I have a boyfriend that I have dated for over a year now. He is always there for me and is sweeter than anything on this earth. he lets me cry into his shoulder when i am sad and he calms me when i am angry. well yesterday I wanted to have sex with him but he said he didnt want to go that fast. he said it would be best if we waited and got married, but i dont think i am ready for marriage. What should I do. Though i want to spend the rest of my life with him I dont really want to get married.
2007-02-27 09:45:26 · 12 answers · asked by Christy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
you really do need to talk to him about your feelings. don't lead him on to think that there is a future for the both of you. he seems like a nice guy and those are hard to find. free him for someone else if you don't want him.
2007-03-07 07:29:55 · answer #1 · answered by Queen of the Nile 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you and your boyfriend need to have a serious talk about what you both want out of this relationship. Not wanting to marry him can mean a couple of different things...either you are unsure deep down that he is really the one for you so you don't want to make such a huge commitment, or you just aren't the marrying type. Some people think marriage is a curse...so they just live together...and after seven years they get the benefits of marriage with out the commitment (common law marriage...only some states have that law).
It's important that you really evaluate the reason you aren't sure about marriage. You have only been with this man for a year...and studies have shown that the first five years in a relationship you spend getting to know the person well enough to decide if you actually like them. Divorce rates would probably drop if people dated for five years before marriage. If you do love this man, but aren't the marrying type...you have to tell him and find out his feelings. If he doesn't agree, I wouldn't recommend marrying him just to make him happy, because if it's not something your heart is into you'll regret it. Love is about compromise...he may want to engage in pre-marital sex...and that may be something that you'll have to make a decision about. Don't let that pressure you into marrying him. I've been with my partner for three years...we are not legally allowed to marry, but even if we were we would wait, and like you I know I want to spend the rest of my life with this person.
I hope everything works out for you.
Good luck.
2007-03-07 12:21:49 · answer #2 · answered by LoveBats 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How old are you? I would 'grab on' and 'hold tight' to this young man, because he has more HONOR than most young men, and 'refused' to make love because he doesn't think that 'sex' outside of marriage is a 'good thing.' Your 'wanting to have sex' is probably because you are 'young' and you have 'raging hormones' ... but there is a lot more to life than just your 'hormones' and you need to be 'in control of your hormones' before you'll be 'old enough to get married.'
2007-02-27 18:27:17 · answer #3 · answered by Kris L 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't want to marry him, how do you expect to spend your life with him? The only reason you would possibly want that kind of relationship would be if you plan on having an affair with someone else, outside of your relationship with this man. If that's your plan, you don't deserve to be in a relationship to begin with.
2007-02-27 17:49:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
forget it...if you really like this guy the way you say that oyu do then i dont think that when you have sex matters...cause he has a point....why have it now when you could wait and see what the future is going to be.....i see that you want to take this step but i dont think that either of you are ready...
2007-02-27 17:50:41 · answer #5 · answered by Brooke 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am going to assume that he did not mean that you should get married next week. he just wants to wait until you get married even if that means down the road. i think you need to talk to him about it.
2007-02-27 17:50:26 · answer #6 · answered by bowlinggirl84 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if you want to spend the rest of your life with him then marry him
2007-03-07 17:04:28 · answer #7 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldnt do anyhting you dont want to to. But the same goes for him, and so if he doesnt feel ready for sex before marrrige i would honnor his choice.
2007-02-27 17:53:41 · answer #8 · answered by Lexi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you have a quality guy. if you don't want to marry him, end the relationship and free him up for a mature lady who will deserve him.
2007-03-07 09:48:06 · answer #9 · answered by Cloudy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
find another cowboy ta ride there little missy, that ones been ta too many round ups up on broke back mtn.
2007-03-07 14:46:25 · answer #10 · answered by Gardner? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋