How do you handle a 12 soon to be 13 year old boy with his back talking. I believe he is "smelling" himself.

Question

Acts as if he has to have the last word at everything and every conversation. I have spanked, grounded and even taken away a lot of his privelages.

Answer 1

I say, you listen to him. Reach a compromise. My parents never really listened to me, that's why I felt the need to backtalk. Don't even think about spanking him at this age - if he doesn't strike back, he'll be scarred. I've been there, I know how it feels, and if only my parents listened, I would've been a much better daughter and half of the things that happened wouldn't have happened. Don't beat him, either, those memories stay forever and WILL change who he is.

Answer 2

When kids become teenagers, they want time away from their parents. You have to give them space to do what they want to do. If you want to make him stop being stuck up, try bringing him to the mall or something like that and then let him be on his own for a while. Give him some money (not a credit card, maybe $40 cash) and a place to meet you at say 2 or 3 hours later. This will help him realize that you respect him. Give him a little space to grow. It's usually the parents that have more trouble letting go of their little child. So, tell and show that you respect him and realize he is growing up and can't hold onto him forever.

Answer 3

I agree with ceriseclarke. Embarrassment is definitely a way to get him to mind you. The next time he does something, embarrass him. For example, my aunt has taken my cousins to school, got out of the car in a robe without make-up on, and walked them to the front door, shouting how much she loved them, etc. Make sure to be respectful, though. After that, threaten to do it again if he misbehaves and see what happens.

Also, how are you grounding him? Are you just putting him in his room? If that is all, you should take out his TV, games, and anything else that entertains him.

Answer 4

okay to anyone who thinks spanking "ruins" a person i was spanked tons not beat but spanked. i don't think im lost. but one thing is don't just sit him down and lecture him for hours. my dad did that too. i never listened to anything he said there. you need to be not a buddy because your his parent, but definitely a friend. someone he can confide in. take him for a drive and talk with him about what he wants to talk about, or do a night out with him alone just him and you. then talk with him. and if that doesn't help just send him to an alaskan military school. he'll shut up then.

Answer 5

My momma would always threaten to come up to school and embarrass me there. In front of all his friends call him out on something like his untidiness or back talking and tell him that he better watch it or when he gets home there will be trouble.

Answer 6

This may sound cold, but give him a taste of what indifference is. Don't do his laundry, clean up after him, call him for dinner, invite him along for the movies, etc. He has to learn that we need to respect others in order to be respected in our own right.

Answer 7

It may be that he feels like you are still treating him "like a child" and is simply trying to protest his growing maturity.

Sit down and have a heart to heart talk with him. Tell him how the back talk is very disrespectful, not just to you, but to anyone who is in charge of his well-being and safety. If you approach him like a young adult rather than a little boy, he might be more willing to change his attitude.

Answer 8

Catch him at being good, ignore him when he isn't. What he is doing, he probably is doing for attention and he is getting it.

As soon as he is doing something you want praise him, it may surprise him, and it may take a while but it works.

Answer 9

Send him to bootcamp if he gets too out of hand. You have to nip that in the bud, before it's too late.

Answer 10

Ignore it, just walk away