for a wedding, do i have to provide a meal, or is something lighter ok too?

Question

ok, i am having my wedding in the next few months, most likely in the summer or fall time, and i am on a limited budget so i was wondering if it's ok to not provide a meal, or would that offend people?
i already have someone who has offered to pay for part of the food as their wedding gift to us, but i have been thinking and i want a simple wedding and he's thinking more fancy, my fiancee and i also have different ideas of what is an affordable wedding for us.
i don't want to bother anyone and cause hurt feelings, or cause them to not give us wedding gifts, lol, but I'm not sure it's necessary to have a big meal.
your answers are greatly appreciated, thank you.

Answer 1

It depends on the time of day you have your wedding. Most of your guests will expect something to eat. If you have your reception at 3pm then it is perfectly fine to offer appetizers in a buffet style setting. It's much cheaper than a regular sit down dinner. Any later and people are going to want to be fed real food. However, then can also be done buffet style, which is also cheaper than a sit down dinner. If you want to have alcohol you can have a cash bar. It's cheaper to skip the free alcohol for other than the wedding toast. Or just skip alcohol altogether and offer sparkling apple or grape juice for the toast.

To offer nothing to eat would offend people and have them thinking that the only reason you invited them was for the wedding gifts. By feeding them something you are saying thank you for coming to celebrate your joy.

Answer 2

If you plan your ceremony at 10:00 am and reception at 10:30 am or ceremony at 2:30 pm and reception at 3:00 pm your timing clues guests into that you won't be serving a full meal. Just have some drinks, and coffee on hand and serve a really nice cake. Then they can go grab a bite after the reception.

Also be sure to take your pictures before the ceremony so that you can transition from the ceremony to the cake cutting with little delay thus eliminating the need for food to be served between the two. Just set out some nice snacks and pretty cookies for everyone to nibble on while you greet your guests before the cake cutting.

I've attended a few weddings of friends who did this and seriously it was no big deal to me. Everyone knew they were on tight budgets and we were there to support them in their marriage, not to eat.

Another had a potluck of sorts where all of the members of their church brought a dish. There was so much wonderful food leftover at the end they arranged to take it to a local homeless shelter.

Answer 3

You know if you do alot of research, you can have a beautiful wedding for not alot of money. If you don't offer any food, you may not get generous wedding gifts..so that is why I am leaning toward offering some kind of food. First of all there are a few ways to go. Try to come to a compromise with your fiance so that there is no friction on wedding plans. You did not mention whether you decided to hire a wedding hall or have an outdoor wedding, but either way, you could cater it, but there are many ways to cater more economically. Do some research and ask some friends if they know a home caterer who does small weddings. Home caterers are very inexpensive compared to caterers who advertise and have stores. Also, purchase your own wine, beer and soda by the case. Check out your home town or ask around to find a person who does floral arrangements with fresh flowers that works out of her home. That floral arranger would be much less expensive and would give you a great deal on the whole package. Wedding gown, look on line for David's Bridal or a discount bridal place that you could get a gown for much less money. If you feel that you don't want to have a sit down meal, then I would go with pre-made sandwiches and salads. You could also have small hordourves, cheese platters, small breads, crackers and a huge fruit salad. This you could cater out too or do this yourself with help from family and friends. Wedding cake could be made by a fledgling baker and cake decorator who does this as a side job, or a young person going to culinary school whose specialty is baking and he or she could make you a wedding cake for a third of the price of a wedding cake from a famous bakery or the wedding facility. Check out culinary schools. Music, if you want live music, check out your local college and they may be able to put you in touch with a great young band who will work for much less money. If not, then get a couple of boom boxes with big speakers and use great CD's with party music. DJ's are good, if you know someone and he is willing to give you a good price. So that is my recommendations to you. I wish you well and a wonderful wedding.

Answer 4

It's fine to not serve a meal at your reception, but one thing to keep in mind is to not schedule the reception during dinner time. This is absolutely key, because you can't expect to schedule a reception for 6 p.m. and not serve your guests dinner. Depending on the time of the ceremony, you can serve a brunch with mimosas and champagne or a light lunch meal that includes limited beverages and either a sampling of foods or something like a simple chicken dish. If you choose the light lunch, you can also consider doing something like an afternoon tea with little sandwiches and finger foods -- this makes things seem a little more formal and elegant without giving it the feel of a smaller reception. Or you can even do a cocktail reception with just hor'dourves. All of these options will help you cut down on costs with food and alcohol, but they will still allow your guests to mingle and socialize on such a special day.

Answer 5

first it depends on what time your wedding will be, to provide something small you will need to have your wedding early or mid afternoon. If you are planning to have a dance then you need to provide something more than cake and punch. It sounds like you your plans are not set in stone at this point so what I would do is have a wedding around 2:00 (they have had lunch and dinner is to far away) Then you will be safe to provide small items like finger foods, or smaller yet it would be ok to provide your wedding cake and drink. A great idea is to have a bbq, i know that back yard burgers will come to your site set up fix hamburgers and chicken with all the fixings (potato salad, brownies) and drink for like 5.00 a person. If you do this you will need to keep the entire event low key, have your bridesmaids in summer dresses and the groomsmen in khakis, and dress shirt instead of tux.You can have something really nice that people will talk about, I had a very formal wedding where I provided chefs that cooked pasta with shrimp or chicken in front of my guest (to their order) and I was on a budget. Because I wanted to dance and have alcohol (i couldnt afford to pay for everyones drinks) I held my reception at a venue that had a bar and requested their be a bartender available to serve my guest. I also went to walgreens.com and downloaded a picture of me and my fiancee and made my own invitations with our picture on them, i also had wal-mart make my cake, the same picture that was on my wedding announcements was placed on my sheet cake, I got married in the fall so there were leaves placed on it from the floral department. I only paid 47.00 for my invits and 36.00 for my cake. This is pc way of doing it, just remember that it is your wedding and noone wants you to go into debt to get married.

Answer 6

You don't need a big meal for a more informal wedding. In some parts of the words, it is actually tradition to just have desert to eat at the wedding. Maybe you could just make a lot of the stuff yourself, or have a BBQ. The only thing you need to think about is that if your wedding goes from afternoon until night, the guest are going to want to eat something substantial. I personally would find it kind of annoying if I went to a wedding and they had nothing to eat. But ultimately its up to you.

Answer 7

Have Hour'Derves and Drinks.

Not having alcohol saves you at least a cool thousand.

If you're not serving dinner, have your wedding in early afternoon, so guests can easily go out for dinner afterwards.

Or rent out a Resturant for the evening, cover appatisers for each table and anything additional the guests can purchase themselves (most resturants will bank on the guests tipping and ordering dinner so they'll probably let you do it).

That or you could have a buffet style dinner (Those tend to be a lot cheaper than a served dinner is).

Whatever you decide, do it because YOU want to....Not because you think you have to....And, pick something that reflects your style, because that's what makes your wedding memorable!

Have FUN!!

Answer 8

Hi first things first its you and your patners wedding so enjoy it but dont let the cost of it get out of hand its perfectly acceptable to have a buffet type meal instead of a sit down meal and to be honest it seems to be more the vogue thing to do these days , if a friend has offered to help with the costs well then accept graciously ,my daughter got married 3 yrs ago and we catered for 100 people at the afternoon buffet it cost us approx £300 but it was great because we had a choice for both vegetarians and non veggies plus slimmers and non slimmers alike great fun and really good value , of course the alternative is you and hubby to be could jet off to the sun somewhere get married abroad and have honeymoon in one job done ..

Answer 9

I am about to get married and I have decided to have light food at my wedding reception rather than a full meal, reason being is that i am on a budget also. I am going to try however, to put every effort in the wedding itself as i can, it only happens once (hopefully)! To me the most important part would be the ceremony!

Answer 10

Sorry but I find it alittle tacky. Just invite fewer people and provide something, but you have to have enough for everyone. Even though you tell people not to give you anything, they will....it's ettique and people like to give. Trust me, if you dont serve a meal than that will get people talking about it for years, especially the older guests and family members. If you want something a little cheaper have an afternoon wedding that wont require much alcohol and it could only be one or two courses.

I agree with the others here that if you decide not to have a full meal you will have to add it to the invitations because some people will be coming with an empty belly, and maybe a change of clothes to grab something to eat after...no body wants to go to mcdonalds in a dress and heels.