im fourteen and my sister and niece died i feel really guilty and like its my fault and i have dreams alot about them. they died by my sisters boyfriend (nieces dad) stabbed them to death. i feel guilty b/c i never liked that guy and new there was something wrong with him i dident knwo that was gonna happen but i feel like its all my fault??? i almost even killed my self but i dident and im not going to!!! fo sho
2007-02-27 11:28:30 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
this isnt your fault, you shouldnt feel guilty. your obviously very upset about it. about the suicidal thoughts, maybe you can go to a doctor and get some anti depressants?
2007-02-27 11:35:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok honi you have to listen and get one thing straight...You did not stab your sister and niece..he did! No matter what you thought about him, doesn't make it your fault...Do you think your sister is to blame for not noticing he was a potential killer? I'm sure you don't and she lived with him and probably seen more faults than you did in him. This was completely his fault, it had nothing to do with you...but i think you need to see a counsellor to work through these feelings your having and also to help you grieve because you have been through so much! Go to see your gp about your depression he/she will recommend someone who can help. Try ringing or emailing the samaritains..check out their website:www.samaritans.org.
It's natural when your grieving to go through feelins of "what if?"..esp if the person dies unexpectedly but it's in no way your fault at all! take care i hope you seek help that u deserve!x
2007-02-27 11:41:55 · answer #2 · answered by SH2007 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What you're feeling is perfectly normal. We all go through these feelings as part of the grieving process. Grieving includes: Denial, Anger, Guilt, Bargaining, and Acceptance. There is no particular order one goes through them.
You have had an awful blow. You may want to talk to your parents, a clergy person, your doctor, or a school doctor about support groups for kids in your situation.
You are not alone. I'm glad you reached out and asked.
2007-02-27 11:50:05 · answer #3 · answered by booktender 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It iz definatly NOT your fault. Guilt is something that you usually do feel when someone close to you dies. You always wonder what would have happend if you did something differently or helped more, or really any reason. In your situation it's normal to feel guilty, but truly it isnt your fault. You might not have likes him but how were you to know he would do something like this. No one could have stopped him unless they were there or he told them. Dont feel guilty. You couldnt have done anything. Its done and over with and none of this is anybodys fault but his.
Im really sorry for your loss. I hope you feel better. And plz dont feel guilty b/c none of this is your fault.
2007-02-27 11:41:52 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
NEVER, EVER feel guilty1 I know it's easy to say, but I have the same thing. I told my twin brother that the girl he was dating was a drunk (they were 19) and we got into a huge argument about why he shouldn't be with her, mostly because of her drinking and driving. He got angry at me and called her to come pick him up. I didn't say anything to my dad when he called for my brother because i was so agitated. A half-hour later, we got a call from the police. she was drunk when she picked him up, and missed the hairpin turn down the road, and killed him and two others in the car. She of course, lived. I felt so guilty for not making him stay, for not telling my dad, and for not giving him a ride myself, and thought that it was my fault. I had to realize that if it wasn't meant to be, it would have worked out differently. It is not your fault at all. I'm glad that you had enough smarts to trust your feelings when you said you didn't like him. Girls are usually right when it comes to judging character. I'm sorry your heart hurts. Here, I'll give you one that isn't broken â¥
2007-02-27 11:42:13 · answer #5 · answered by hell hath no fury 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get psychiatric help if you possibly can, and talk about this trauma, or it will haunt you. Since you are 14 you are very impressionable, and being close to this kind of domestic violence is very traumatic----it may affect you in the future.
Some men are violent, there is no changing that. It has nothing whatever to do with you, your actions, or your lack of action. You are not responsible ---- but, you can protect yourself with information, a positive self-image, and common sense. You have a right to live without fear, and in the future, you have a duty to get out of a similarly violent family situation, if it happens to you. Life goes on---make your life a good one.
2007-02-27 11:44:09 · answer #6 · answered by papyrusbtl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont feel guilty. You couldnt have done anything to stop it and f you play the 'what if' game it will eventually kill you inside even more so. It was definately not your fault
2007-02-27 11:47:01 · answer #7 · answered by angellover6056 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please don’t blame yourself for their death. Maybe you had a gut feeling that he wasn’t a nice guy, but you couldn’t have predicted that he’d do such a thing. No one could… all you can do is try to get on with your life and by that I don’t mean to forget about them. But instead try to look towards the future.
Be strong and remember GOD LOVES YOU
2007-02-27 11:40:38 · answer #8 · answered by Jessie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why did he do that? Anyway, it's certainly not your fault...the only thing you could have done is say "I don't like that guy" but you couldn't have predicted that he'd turn out to be a killer.
2007-02-27 11:35:14 · answer #9 · answered by Kim 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I real sorry to hear about what you've went through!!
Feelings of guilt are perfectly normal when you are going though grief or depression.
2007-02-27 14:26:01 · answer #10 · answered by absolutebalderdash1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋