Did a 12-Step Program really help you?

Question

My husband and I are trying to rebuild our lives together after a very rough 2 years. I was in rehab last year, left it to soon I now realize. I was doing okay for a while,but have been slipping. I don't really like AA/NA. Maybe it's what I feel is the religious aspect, even though they stress they are not affliated with any religion,or maybe I just did'nt like the groups. I was in private therapy, but quit that also. I know that I need help, and I was wondering how others out there got it.

Answer 1

The question was did a 12 step prrogram help you?The answer for me is a big YES. I must remember though, 12 step programs are not fro peole who need them, if that was the case meeting would have to be held in event centers, coliseums, super domes etc on a regular basis. They are for peole who WNAT them. My level of willingness had to be great enough before it started working.

I have tried it on my own with no avail. I have tried to work half of the program, and managed to get 56 days. They only way it worked was went I FULLY surreneder (step 1)

By admitting I was powerless, and my unmanagablity was more then apparant, I was saying "I don't not have the power, so SOMETHING must" I did not say GOD must or Religion must, but something. THe best part is the "We came to Believe..." part. It did not happen overnight. It was a process.

I am not here to dictate or tell you NA/AA are the ONLY way. I just know that they are the only way for me.

As well, if i look for excuses why meetings aren't for me, I will surely find them (ie, GOD, drug dealers @ meeting, I am not as bad as these people, etc. basically are all Walls of Defense, keeping my Denial strong, and me SICK), rather than focusing on the similarities. What i DO relate to. That these people are here to HELP me, just as they were helped.

Like I said NA/AA is not the only way, It's just they ONLY way for ME :~)

Answer 2

12 step recovery is a great tool and a very integral part of any holistic recovery program. But it should not. Be your sole source of recovery.

But the issue here is the perception of it as a religious program. It is not religious, but rather spiritual. Religion is the external, the ritual, the clothing, the place. Spiritual, on the other hand, us what us within us, the need and longing for something greater than oueselves.

This need is innate within us. We need a power, or something else, in our daily lives. We need leadership, guidance and an authority figure, be it the president, a boss, a parent, clergy, ad infinitum.

So, don't focus on what you don't like bout the 12 steps, but use them as a video and tested tool to support your recovery. 12 steps are flexible on the God issue, so you can be, too!

Answer 3

First I need to ask you: Why did you quit?

There is no magic answer. You just have to get to the point in your life when you say "this sucks" - where you are sick and tired of being sick and tired.

Surrender and give up. Stop trying to control it. You can't do it on your own. AA's 12 steps have God in several of them, but it is God as you understand him. No one can make you believe in any "God". It is whatever belief in God you have that works. Some people even have GOD to mean "Group Of Drunks".

Let's face it, we've all tried to quit on our own, but we need to surrender and turn our lives over to a higher power for help. Whatever your higher power is, God, group of drunks, Jesus Christ, or whatever, we need to let someone else help us because our way alone was not working, right?

Try going back to a different group. The basic principles of AA are all the same, but each AA group has a different dynamic because every person is different. Dont make a judgement based on the same meeting place.

Try out different ones and find the right one for you. I've been to thousands over 18 years and there are great meetings and bad ones, it depends on the people there.

There is a difference between religion and spirituality. the twelve steps are not a religion. It is a spirit changing program.

Check out this great website: http://www.step12.com/

So that's it. When you've hit your emotional rock bottom and you're sick of screwing up your life, then you'll want to quit. THen get some help and you're life will be much better.

I also went to professional therapy. There again, find a counselor that suits you. Everyone is different. I went for 3 years and wanted to quit after 2 years, she told me no. I told here, oh you just want me to keep going for money, but she said that she gets paid the same amount whether I go there or not. (They were a state funded agency). So I felt like an idiot. But then I kept going and when she finally felt I was ready to quit, I was mad at her! Go figure. But it was the best thing ever.

Drinking was only 10% of our problem. the other 90% was us.

Answer 4

read this book called A Million Little Pieces if you haven't already. It talks about this guys 2 weeks in rehab, and getting out of rehab. The main character was not a fan of the 12 step program and thought it ws bs. I cant say from experience, but I think you have to make decisions and choices and be determined and focused on your goal and you will achieve it.
That book made me want to stay away from drugs and alcohol. On the other hand, it describes the affects of them, which is why they are so addicting.
Remember the long term affects of your decisions as well, and its really up to you what you want to follow. If you don't feel like that plan is working, then stop it.
If you need help, be sure to get it! Its good that you are ready to change your behavior. That is what is important.
good luck!

Answer 5

AA did NOT help, in fact it hindered my recovery. I spent 20 years trying to fit into a RELIGIOUS program with a 5% success rate when what I needed was to get help for the depression that kept me returning to the bottle.
http://www.orange-papers.org/orange-effectiveness.html

AA is most definitely religious, the Second and Seventh District Courts, The New York State Court of Appeals, and the Tennessee Supreme Court have all declared to be at least religious in nature.

I'm not a big fan of Jack Trimpey, but his book, "Rational Recovery: The New Cure for Substance Addiction", has helped many who are trying to go it alone. You may be able to find it at your local public library. If not, you can find most of the info on his website: http://www.rational.org/

You could also see if there are any SOS, SMART, or WFS groups in your area if you want face-to-face support.
SOS: http://www.sossobriety.org/
SMART: http://www.smartrecovery.org/
WFS: http://www.womenforsobriety.org/

There weren't any alternatives to AA/NA in my area; I stayed sober with therapy for depression and online support. I run a group that deals with recovery from alcohol & drugs and recovery from AA that might help:
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/without_aa/

The SOS Yahoo group helped me a lot, it deals more with recovery than AA baggage:
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/sossaveourselves/

SMART has a message board, and I think WFS does also. There is an SOS Women board. All of these are are practical information and support without the religious overtones.

I found that journaling helped. Putting down my thoughts into written for helped me turn vague feelings into a form that could be examined and worked on.

Cognitive behavior therapy is something else worth to look into, it helped me deal with all sorts of problems:
http://www.mind.org.uk/Information/Booklets/Making+sense/MakingsenseCBT.htm

Hope this helps. Keep in mind that the only person that can keep you sober or get you drunk is you. Sometimes I thought I was picking up because someone upset me, but I realized that's just an excuse and being sober helped me find a more rational solution; by drinking, I'd just be running away and hoping the problem would solve itself.

Answer 6

It worked for me....but as above stated it does not work for everyone. I am not a religious person(more of a spiritual person) and my biggest hesitation was due to hearing God being used during the meetings. I had to hit a few bottoms to finally realize that the AA/NA rooms is where I needed to be. And what I also noticed was that I couldnt be forced.... I had to go on my own.

But knowing that you need help is the biggest and best step you could make right now. Being open to the answers to come to you is the next step.

Answer 7

The 12 steps did not work for me. The guy who was my sponsor was a flake. I went to another guy who yelled at me and the last guy to sponsor me never called me back. So I thought well my best thinking got me to where im at? Forget finishing my 4th step and focus on the message at every meeting. No matter what just dont pick up!!!! I ended up running my home meeting and at one point I was doing coffee and liture, Because people flake. I now have 10 years clean and sober and speed has no room in my life. To answer your question I used half of the NA program and made up the rest. Remember fake it until you make it. And by the way my higher power was my GSXR 750 motorcycle there is nothing beter then sling shoting at 185mph, I promise you will feel close to god:)

Answer 8

it is not the religious aspect of the 12 steps, it is the spiritual aspect

in step two it is neccessary to realise how important it is to to be able to accept counsel from someone else, to let go of your power and to know there is a power greater than yourself, to give someone else your power

it is an easy thing to give your power to the substance you have been abusing

it is a little bit different giving up your power to another person; but, in doing so this gets you ready for Step #3

where you encounter the concept of HIgher Power

most would say this is God

my understanding of Step Three is this Higher Power can be anything I am willing to turn my life and my will over to


so: step two deals with a power greater than myself
and step three is all about this higher power i am willing to turn my life and my will over to

some kind of a higher power is needed; because, for so long the substance you were abusing was your higher power: when you woke up in the morning, were you not thinking about when you would 'use' and throughout the day, what were you thinking about? You were thinking about what you had turned your life and your will over to~~~even as you lay your head on your pillow~~~you thought of this substance, this power higher than you

so: you do step one and you admit you have a problem
then you do step two where you realise there is a power greater than yourself
then with 3 you "turn your life and your will over to a Higher Power of your understanding"

Relgious?

Spirituality?

Answer 9

I guess I've did it all.When I went 2 out-patient,the 1st thing I wanted 2 do was get high.I wish u the best.&,may God b w/u.Just believe,that's the key.But,I'm not a good 1 2 preach.The things I've did,not 2 long ago.So,if it makes u feel any better at all.I'm also trying 2 once again make a fresh start!!!*

Answer 10

You have to be ready to give up your drug of choice, and back then, you must have been not ready or in denial. Which happens to alot of people. I was ready almost 23 years ago, and have not slipped once since then. Having some will power and a sponsor helps also. It will be 23 years for me next month, and I would not change it for the world. My choice of drug was alcohol. Choosing to better yourself is the best choice of all, and life is too precious to lose it all.