I've met this stunning girl but....?

Question

i'm an alcoholic that hasnt had a drink for a year...i've touched on the subject of drink telling her that i have trouble controlling it.I dont want to tell her too much too soon cos I dont want her to think i have baggage etc...because i havent made a big deal of it she has arranged for us to go out tomorrow and the pressure will be on to drink...it's frightening to admit to myself that i cant do something as normal as this so i'm not sure which way to play it...maybe i could go for a drink and control it now...has anyone ever managed to do this/

Answer 1

order an non alcoholic drink then it may be the right moment for you to explain why you dont drink alcohol anymore and also prove it right then.

Answer 2

I think you are being very foolish if you think it is that easy. The fact is you have admitted that you are an alcoholic, albeit a recovering one. If this girl truly loves you then she will understand that you have a problem but you are dealing with it, especially not having drank alcohol for a year. It only takes one drink to get back to where you were before, believe me many have tried and most have failed. Do you remember where you were with your drinking before and how it wrecked your life? Well that will surely take place again if you think you are stronger than the drink. The best drink for you is certainly the one that stays in the bottle and that your lips don't touch. Imagine what it will do to your future with this girl if you do start to drink again, how long will it last, and how will it end, in disaster I'm sure. I don't need to tell you how many families have beed wrecked by alcohol, my own father died because of it. You should know that you can still have a good time and not drink, the only difference will be that you will remember the good night that you will have and not make a fool of yourself, because one drink will lead to another and then it will all get out of control again. Be strong, tell her your problem, and as I said if she loves you she will support you and admire your strength in not only trusting her enough to tell her, but that you have made a positive choice..Good luck..do the right thing for you.

Answer 3

id encourage you NOT to take a drink or have a drink, if you are a recovering alcoholic it is the worst step to be confident that you can control yourself in that area - especially in a club/pub/party scene. if this girl means alot to you be striaght up and honest by telling her most of the story/past. tell her you were an alcoholic but have stopped for the past year, tell her it has been hard and that you delibrately stay clear of those sorts of places so you have more self control over yourself and there are less temptations, tel her you like her alot but that you dont think you are ready to risk being around a bar like that just yet. when you are certain you can go to these places without having the urge to drink/get drunk, you will know in yourself you wont have any doubts about yourself you will just 'know' it is right now and that you are better. good luck and i hope it works out too with the sheila. if shes a nice/respecting girl, she will understand and wait for you and not pressure you into doing something your not completely comfortable with. being an alcoholic in your past doesnt make you a bad person, it makes you a good person though to realise you did have a problem and do something about it. good for you mate =)

Answer 4

DON'T TRY IT!!!
Explain that some thing's come up & you can't make tomorrow, then in a couple of days sit her down & explain that you've had this problem & you've been strong enough to control it but that this is something that needs continued observance & if she deserves you then she'll support this & not push for you two to go drinking.

You have already done the hard work & realised there was a problem & dealt with it, now you need loving support to control it still. These days it's not so hard to go out & not drink, drive to the events (no one would mind if you decided not to drink & drive) or even just say you don't like the taste of it. No one will think less of you.

Best of luck.

Answer 5

I don't have experience with this because I drink, but I know that people who can't control there drinking will never. You not drinking for a year could set you off. Also will take you a lot less to get drunk after not drinking for so long. It sounds like that you had a problem when you drank. I don't think a year will cure you. I think you will pick up right where you left off. Then again I don't know you. This is just through people I know. If you can't control it then you probably always will not be able to control it. Good job noticeing your problem. Don't throw it away now. Good luck.

Answer 6

i think u have to be honest if u tell her the truth then she cant knock u for that, if say so far down the track she finds out from someone else then there will lost of trust an that aint gud in any relationship be honest and tell her that u have a problem with drink and no u have been on the wagon for a year now to have just one drink will make u want more ur best staying off the drink

Answer 7

is it worth the risk of drinking, getting out of control, behaving like the idiot you presumably were before you quit the drink, ruining a potentially great relationship right at the beginning, just to save the embarassment of drinking coke instead of beer?
if this girl is worth anything, she'll have respect for you. you shouldn't have to tell her anything other than *i don't drink* until you want to. you've already told her that you have problems controlling your drinking, so she shouldn't be putting pressure on you to drink in the first place. if she does, then you have to question whether she is the right girl for you, stunning or not.

*just one drink* is always how it starts again. and why would it be any easier to explain why you are refusing the second drink than to refuse the first?

your sobriety is far more important than a pretty girl on your arm.
DON'T DO IT!

Answer 8

I think you should go out tomorrow and whatever you do,do not drink,stick to non-alcoholic and just be upfront with her,i know if i was her i`d admire you for getting this far and would feel guilty knowing i caused you to take that drink,if you can handle being in the company of others who drink then good for you but if not then i think you need to have a good think to yourself about the sort of people you will be dating,goodluck.

Answer 9

Hey man, no girl is worth losing your sobriety! It sounds to me you're really excited about this girl and that's great! The truth is you do have baggage (we all have baggage), and the truth is she has baggage! My most honest and best advice is tell her what you struggle with and don't have a drink just to look normal!
In the long run this is going to be best for both of you, even if it doesn't work out romantically.

good luck, be smart!

Answer 10

Just be honest and tell her you once had a drink problem. Tell her that you feel you don't want to take the risk of slipping back. Whatever you do, don't even have one drink. It's not worth the risk. The chances are she'll respect you for your determination and courage