My boyfriend is in jail. We were suppost to get married next month and now he is in jail. He will be in jail until next year. We are very much in love. And we have talked about going ahead and getting married while he is in jail. I need help making this choice... So if anybody could give me your opinion it would be thankful
2007-02-27 09:39:47 · 31 answers · asked by debbie g 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
You have to ask yourself is he worth waiting for. What every he is in jail for will it hurt your future with him. When he gets out will he be able to get a job to provide for your family or will you be the only person bringing home money. Only you can truly decide on your future with this man.
2007-02-27 09:48:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
Come on! Are you seriously asking this? It should be a no brainer. Of course you shouldn't marry him while he's in jail. First of all, what kind of cheesy wedding would that be anyways? Plus, I guarantee you people will laugh behind your back about the whole thing.
Second of all, being in jail can change a person. And a year is plenty of time to change. He may not be the same person that you fell in love with when he gets out. Although he should probably change whatever it was that got him in there in the first place.
Honestly, if you both claim that you love each other, why can't you wait until after he gets out? It's not really like you'll feel married seeing as he'll be in the big house and you waiting at home. Not to mention the fact, is that the type of wedding that you want to remember and have to tell your kids about? Just think long and hard about it all. Take care.
2007-02-27 09:53:28 · answer #2 · answered by sweet thang 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Bad News.....
I would at the least wait till he's out of Jail, because you never know what will happen and why is he in jail in the first place. There's a lot more quality men out there, I'd really think long and hard about this guy and his worth. a Felon is going to limit you both in so many ways, just try qualifying for a home with this guy. It'll be quite a battle for everything. almost to the point as though you were in jail yourself. it may not be fair, but that's life. So I'd say wait it out and marry him after if he hasn't changed and you're certain he's reformed...
2007-02-27 09:53:38 · answer #3 · answered by jeepguy_usa 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should wait and see a lot can happen in a year. Even if he is near by in a local jail separation takes a toll on any relationship. For now you should put it on hold and take care of yourself, go to school on vacation or just do something nice for yourself. Besides when you think about your wedding day do you want to remember being at a jail with a justice of the peace. Usually with that kind of wedding you need to submit paper work and ask for special permission. If you two really love each other you should be able to wait to make it an actual "day to remember" whether it be a big wedding or just a small simple one, I don't think any woman wants a jailhouse wedding. Good luck.
2007-02-27 09:55:05 · answer #4 · answered by pandamgy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it all depends. If he's in there for homicide or for stealing etc., then yes, I suggest you move on. But if he's in there for traffic tickets, maybe he isn't a horrible person. Of course, it doesn't change the fact that he is irresponsible, but if you think you can help him out, then its OK. Look at it this way, if you are embarrassed or the least bit apprehensive about telling people why he is in jail, then, you shouldn't marry him. But, if its a small thing that he could have easily fixed with out jail time, but didn't for some reason or another, then go for it.
2007-02-27 09:51:41 · answer #5 · answered by Yessi H 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I would advise you wait the year until he is out of jail, to think about what he is in jail for and make sure this is the right decision for you. If you have kids and he goes back to jail how are you going to feel? These are all things you need to consider.
2007-02-27 09:52:49 · answer #6 · answered by Dawnita 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Once you are married things become one...his jail experience becomes yours. Listen...no matter how much you love each other..each one suffer his own consequences...
Bad boys myth is really sexy...but a rocky road that will not be happy or normal to say the least....Run with the kindest words you have...do not get mad at you as you love him but YOU should love yourself. Being attached to a jailed person is not very easy...you can't have a lot of things that you take for granted now..like a job...a loan, a lease....a lot.
2007-03-03 05:00:54 · answer #7 · answered by Ariana 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, not while he's in jail. If you want to wait that's up to you. You should get to know him again when he gets out before you decided, you don't state how long he's gonna be in there but people change (maybe him or you or both). I definitely would NOT get married while he's in jail.
2007-02-27 09:49:16 · answer #8 · answered by tenngurlamo 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Don't you deserve more than a man who has already wrecked your lifetime dreams? Life is long, and full of better things.
What plans? Any distraction from jailtime would be welcome to him or any of his fellow inmates. Honey, I have to say that marrying any of them now is going to be expensive, short-sighted, and unsatisfying for you. Is he thinking of you when he joins in with these plans?
I really think you deserve better than a short-term desperate promise. Marriage - what would that solve? Figure out your problems and deal with them before you both commit, or you are both going to feel just as trapped. Surely you want to say that he married you freely? I'd wish for you to wait until he's free to marry you. Good luck, I know it must be difficult and lonely, but that won't change until he's free. It won't be that long before things change. Then you can make real plans, like what jobs he can get, what you can both afford, where you will live.
2007-02-27 09:58:28 · answer #9 · answered by WomanWhoReads 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I did. the same thing happened, we were to get married in dec. but he went to jail in nov. so we went ahead and got married while he was in jail and why not i was going to wait for him anyway because i love him and marriage is for better or worse, except the worse came first so it can be nothing but better from here out.
2007-02-27 14:49:36 · answer #10 · answered by dari98dae99 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋