I feel guilty!?

Question

I have a 2 1/2 year old little girl who is very bright and spoiled, my husband and i were trying for a while and we finally concieved again! The only problem is, is that i feel soo guilty about her not being the baby anymore and bringing another baby into our family. Ive been buying her lots of toys ( bad, i know!) and everytime i look at her i wanna cry from guilt! Does anyone have children the same age difference as my kids will be ( im due in oct )? How well did it work after your second child was born? Does this guilt ever go away?? Please say yes, im tired of crying!:)
p.s.
she'll be three when my baby is born, how do i prepare her for the arrival?

Answer 1

Don't feel bad -- and don't feel bad about crying. I cried all the time when I was pregnant. You should think about how a sibling can be the best thing for anyone to have. Even if you aren't best friends with your sibling, they will likely be the person who is in your life the longest. That is something big and special.

To prepare your daughter you can get all sorts of books like What can our new baby do? and I'm the Big Sister! There are all sorts of new baby books. She probably already has a baby doll, but you can practice with a baby doll. I have a friend and her little girl pretended to breast feed her babies after her little sister was born!

Some people have the baby bring the older sibling a present. So when she first meets her little sibling, give her something special, maybe a little charm bracelet.

Of course the guilt goes away!

Answer 2

That is great, what a wonderful gift you are bringing her. Just like what other people have posted here. My daughter was 10yrs when my son was born and when the last daughter came, the oldest was 11 and my son was only 11month and 5 days old. Even at 10 yrs, I was worried about bringing at new baby into the mix. I was able to include her in things. Granted she was older, but include her on what is age approproate for her. Some hospitals have a sibling classes that would be approproate for her. Check with your hospital if they offer such a class. Reading her books are also a great way to help her prepare. When you start to really show and the baby is moving around, have her fell your belly, tell her to kiss the baby, she might get a real kick out it. A gift from the new baby is a pretty cool idea. I got my daughter a tee shirt and when the last was born, I got him a tee shirt and my oldest daughter a picture frame that says "Me and my little sister". Another thing too is to get one of those baby monitors that you can put on your belly that will allow you to here the heartbeat and the movements, that was pretty cool to.

Answer 3

She needs your attention - NOT tons of toys! Remember, they can only play with one thing at a time.
When you begin showing - let her know what's inside. Let her feel when the baby kicks, let her talk to the baby and then tell her when the baby comes out she can help you with the baby.
When my 2nd child was born (a girl) I never felt guilty but what I did know is that I did not want my first child (a boy) to be jealous.
When ever she was awake, I would have my son sit on the couch, place a pillow under his arm and then let him hold her. He just sat there with big eyes - looked at me and said "Ok, that's enough. Can I go play now?" I was surprised, by his comment, but I was glad he wasn't jealous. Then the 3rd one was born (another boy). When I arrived home, from the hospital, my daughter came up to me and asked "is this my new dolly? Can I play with it?" (the 2nd and 3rd are only 13 months apart). She was like a little 'mother hen' and wanted to do everything. I had to keep reminding her that he was not a doll and it would be a while before she could really play with him. That seemed to satisfy her and then when he reached 6 months of age - she finally began asking if she could play with him again. Once I said "yes", she had her older brother put him in her doll strollers and wagons; then she'd push him all over the house. I always kept an eye on what she was doing and made sure he was ok. He really seemed to enjoy the rides and she just loved him.
Don't ever feel guilty, about having another child. Just get her involved with it all and she'll be fine.
I always thought that if I loved my first one so much - then how was I going to have enough love for another................. I had 3 and I love them all the same.
Now they have their own families and I love my grand daughters (4 of them) very much.

Answer 4

Okay well i have 2 kids... one is 4 and the other is 8 months i thought about the same thing when i was due i thought that my oldest wasn't going to like the baby being in the house. Well i felt guilty too. so i did the same thing. Bought toys... Its not a good idea. Now she wants the toys more than ever. But she is sure a good big sister. Everything will work out.. and Good luck

Answer 5

Gee I think she may be fine but you sound like a mess. Sorry didnt mean to be rude but you are not doing anything to your child. She isnt going to be hurt by a new baby it will add to her life and maybe make her a better person for it. I never felt that guilt so I cant say how long before it goes away. I always figured a new brother or sister is one more person to play with. Quit crying by the time the baby comes she will be three -not a baby but a big girl, a big sister!!

Answer 6

First of all you have to realize that spoiling a child is a form of emotional abuse. Stop buying her toys. Look at this from a different angle. You are going to give her a sibling. The greatest gift of all. She will have a playdate, she will learn so much and create a loving bond. Prepare her for this world and don't look at her as being the baby. She will be the big sister soon, a new role she can be proud of.
Mom of 3.

Answer 7

Just think of what a special gift your giving her.....she is going to be a big sister, a role model and she will surprise you, im sure, with how involved she will be......she will become your # 1 little helper.........this makes her even more important than she already is........not to mention she will have a playmate later on, and having a brother or sister is a wonderful thing for your daughter, its just one more person that will love and cherish her the way you do.......your children will be able to learn, laugh and grow together.........So dont worry too much, if your optomistic she will be too !

Answer 8

that is a great age distance! Just make sure you include your daughter in the baby plans. We told our daughter, we're going to have a baby, this will be your baby too. She was a big helper when her little brother arrived. She would help by getting diapers for us or singing to him... there are many ways to get her involved!

Answer 9

well, i am in the same dillema, and they are going to be the same ages. i asked this question earlier and some of the answers i got were like, just make her excited about the new baby, like it is going to be hers too. and to let her be a helper, like get you diapers, and help pick out things for the new baby's room. although my baby girl is not quite so spoiled, she is jealous, but like my b/f told me, she has eight months to get used to the idea. good luck

Answer 10

Yeah I easily have those days ... some days such as you I in simple terms wanna pass cry in the nook all by utilising myself. the perfect ingredient to do is to easily pass cry and it will make you sense a lot extra suited ... It sound strange yet some days i like to cry it in simple terms releases all of it. do no longer trouble you will possibly sense stunning the following day, that often occurs to me ... i've got self assurance fairly crappy sooner or later and then the following day i've got self assurance like i'm on precise of the international. i'm hoping you sense extra suited. x