i am 36 and a bachelor and very busy . sometimes a lot of my time is also taken up by coping with blues and why,s and why nots . i have not had sex for 4 years since i have sex only when i am attracted to someone and no one night stands for me and i will not go to a hooker . from purely physical and mental angle is that abnormal . in fact between 18 and 36 i have had two year long relationships with only 2 women and been sexually inactive for the rest of time .
2007-02-27 11:10:58 · 16 answers · asked by atmaram 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Normal in this situation is a relative thing. How do you feel about the situation? What are your other priorities? When it comes down to it, you really can't compare what is your normal to someone elses. You have to find what makes you happy. Note the key word YOU. Now if you feel that you need to start dating, then maybe you should try online, or maybe some sort of speed dating. Then you will get the social interaction that you are looking for.
For the record, sex is great, but it is not worth the stress that you put yourself under to achieve in this. Sometimes sex can make situations more complex and really sticky. You do your thing and you will come into your own....
Good Luck
2007-02-27 11:17:38 · answer #1 · answered by Chris H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are probably "coping" too much. There is nothing wrong with having sex to someone you are attracted to only. It is not normal to go to a hooker. As a matter of fact, its illegal and if you have any class at all, a hooker is not the answer. Hookers are disease infested and desperate for easy money.
Get out there and commercialize yourself. Throw yourself out there and put out your best qualities. Go to a fitness center, to church, shopping, enroll in a class or some kind of extra curricular activity and find someone. You are not going to find a lover being too busy to look for one. I imagine your constant business is a coping mechanism.
Personally, my dream man is someone who has not slept with everything in the country and respects me as a woman. I love a man with a nice smile and a clean body. Thats all it takes for most women.
Good luck.
2007-02-27 19:18:50 · answer #2 · answered by happydawg 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Coping with blues and whys and why nots" could be depression, maybe chronic in your case, and depression can have a serious effect on your sex drive. So can depression meds, though, if you haven't found the right ones.
I think your sex drive is unusually low...but at the same time, that might be normal for you, and you sound like you've been very responsible and moral, only having sex with someone when you're in a relationship and care about them.
2007-02-27 19:44:16 · answer #3 · answered by Judi 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only you can make this call. If mentally you're okay with this, that's really all that matters The fact that you want to make love to someone you're attracted to & care for, doesn't sound too out-of-line to me.
If physically you need a release more often, I suggest you occassionally masturbate. The reason so many speak against this is because masturbation is a totally selfish act. Totally. But I also happen to think there is a place for it.
The thing that worries me more is this 'blues' thing. I know men think it's for wimps, but you might want to check into counselling. There are free or low cost agencies in your community. They ARE good.
2007-02-27 19:20:54 · answer #4 · answered by weddrev 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it's not abnormal. If you're very busy there's not much time to meet someone. Since you can't meet people then it's hard to get close enough to someone to have the intimate bond. I don't see anything wrong with it. Just think of it this way, you're preventing yourself from having diseases that could turn off a great woman in the future! Good luck and don't fret. You'll find someone that's a workaholic and perfect for you!
2007-02-27 19:16:29 · answer #5 · answered by jennisthedude 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't think there's anything wrong with that, uncommon yes but that's it. If you're busy and not wanting to sleep around lightly than it only makes sense. If you get lonely try to make some time to look for a nice woman who you could date, someone who wouldnt mind you having a busy schedule.
Even if it seems like everyone sleeps with everyone these days there are people out there that are like you. I only sleep with men i have emotional attachment to, and my roommate (a male) only sleeps with girls he's been dating for a while.
Good luck :) remember that one day your schedule will be free and open and hopefully you'll have a nice woman there to share the free time with.
It concerns me more that you seem to busy to socialize than you've not had sex in years.
2007-02-27 19:18:37 · answer #6 · answered by attila 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Different strokes for different blokes, I want it every day. If I didn't have a girlfriend I would be spankin the monkey, but hey thtas me you are not as highly sexed so you dont need it as often. That cool.
2007-02-27 19:20:38 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The right girl will come along and you will have sex with her, don't try to rush it, what you are going through is completely normal!
2007-02-27 19:18:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Abnormal, I would not call it, but it's definitely unhealthy to your sex drive and it might bring on a premature sexual incapability.
2007-02-27 19:18:10 · answer #9 · answered by markos m 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why would you feel that what suits you is abnormal ???
you are you.....
if not being with someone unless you deeply care for them is how you feel the best about sex....
don't let anything make you feel guilty about it !
if more people followed your lead, there would be less stds :)
2007-02-27 19:16:25 · answer #10 · answered by gypsy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋