Why isn't the parent imbued with naturally occuring unconditional love?

Question

I was just wondering this as a second thought to my other post here: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Ajwd_YxW33UzJszIx7nyaWTsy6IX?qid=20070227034242AANaoIj

A child is imbued with an endless love for their parents. I think it doesn't end for them until maybe they are adult? But some adults it nbever ends. Like, when I read a magazine article about how much a daughter (usually a daughter) loves her mom and can't believe she died, etc. even though the mom wasn't nice or perfect.

Well it seems to me if a parent can love a child unconditionally and at the same time not like the child or how the child ends up being, then that is not the kind of love the child has for the parent. In fact, that is a love of choice. Maybe thats why a lot of parents leave their children or worse?

I was wondering why nature sought to create this imbalance? It made the child needy with an endless illogical love. And it made the parent with a choice. I am not a parent... (more)

But I was wondering how most parents reconcile the gap. And what that is like. I hope someone will share. Thanks.

It just seems the childs entire identity is wrapped up in what the parent thinks of them, even when they are 50 years old. But for the parent that doesnt seem true. It seems like such an imbalance really.

i know the child is motivated by food and shelter, but since he or she is unconcious of those motivations, i think it is therefore uncondtional. they only know the emotional impacts, not the physical ones. they are not calculative. they are acting out of instinct and not greed. therefore that is why i say they are uncondtional. a parent is aware and makes a choice. see?

no there is no fantasy. i am just thinking, as i said before in my last question, because i saw a documentary on gay children coming out. i am not gay myself. the children seemed tortured by their parents lack of love. the parents were indifferent. the parents chose to dissassociate themselves from their kids. the kids were mourning and upset and their entuire lives were wrapped up in thei parents feelings. i dont think teenagers hate their parents. i think the more turmoil in those years, the more love. i think they see that the parents love is conditional and they get upset and act out. usually what you have a teen do is they argue with the parent. they try to have the parent see their point of view. the parent chooses not to. i think thats when they get upset. but they still love their parent.

well i feel bad for those gay kids. i dont know if theyll come to see what i see when i watched them. they seem upset.

Answer 1

There is no imbalance, your premise is flawed. There is no such thing as unconditional love going in either direction. Your perception that this is so is unfounded and unsupported by fact.

That some children love their parents unconditionally speaks to the character of the child and vice versa. There is a new (less than 15 years old) theory which attributes a woman's bond to both her man and her child to a hormone triggered during both sexual intercourse and childbirth but, it is still just a theory. A pretty fine one if you ask me, but just a theory.

Answer 2

Not all children do bond but most do . .
And most of that 'unconditional love' is the basic need to be fed, sheltered and cared for . . .
Most mammals respond to being provided for.
If you think it is unconditional , wait until they hit their teen years.
That will be one giant wake up call for all the fuzzy heads that think kids have "endless love", although some adults get confused and remain clueless . . . and some totally fail in their discipline duties (because their child can do no wrong) and set loose worthless parasitic brats upon society.
There isn't really such and imbalance in nature, just some clueless parents (more female than male) that have a fantasy view of kids. (and I suspect more common in families from America's recent crop of people from the easy financial life . . . the last 50 years in the US).

The real question is how did you get caught up in this fantasy ? I'm guessing you either just had your first child and are economically established or are in the baby craving / clock ticking syndrome ?
I do not know of any single adults that have this fantasy , they seem more reality based .