A couple of days ago, she caught him riding in a car with 4 girls and she got upset and he said if she was going to act that way, to get out and packed her crap and sent her on her way. She has been thru this before with him and everytime, she ends up going to mental health and becomes all anorexic and pale. She loses a whole bunch of weight and then he asks her to come back and she crawls back to him like a beat dog. She cannot eat or sleep. This guy is such a user. He is an alcoholic, has no real job works for a temp agency. He managed to get her to put all the utility bills in her name and now has creditors chasing her. He is 26, married and has a 3 yr old. My daughter was 17 when they hooked up and she is such a pretty girl. How can I help her. Its ridiculous.
2007-02-27 13:49:02 · 15 answers · asked by happydawg 6 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I did not know about him when she was 17. She graduated high school and pretty much did her own thing. I thought she was getting ready to start college. I was suspicious about her 18th birthday when she disappeared and I found out had moved in with him.
2007-02-27 14:58:31 · update #1
Police does not do anything to help you with your kids in this county. They figure if your kid is 17, they cant stop them anyways. She has put me thru the hell of my life and its still going on. I pray for this hell to end every day. Real story would take a book.
2007-02-27 15:00:15 · update #2
Oh the follies of our youth. I once went through a horrible break up as a twenty year old that my family kept saying get over it, even though I tried to get her back. Years later, I realized all the pleading my family made wouldn't have done what going through it did. We learn by our mistakes, or what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. That's the problem.
2007-02-27 18:01:42 · answer #1 · answered by Randall A 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She apparently thrives to be mistreated and needs to gain some self respect and until she does then there is nothing you can do but sit back and let her learn from her mistakes, if she ever does. Why did you allow her at 17 to date a guy that much older then she is? She was a minor at the time and you should have put a stop to it if my daughter had a boy 7 yrs older then her knockin on my door when she was 17 I'd have ripped him a new a**hole before he could lift his arm to knock if you get my drift. And why the hell is she with him while he's married?! She has to know most married men will not leave their spouse for their fling. She'll learn one day give her time really nothing you can do right now since she is an adult.
2007-02-27 22:46:40 · answer #2 · answered by texas_angel_wattitude 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry Mom but you can't help her. I mean you can be there for her to listen if you want but only she can do anything about her situation. Trust me i have seen this many times. As hard as it is to believe she is addicted to this guy and needs to hit her bottom. You can't do that for her. Right now in her mind you know NOTHING about her or her love for him. He has more influence over her in 5 minutes than you do in days of trying. At some point she will wake up and hopefully not much damage will be done. Until then look forward to the day when you can both look back and say " What were you/i thinking!" Good luck!
2007-02-27 21:57:28 · answer #3 · answered by capegirlal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whatever you say, its not going to convince her to break up with him. It will only create a rift between you and her because she will be convinced you are trying to break them up. When he does this again, just let her know that you love her and will always support her. Hopefully she will figure out that this guy is an a**hole and dump him for good. Just be there for her when shes feeling down. I'm sorry but thats pretty much the best thing you can do for her right now.
2007-02-27 23:27:54 · answer #4 · answered by Amanda 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's no way its gonna work out for you if you try to do it the "right" way. So my suggestion is do it the wrong way. Drastic measure. Id do it for my daughter in a second. If his wife doesn't know about her. find her and make sure she knows, get a detective to follow him around and prove to her that he is a dog. ($200) She'll see something that he cant deny, Then if possible. Send her out of harms way. Let her visit her family members in a different state. I know from experience that if you don't resort to drastic measures, it wont end. eventually she will also have his child and it will hurt you even more.
2007-02-27 22:43:11 · answer #5 · answered by JUDAS RAGE 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, this guy doesn't appriate your daughter like he should. this is when you do your part and be a mother let them know enough is enough he won't be coming back and tell your daughter that she have to toughing up their is more fish in the sea and she's a beautiful girl you say, take her out to the club, show her around let her get some new friends. She still young let her live she have a lot to experience.
2007-02-27 22:00:57 · answer #6 · answered by priclis 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's legally an adult, so there's only so much you can do to help. I suggest giving her the number of a women's help line in town. This is an abusive relationship, and you can see that easily.
If you can convince her to cut off all contact with this man and anyone he hangs around, and perhaps even move away from where she would even possibly be in contact with him, that would be for the best. Still, abusive relationship help services are there to help her, and help you deal with this and help her.
2007-02-27 21:59:24 · answer #7 · answered by BDOLE 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This relationship is like an addiction for her. She can't just leave it alone. He's probably abusive and tells her how sorry he is..Blah..blah. She has to want to leave him and leave him for good. She's living in the fantasy that he's going to change. It'll never happen. I feel for you. I was in her situation once. And it was a very long time ago. It's up to her. Just do your best to talk to her and try to convince her that he's a bum. I'm sorry. I know this must be very hard for you to watch your daughter let herself be treated this way.
2007-02-27 21:58:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You cannot make her break-up with him (unfortunately). If you try she will probably be more determined to be with him.
I would suggest doing things to help improve your daughter's self-esteem. What does she like to do? What is she good at? Who are her friends? Pray and pray and hopefully she will realize her self-worth and leave him to live life as a fab single or to find somebody worthy of her.
2007-02-27 21:53:56 · answer #9 · answered by Laura H 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh, mama, she's 17! You can still tell her what she can and cannot do... Keep this girl at home and don't let her see this loser. She's ruining her life over him. I would take away every privilege she has. Everything. Until she learns to stay away from this dog.
2007-02-27 21:54:02 · answer #10 · answered by true blue 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋