I really need some help but it's a long question...can anyone give me advice?

Question

My mother has always been mean to me and the family. I tried to ignore this since she rejected my offers for help or discussion and started seeing a phsycologist. The condition only became worse and now - 20 years later - it's still changing for the worse, day by day. I won't ever try listing every awful thing she's done to me, I just want her to stop making my life miserable (I suffer from depression...for years...and one of the reasons is her spiteful behavior) When I try to have a proper relationship, she secretly calls the man (no idea where she gets the phone) telling him not to meet me again or she'll call the police. When I try to get a job, she lies to the potential employer and as a result I can't get one. I have no money to move out so I can be free of her horrible repression and it's driving me crazy. I've even attempted suicide since my dreadful life is too miserable. What could I possibly do?

I NEVER give her phone numbers but she follows me secretly and goes through my things (she doesn't work nor has any hobbies) She's spying on me just to ruin my plans.

Answer 1

hire a hitman

Answer 2

What about living with a family member or a friend. You need to find someone to stay with for like 4 or 5 months to save up money to get your own place. Or you could stay with someone for a little bit and then someone else. The farther the better. You could tell your mom that if you can get a job you'll pay her rent and save enough money to move out but dont tell her that. You could try to get a job and tell the place that your mom has a mental illness and you are living with her to help her or something. Get loans and go away to school. Good luck. Hope everything works out for you.

Answer 3

I'm sorry to hear about this destructive relationship with your mother...I too have a not-so-good and unhealthy relationship w/ my mother as well as many members of my family. I've recently been going to therapy and came to the realization that my mother is never going to change. She expects me to be perfect and when I'm not she puts me down - and has damaged my self-esteem and basically ripped any type of foundation from me as a child and I had no nurturing or safety from her as a mother growing up. I had to come to terms with the reality that I will never have the mother-daughter relationship that I wanted - it's never going to happen. And the most important thing is for me to be happy & healthy - despite who my mom is. So...I keep my distance from her and live my life and do what I need to do. I have a relationship w/ her and I don't know if mine is as bad as yours...but I don't spend alot of time w/ her and I don't do everythign for her that she asks...because I put myself first. That might sound selfish but other than that I will be miserable, depressed and constantly seeking for approval that will never be granted. Stop looking for approval with your mom...it's a pipe dream and the harsh reality is she's probably never going to change and you have to make a decision about how your going to deal with that and move on with you life.

Answer 4

Maybe you could go to a half-way house to get away from your mother?

You need to get out because she is obviously going through your things to find those phone numbers.

Contact any hotline you can find that can put you in touch with emergency housing.

Good luck!

Answer 5

Your mother is very ill indeed. you can't change her. I hope you will get some counseling as you're going to have to be very clever and very firm to get away from this. Ask the counselor to help you make a plan and stick to it.

Answer 6

if u need a shoulder to cry on i'm here [e-mail]. hold on call 1800 suicide or 1800 lifenet if things get worst.

Answer 7

Don't give your mom your boyfriend's phone number. Don't give your mom your potential employer's phone number. Duh.