My girl friend of 1 year is pregnet with someone else's child what should i do?

Question

My girl friend of 1 year is pregnet with someone else's child... we have been going out on and off for almost 8 years.. and she is my best friend.. we happened to break up for about a month and she ended up getting pregnet on a one time deal... she was completely sorry about it and we ended up getting back together.. now she is four months pregnet and the guy that got her pregnet is blowing her off. I've always said i would help her out and be there for her... the other day she asked me if i was willing to be the father of the child.. even thou i wasnt... I been fighting with my parents and friends on this.. they all believe i shouldnt do it.. but i feel i should.. because i love her with all my heart... soo answer me this is it right for me to become the dad of a child that isnt mine.. and get involved in this situation? or back off and tell her it's best to just be friends and the real dad should be there?

Answer 1

Please don't become involved with this girl. Do not let people on this site tell you that you are a sweetheart for wanting to take on the responsibilty of another's man child. If you do this you are a spineless wimp and will be looked upon as such. You break up for a month, and she immediately goes out and sleeps with, gets pregnant by a bad boy without protecting herself or giving a second thought about the results of her actions. This is not someone who loves you. Break up with her and she will not waste a second finding another unsuspecting fool to take care of her mistake. We all have to pay for our mistakes. Why should she be any different. Please take a moment to think about your life and what matters to you the most. I assume you don't have kids, meet a lovely girl without kids, someone who can be yours all to yourself and not deeply connected to someone else. No single man in his right mind would jump into this situation. Your family and friends would think that you are crazy, carrying around another man's child, enabling him to be a deadbeat. Men who do this suffer from low self-esteem and do not like challenges's. Women in her situation will not be very choosy, so don't think that she thinks you are so special. She should lean on family and friends, prepare herself for life as a single parent, find that loser guy who knocked her up and make him take responsibilty for his offspring. It would be easier for her to just rely on you, instead of going through the courts and other red tape for child support, but I and your family know that you are smarter than that. Start you own family, it's a beautiful thing.

Answer 2

I don't understand what everyone is fighting about. If you care for your girlfriend, and it sounds like you do, then stand beside her, as she will need your support. Only you will know if you can go down that path. The fact that the child was conceived by another guy isn't such a big deal. She came back to you and now has discovered she is pregnant. So what!? As for being the 'daddy', if you truly love your girlfriend, being there for her child will come naturally. If it doesn't, then you will need to question your relationship with her. Don't pay so much stock in who fathered the child, you both already know that he is a jerk. Let your heart lead you. Your family may be concerned that you are taking on a financial responsibility. They are wrong. That torch will always be the responsibility of the guy who fathered this child. The courts demand this. If you care for your girlfriend, then support her. I would not commit to any marriage until you have this all sorted out. And, even if you marry her, the child will still be the other guys responsibility unless you decide down the road to adopt this child (if the real father will allow it). I wish you luck.

Answer 3

It depends. You have to ask yourself if you can raise this child as if it were your own. Not as if ti were someone elses, your own. If you can't do that, then no, you should not father this child. You could remain friends and be a part of the kids life, but if you can't be what that child needs from start to finish, then don't even start. This question is not a matter of how much you love her, but how much you can love her child.

Think about this also. If you do stay around to be the father but decide you can't handle it, she's going to resent you forever. Then you won't have her as a friend or anything else.

This is all about the kid. Can you take care of the kid financially, emotionally and in every other way. It's a big resposiblity. But if you're up for it, you're in for a big treat! I should know, my wife had a 18 month old boy when I met her. He's 4 now and it's an amazing experience every day.

Good luck!

Answer 4

I think that if you love her, then go for it. The baby is a part of her. Men get with women who already have children from previous relationships all the time. They become step fathers to children that aren't theirs. You're situation is similar. If the real father isn't going to be there, your girlfriend will need some support. Pregnancy is a very big deal on a womans emotions and body. If he has blown her off then she is probably feeling pretty low. DNA doesn't make a biological father a dad. Being there and teaching and loving a child is what makes a dad. Love is the most improtant thing in life, that baby will need all the love he/she can get, a baby is a baby, beautiful and precious, hard work but such joy all the same. If you love her with all your heart as you say you do, then you already love the baby growing inside of her. You'll feel love when you feel that baby kick your hand from inside of her, it is too wonderful. My hubby was very reluctant to love our baby when I was pregnant, then he felt a kick and it was love. You both deserve happiness and if you make each other happy then hold onto that. many prayers

Answer 5

First, how old are you?

My best advice is not to waste your teenage years and twenty-somethings with a woman (who got herself pregnant one month after a break up) and her child (that isn't yours). I can definately say that there will come a time when you regret it.

I have a very close friend of mine who got pregnant at 15, got married at 16, and had her second at 18. She is now 22 and making some really bad choices. Ended up regretting her lost childhood and that she had to grow up so quick. It's so sad watching her make the mistakes I made as a teenager and a twenty something. I know right where it's heading...

The worst part is she left a man who really cares for her. And, her children are watching her downward spiral. They are 5 and 3 and don't really understand what's going on. All the three year old knows is that mommy is gone. She has no concept that she'll come back...the five year old is equally confused. He understands something is going on...but unsure what it is. She recently left them all to live with a guy she's known for all of two months. :((((

And, the kids are the ones that suffer.

I'd hate to see you become like her husband. Watching this girl go in a downward spiral in 7 or 8 years. Meanwhile, you are trying to explain it to the kids.

Love isn't the only thing that makes a relationship work. There has to be trust, commitment, honesty, and communication. A lot of it is sheer commitment to just make it through the bad stuff. Something like a child from a one nighter will be very hard on you in the up coming years...

Kudos to you for being a stand up man. Someone like you deserves better than what your settling for. I only pray that you see that too.

Answer 6

I always like the saying "Any man can be a father, it takes a real man to be a daddy". You and your girlfriend were split up, she did not cheat on you. She never did anything wrong except maybe not be as carefull as she should have. Just because your genes and blood do not match the baby's doesn't mean that you can't be a daddy.

Who cares what anyone else says, do what you feel is best to do in your heart.

BTW it's pregnant not pregnet

Answer 7

You already got involved by getting back together with her after you knew she was pregnant by someone else. By doing that, you inadvertently told her that you accept her situation & made it yours. If you are going to act like this in the future, leave now. Save the child heartbreak later. Do what you want, not what everyone else wants.

Answer 8

If the other man isn't there and you think you can handle it, by all means step up and assume that postition... Even though you aren't the biological father, you can still be that childs daddy... Every child needs one and it seems as if the other guy isn't interested and she doesn't want to pursue a relationship with him... Besides, you all were broken up and it was a one time deal.. she came back to you right? He's not who she want sto be her babys father... you are.. Only do it if YOU feel it's right though

Answer 9

I am anot sure, but you sure are a sweetheart!...She sure is lucky to have a wonderfull friend like you!..You have to do what you feel in your heart,you can not let anybody make this decision for you...do what feels right to you!..If you love her that much, than you know the answer...maybe be a father figure for the baby,but if the real daddy wants to be involved,then she should also let him.

Answer 10

If the real dad cared, he would be there already. Since he isn't, then she needs someone who she can depend on to help with her baby.

It doersn't matter that you aren't the sperm donor, it takes more than that to be a father.

You have to do what sits well with YOU, not what your family and friends who aren't in your shoes think!