are not barbaric...

It simply is a disciple problem. I understand the scream it out method, I've used it on my son also. However, you also need to teach him there are consequences for his actions. If he throws a toy the toy gets taken away. I don't leave my son somewhere and hide I sit there and ignore him if he throws a fit. If he hits his sister he gets a time out. My son is only a year old so he gets them modified and a sit where you are...he hates to made to sit. Put your son nose in corner or up against a wall for a time out. Make him stand with his toes at the baseboards and hands at his sides.

Please, do not use this genetic abnormality as a copout. And, do not let your wife do it either. If both boys have the same problem there is obviously an underlying behaviour problem that needs to be addressed before it gets out of hand. If your son is two and getting kicked out of preschool once he gets into elementry school they will have him on Ritlin in a heartbeat (and that is unnecessary).

Be firm and consistant. If you start the time outs and get fustrated and feel they aren't working and give up you are enabling your son's behavior. Once you get past that "it's not working, nothing is working" then you will see real results.

Trust me!! My 12 month old was giving me a hard time after a grueling trip to India (40 hours travel time, and 12 hour time difference). By being consistant with timouts and consequences I saw a change after two weeks. Then, at four weeks I started reaping the benefits. It takes time :)) But, it's worth it in the end!!

Good Luck to you and your wife. You'll need it (it's hard discipling our little ones) ;-P

Answer 3

First of all kicking a two year old out of daycare is observed. You just describe half the population of two year olds.

I do know where you and your wife are coming from as our son has some problems in these areas as well.

If there is a presence of Bi polar or other dissorders in the family this could be what is happening to your child. If you have tried traditional methods and nothing seems to be working then you need to start getting your child help now. He could be showing early signs of just about anything.

My son has a syndrome and he was born with a condition called craniosynostosis and he showed behavioral problems from the get go. Always crying, didn't chew on things, did not meet his milestones on time. all sorts of things, then the older he got the more aggressive he got. We have tried everything we know to control him, but we are finding it harder and harder to do.

So just get out there get your child tested. Start with the pediatrition and tell him her you are not going to accept the answer he is just being two, you need help.

I am sorry that all of this is happening and if your wife would like someone to talk to give me an address or a 360 page.

Answer 4

Your little one may be too wild, but have you set boundaries for him? Even though he is 2, he can still control himself if he want to. Let him throw his fits, ignore them. Only react if he is hurting someone. Talk to him about things that are going on. Have expectations for him. Encourage and praise good behavior. Point out what your other children are doing "right" in hopes that he will model their behaviors. Model for him how to treat others. The motto where I work for ALL of the children is Take care of myself, take care of my friends and take care of my school. While doing this, the children learn a lot about how to solve problems on their own. Try a more structured school.

Answer 5

Since you have not mentioned spankings, I am assuming you aren't doing any. I raised three children of my own and adopted five others. One nice slap on the bottom with a wet hand and time out to cry alone in a chair while they think it all over, worked for me. And yes the daddy has to do his share of the one quick spank on the bottom and in the 'thinking' chair too. This and any and all corrective action has to be consistant and EVERY DAY 7/24 or it is futile. I congratulate the day care for removing your little maverick because he might have put out an eye of some innocent child who was playing nicely with an attractive toy. (what is a nice lawsuit for loss of eyesight go for these days?) Accidents happen way too quickly with nicely playing children let alone a troubled child. If you feel you can't handle the tough love, go to a child psychologist and let them know you need help! or your child will spend all his learning time in the principal's office. Or-r-r-r-r home with you doing a home learning program. What a sweet thought, no?

Answer 6

I have lived through this, I am sorry for your trouble, it is hard to calm the wild ones, but frequently day care centers and schools are unrealistic in their expectations, look at this, he is two, he is most likely becoming very uncomfortable being away from his parents and his home. He is seeking the attention that he needs, little guys need lots of love, boys sometimes more than girls, redirection can help with the acting out, but a lot is in the response to the behavior, when they are unhappy, something is wrong that they cannot communicate. My best advice is to find someone who will care for him in your home, someone who will spend time with him, insted of time trying to corall him, a lot of how we behave as we get older is determined by our experiences when we are little....he will grow out of it, you can try wild yam, or childrens calm to make sure he is getting the rest he needs, make sure you treat the problem and not the symtom, he doesn't know what is going on either.

Answer 7

http://nbc.com
Super Nanny, or whip his little butt every time he misbehaves. If you don't get this under control right now, your life won't be worth living. Everyone says spare the rod and spoil the child. It hurts as a parent to spank your child, but they simply won't listen to reason. You do what you think in your heart is apporiate, its your life. I see children never being disciplined and the parents are in and out of court all the time. The government doesn't want you to spank your child so when that child becomes a problem teen, then you can pay them to discipline your child. The problem is that by then its to late and the child dosen't respect any one.As children we were disaplined and were tault to speak politely to our elders, it worked for us and it will work for your child as well. Good Luck, your really going to need it if you don't get this child under control. If you and the father buckle down and stand your ground, you can turn this child around in about two weeks.Just don't make false promises, like "Your going to get a spanking when we get home", you have to follow through and stick to your guns.

Answer 8

First have him get a complete check up if he had somehow put something deep enough in his nose or ear this can cause erratic behavior - next have his diet checked for allergens (see a Natreopath) some kids just go wiggy when they eat dairy or refined sugar and if you remove the offending food(s) the child is the child you always knew they could be. I know this is really hard but you and your wife can help your child through this. Good Luck!

Answer 9

are you a man or a mouse? your 2 y.o. is a tyrant,
his escapades will escalate--what are you waiting for? do you imagine he will stop on his own?
pull down his pants down and spank him hard on his butt, [well hard for him, you'll know to what degree] then put him in his room, and speak with a very firm voice, look as if you are angry, do not ever give in, do not linger there! do not compromise! do not argue! you are the boss, period.
assert your authority now.
let him feel that sting, let him be humbled. you were blessed with a wonderful baby, its only been 2 years, what have you been doing all this time?
bible says he who disciplines his son-loves his son,

Answer 10

DEAR
IT IS TIME TO RE SET THE GROUND RULES IN YOUR HOME FOR HIM ASAP AND AS FOR PUNISHMENT A REALLY GOOD SPANKING ON HIS LITTLE BOTTOM FOR STARTS WITH A OPEN HAND WILL DO A GREAT JOB REPEAT IT OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND THEN HIS BRAIN WILL SAY WAIT A MINUTE THIS IS HURTING ME MORE AND MORE WE GOT TO BE GOOD ARE WE ARE GOING TO GET SOME MORE OK TAKE CARE