2007-02-27 11:10:28 · 22 answers · asked by Ralph 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Q: So your running through a field in a canoe when your wheel falls off....how many pancakes does it take to cover a dog house?
A: Purple because ice cream doesn't have any bones!
2007-02-27 11:21:33 · answer #1 · answered by ηєvєrmorє 6 · 2⤊ 3⤋
TOP TEN THINGS MEN WOULD DO IF THEY WOKE UP WITH A VAGINA FOR A DAY...
10. Immediately go shopping for zucchini and cucumbers.
9. Squat over a hand-held mirror for an hour and a half.
8. See if they could finally do the splits.
7. See if it's truly possible to launch a ping pong ball 20 feet.
6. Cross their legs without rearranging their crotch.
5. Get picked up in a bar in less than 10 minutes ... BEFORE closing time.
4. Have consecutive multiple orgasms and still be ready for more without sleeping first.
3. Go to the gynecologist for a pelvic exam and ask to have it recorded on video.
2. Sit on the edge of the bed and pray for breasts too.
1. Finally find that damned G-spot.
TOP TEN THINGS WOMEN WOULD DO IF THEY WOKE UP AND HAD A PENIS FOR A DAY...
10. Get ahead faster in corporate America.
9. Get a ********.
8. Find out what is so fascinating about beating the meat.
7. Pee standing up while talking to other men at a urinal.
6. Determine WHY you can't hit the bowl consistently.
5. Find out what it's like to be on the other end of a surging orgasm.
4. Touch yourself in public without thought as to how improper it may seem.
3. Jump up and down naked with an erection to see if it feels as funny as it looks.
2. Understand the scientific reason for the light refraction which occurs between a man's eyes and the ruler situated next to his member which causes two inches to be added to the final measurement.
1. Repeat number 9......
2007-03-05 10:24:26 · answer #2 · answered by glitters 2 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, ''Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?'' When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. ''God Almighty !'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good'' and Mary fell back to sleep.
A while later the teacher asked Mary, ''Who is our Lord and Savior?'' But Mary didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. ''Jesus Christ!'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good,'' and Mary fell back to sleep. Then the teacher asked Mary a third question, ''What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?'' And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Mary jumped up and shouted, ''If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!''
2007-02-27 13:56:10 · answer #3 · answered by *<dEzI>* 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
These made me laugh yesterday:
the funniest blonde jokes
I knew a blonde that was so stupid that.......
* she called me to get my phone number.
* she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "concentrate."
* she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.
*she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.
*she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
*she tried to drown a fish.
*she thought a quarterback was a refund.
*she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.
*she tripped over a cordless phone.
*she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
*she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.
*she studied for a blood test.
*she thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.
*when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.
*when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.
*when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left" she turned around and went home
to ColorfuLa...: I've done it and disproved what you wrote. I CAN do both at the same time.
2007-02-27 12:35:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anna 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
it's kinda long, bare with me.
Giuseppe and maria were on holidays in Canada and they were walking through the forest. Giuseppe turns to Maria and says (in an Italian accent) "Eh Maria, I think it be good if we take home some presents for the kids" "Allright" says Maria...
So they are walking walking walking and Giuseppe sees a snake.. so he picks it up and puts it in his back... they continue on. Maria sees a skunk and she picks it up and puts it in her back. A few weeks later at the airport Giuseppe sees a sign that says "NO ANIMALS ALLOWED ON THE FLIGHT"
Giuseppe turns to Maria and says" oh my God what am I gunna do with the snake?" Maria says " Eh, put it down your pants" So he does. Then Maria turns around and says "Giuseppe what am I gunna do with the skunk" He says " eh you put it down your pants." She says "but what about the smell"" he says... " Eh if it dies, it dies!"
2007-03-06 23:08:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why does a cowgirl walk bold legged coboy eats with hat on
what did banana say to vibrater whatcha shakin for shes gonna eat me
Walrus and Tupperware have in common both like a tight seal
weat thin and lesi ones snack cracker ones crack snacker
Circus and ho house one has cunning stunts other stunning *****
2007-03-07 08:32:43 · answer #6 · answered by Kitkat 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Do you think we should put pictures of missing transvestites on cartons of half and half? If this pisses you off don't let it,it just might save your life someday .
2007-03-07 10:58:04 · answer #7 · answered by MISS K.I.A. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Loved all of them especially the ones from "glitters"----you should be on Comedy Central !!!!
2007-03-05 11:21:09 · answer #8 · answered by jc 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This may not be "hee ha ha" funny - but more peculiar funny...
and, you will keep trying it at least 50 more times to see if you can try to NOT make it happen But you can't!!!
1. While sitting, lift your right foot off the floor and make
clockwise circles with it.
2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand...
Your foot will change direction!!!
I told you so... And there is nothing you can do about it.
2007-02-27 11:21:29 · answer #9 · answered by wonderful1 4 · 2⤊ 4⤋
go to www.bobandtom.com for jokes
2007-03-07 06:35:56 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋