My mother has always been mean to me and the family. I tried to ignore this since she rejected my offers for help or discussion and started seeing a phsycologist. The condition only became worse and now - 20 years later - it's still changing for the worse, day by day. I won't ever try listing every awful thing she's done to me, I just want her to stop making my life miserable (I suffer from depression...for years...and one of the reasons is her spiteful behavior) When I try to have a proper relationship, she secretly calls the man (no idea where she gets the phone) telling him not to meet me again or she'll call the police. When I try to get a job, she lies to the potential employer and as a result I can't get one. I have no money to move out so I can be free of her horrible repression and it's driving me crazy. I've even attempted suicide since my dreadful life is too miserable. What could I possibly do?
2007-02-27 12:02:01 · 12 answers · asked by Kim 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I NEVER give her phone numbers but she follows me secretly and goes through my things (she doesn't work nor has any hobbies) She's spying on me just to ruin my plans
2007-02-27 12:02:17 · update #1
how old are you? You sound like your 16.
Get a job, move out and quit talking to her. Quit telling her what your doing. Easily solved.
2007-02-27 12:43:27 · answer #1 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to call up a friend or different family member and move in with them. You need to also get a lock or hide your personal things in a different place everyday. For example, get an old shoebox and hide dirty clothes that needs to be washed on top of it. Or some place where your Mom probably wouldn't dare to look. Also, don't leave any clue on where you are going to be. Don't be talking on the phone or giving any clue that she could use to find out where you are. Or better yet-LIE. Say that you're going to the mall or something and take a taxi or the bus in the direction that the mall is and then when you get there, if she's following you, tell her you are going to the bathroom and then run out of the mall and take the bus to the police station. Explain what is going on. It will also help if you have proof or witnesses who can take your side.
But before you do any of those ideas above you need to talk to your Mom. Tell her how you feel and how you don't want her following you. Tell her that you are trying to work with her here and would appreciate it if she could do the same.
I also think you need to see a counselor about your suicide attempts. Please don't kill yourself. I know that your life is tough now and you're really confused but hang in there. You WILL find a way to get the life you deserve. Just keep holding on and keep trying. Please don't give up yet, things will fall into place.
Good luck!
2007-02-27 12:17:37 · answer #2 · answered by sweetdollツ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are old enough apply for housing through DFACS. They would be able to tell you how to get in an apartment and possibly assist you getting a job. In my state there are programs that provide training and help people get on their feet with education and job training. There is nothing you can do to make another person better so you need to take charge of your life instead. All you can do is take one step at a time to achieve this first talk to DFACS, then get a place to live and next job training or school or both. Have you thought about Job Corp that may be a way to get out from under all this. Do not hurt yourself ever again! You need to talk with a counselor about your depression and maybe attend some meetings of the Families of the Mentally Ill to help you understand what you can and can not do with or for your mom. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
2007-02-27 12:18:04 · answer #3 · answered by phylobri 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you have any relatives that you could house with? Do you need to stay in the area you are presently living or could you move somewhere to be around your family so you can get a fresh start? Sounds like your mother suffers from depression as well and only finds self worth in demeening and belittling others so she can feel good about herself. You need to get out of there and do what ever it takes to make that happen immediately. You need to love who you are and if your mother isn't capable of recognizing how badly damaging she has been to your life, then she is even more selfish than I can put into words. Suicide isn't the answer for you, you need to learn what it is like to live and love and be happy. Please use all the resources you can to make the change.
2007-02-27 12:26:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
She is very unstable and mentally ill. She needs treatment but isn't getting it. You need to move out and live for you. Try a local counseling center and see if they can help you find a place and a job.
You may need to get a restraining order against her. It is tough with her ruining your chances. Talk to a counseler and see what you can do. I would say join the military, but since we are at war that isn't a good option. Too bad because you would get away from her, get paid, save money and a college education.
2007-02-27 12:10:11 · answer #5 · answered by Pantherempress 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey girl,
I feel your pain, and I truly believe that committing suicide is not the answer at all. Their are going to be times in our lives where we feel like we want to give up but let me tell you about perseverance. I can tell you that I once struggled with depression as well as suicide attempts. Once I dedicated my life to Christ I became a completely new person in the way I live and handle the hard times that we seem to have no control over. I advise you to pray about it girl and leave it in God's hands, because he will deliver you. A good bible verse to read is Romans 10:9 I promise you once you accept Christ as your Lord and savior you will be free. I don't mean free from any hard times but I mean free from struggling alone and being so confused. Jesus loves you and does not want you to be in misery. If you decide to take my advice start praying each night for God to reveal himself to you not physically but ask him to help you find truth in him, and I promise you, it will save your life. I'll be praying for you. If you have a bible start reading from Matthew and on from their.
2007-02-27 12:17:47 · answer #6 · answered by Sweetie 07 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is there a friend or other family member not in your home that you could move in with until you can get on your feet and be self reliant?
That is the avenue I would try first. And the further away from her, the better if she is that bad.
2007-02-27 12:09:59 · answer #7 · answered by Slimsmom 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you still live at home? Not much you can do if you still do. When you do move out....move as far away as possible. Break all ties until she gets some REAL help. Only thing I can see you can do. Move as far away as possible. You have to live your life the way YOU want to, even if it means breaking all home ties for awhile.
2007-02-27 12:09:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know you know your mother has a serious problem,and she needs help.Sense she's seeing a psychologist,and this isn't helping her.You need to take your problem straight to GOD in prayer.He is the only person that's going to help you. You must have faith in Jesus,and listen when Jesus speaks it's a soft but powerful voice.Join a church that will take the pressure off of you to.When you tell GOD your problem say in Jesus name.
2007-02-27 12:26:07 · answer #9 · answered by sharon j 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get out now! if you've contemplated suicide it would be better to live in public housing until you can do better than to live in that situation. I can forsee terrible things unfolding if you don't do something... best wishes
2007-02-27 12:50:31 · answer #10 · answered by weezie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋