My mom brought me up this way.I thinks its part the asian culture to critisize your children motivating them to do better in school and other things.This make the child want to achieve and prove themselves to their parents.Well anyway my boyfriend is fat and ugly which doesnt prevent me from loving him on the inside.I contantly remind him that he is fat ect.. and he should take care of himself but this just causes him to get angry.He feels I am doing this to poke fun which is what I am not doing because I dont do pointless things.
2007-02-27 09:35:10 · 4 answers · asked by eurasia 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
Keep in mind that only a very small % of the general population responds effectively to negative feedback.
The fact that you could even talk about your boyfriend as someone who is "fat and ugly" speaks to a fundamentally negative manner in which you perceive your world and surroundings. If I had to guess, I would say that has A LOT to do with the way you were raised. And knowing that what we get back is so often roughly equal to what we give out, you have to ask yourself, do I really want the people closest to me to approach me in a consistently negative manner? Just because this was how you were brought up does not mean that you can't do anything to change it. Wouldn't you rather be surrounded by positive, uplifting people?
2007-02-27 09:49:15 · answer #1 · answered by Chill 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just like you said, it depends on the culture. If he's not used to it, it's going to pisshim off. It would pissme off to here being told I'm fat constantly. I know I am, don't need to hear it from someone else. It works for asians, but not western cultures. Now, if the person was raised that way, it's a whole other story.
The Syko Ward
2007-02-27 17:41:43 · answer #2 · answered by The Syko Ward 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Anything that appears hurtful and demeaning, well, IS hurtful and demeaning. Motivation by putting someone down is contradictory. Think about it. How can you bolster someone into positive action by dragging them down emotionally. It's not effective and the theory you use for it's justification isn't even logical.
This may not be what you want to hear, but, in my experience, and from my perspective, and with my training, what you're doing to your boyfriend will not work out for you in the long run. If he has any scrap of self-esteem, well, you'll lose him soon.
2007-02-27 17:41:08 · answer #3 · answered by K 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are doing a pointless thing, you hack.
You need to stop calling him fat. What the hell is that gonna do? Uh, let's see; make him mad. So stop it!
2007-02-27 17:56:53 · answer #4 · answered by leavemebe_11 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋