My seventeen year old daughter's good friend died last week. She was in a car accident and it all came as a huge shock and my daughter has been beside herself. She refuses to come out of her room, i hear her crying all night. She won't talk much....she says she's too depressed to even talk to me. She won't eat. I am very worried, I know that she is grieving, but is the much grief normal? Please help.
2007-02-27 11:01:50 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
I think you might need to step in at this point and have a chat with her. Make sure she understands you're willing to listen to her, but even if she's not ready to talk, there are some things you need to remind her of.... for instance, her friend would not want her to sit in her room crying instead of moving forward in life. She needs to understand that the best way to honor her friend is to go on with her own life and be the best that she can be. Of course the grief is fresh and the pain is real, but it would be a disservice to the departed to allow herself to sink into a deep depression. She needs to be reminded that there is no guilt in seeing past the pain to the joy that life still has to offer. She needs to be reminded that her dear friend would want her to be happy and healthy.
Perhaps you could host a get-together for her and her other friends to sit down and talk about all of the good times they had with the departed... a way to focus on the positive. You might also recommend that she fill some of the void by donating some time to a cause her friend believed in (perhaps helping out the local animal shelter or park district).
If you can't convince her to come out of her shell a bit and have a bite to eat, then you'll have to consider professional help.
Best of luck to you and your daughter during this difficult time.
2007-02-27 11:15:16 · answer #1 · answered by sueflower 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes this much grief is normal...for her. Everyone grieves different. I lost my son in JUly 2005 by suiicide. She needs lots of support and she may need some grief counseling.
Look for a support group in your area. Maybe by asking your Dr. Help her think of ways to memorilize her friend. By some kind of ritual. There are online grief groups also.
As her mom, you need to watch her closely, that she doesn't start to feel so depressed that she feels suicidal.Please seek some medical advice.
2007-02-27 19:12:59 · answer #2 · answered by Teresa t 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you know anyone around her age that has gone through the same thing? If so, ask her/him if they would be willing to come talk to your daughter about how they got through it.
Also, try getting some pictures of her, and her friend. Take a notebook and start a scapebook for her. When she is up to talking, explain to her that you started this book for her so she could always remember her. Maybe in the book, write your favorite memory of her and her friend, and call some of her other friends who would hang out with her, and see if they would also like to contribute pictures and stories of their favorite memories.
Also, talk to her guidance counsler at school, if you havent already. He/she would be able to even more.
2007-02-27 19:11:52 · answer #3 · answered by asimpledork 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That sounds pretty intense. I think it would be good for her to see a professional psychologist. She obviously needs someone to talk to about this, but if you have the means, it might be nice to have someone who is familiar with the grieving process in teenagers. Just be sure to tell your daughter that you care and that you know that she needs time to grieve. The only way I coped with something like that was to force myself to live my life - one step at a time.
2007-02-27 19:06:58 · answer #4 · answered by Tiffany 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Several of my son's friends died in a car crash. They were all girls. 5 of them. The school guidance counselor opened up her doors for the friends of these girls. Maybe the school your daughter also would do this for the students who were the girl who died. Ask because this is a traumatic thing for such young people to go through. They need to talk about it. Your daughter needs to talk about it.
2007-02-27 19:11:15 · answer #5 · answered by Pamela V 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I think it is normal. I think she should talk to a counselor. If she was really good friends with her I thinks it's going to take a long time. It would take me a lot longer than a week to start to feel a little better.
2007-02-27 20:00:45 · answer #6 · answered by Ange 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If they're in school, contact the counselors and ask for a referral to a crisis team. They can help you. If she's not in school, call your local crisis line and they can help you make a plan to help your daughter.
2007-02-27 19:55:16 · answer #7 · answered by booktender 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she needs to listen to some old time gosple, this is a time to be sad, yes, but if it continues towards springtime take her to a good pastor, she is probably in shock, usually teens think they'll live forever, she is scared it could happen to her, when she feels better talk to her about all the safe [common sense] ways to help make her life long--and make it count for something.
2007-02-27 19:18:54 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
How sad. How about having a friend or two get together so they can just reminisce about their friend or do something special in remembrance of her such as start a scholarship drive.
2007-02-27 19:11:15 · answer #9 · answered by mom-o-3 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes it is normal she needs some counseling someone she can talk to about this. hope she feels better soon sorry for the loss
2007-02-27 19:06:00 · answer #10 · answered by Jessica 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋