can somebody tell the best joke they have?

Answer 1

yeah my Dad! what a doofus (i mean my dad)

Answer 2

Well,girl potato and boy potato
had eyes for each other
and finally they got married
and had a sweet little potato
which they called 'Yam'
Of course they wanted the best for yam
when it was time
they told her about the facts of life.
They warned her about going out
and getting half-baked
so she wouldnt get accidently mashed
and get a bad name for herself like
'Hot Potato'
and end up with a bunch of Tater Tots.
Yam said not to worry
no Spud would get her into
the sack and make a rotten potato out of her!
But on the other hand
she wouldn't stay home
and become a couch potato either.
She would get plenty of exercise
so as not to be skinny
like her shoestring cousins
When she went off to Europe
Mr. and Mrs Potato warned her
to watch out for the hard-boiled guys from Ireland
And the greasy guys from France called the French Fries.
And when she went out west
to watch out for the Indians
so she wouldn't get scalloped
Yam said she would stay on
the straight and narrow and wouldn't associate
with those high class Yukon Golds
or the ones from the other side of the tracks
who advertise their trade
on all the trucks that say 'Frito Lay'.
Mr. And Mrs. Potato sent Yam to Idaho P.U.
(thats potato university)
so that when she graduated
she'd really be in the chips.
But in spite of all they did for her
one day Yam came home and announced
she was going to marry Tom Brokaw.
Tom Brokaw!
Mr. and Mrs. Potato were very upset
They told Yam she couldn't
possibly marry Tom Brokaw
because he's just
Are you ready for this?



Are you sure?














OK! Here it is!



















A COMMON TATER!!!

Answer 3

One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.

The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.

He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.

Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires.

The blonde started laughing.

This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.

This time the blonde laughed even harder.

Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car.

The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny.

The blonde giggles and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"

Answer 4

So this kid named Pacho, his mom, and their cat lived in a cottage all alone. Then One day Pacho's Mom told him,"Your grandparents are comeing for a visit, I need you to buy some bullets." So Pacho went to the store and bought a pack of bullets and went home. Then Pacho went outside to play and when he came home his mom was crying. He asked, "Mommy why are you crying?" Then his Mom answered and said, "Your grandpa farted and killed the cat"


Get it? His mom put the bullets in the food

Answer 5

More of a visual joke.

You need 5 pennies.
Lay the 1st down heads up. Do you smell anything? Its a cent (scent).
Lay the 2nd down heads up. Do you see any fruit? Its a pair (pear).
Lay the 3rd down heads up. Do you see any snakes? There are 3 copper heads.
Lay the 4th down heads up. Do you see any cars? There are 4 lincolns.
Lay the 5th down heads up. Do you see any sex? Well what do you expect for 5 cents.

Answer 6

There was a lady taking a shower and the doorbell rang. She looked out the window. It was a couple. She put on her bathrobe and opened the door. "Aren't you going to congratulate us? We just had a baby!" The lady said congrats and started showering again when the doorbell rang. She looked out the window. It was a race-car driver. She put on her bathrobe and went out. "Aren't you going to congratulate me? I just won a race!" The lady said congrats and went back inside to finish her shower. Five minutes later the doorbell rang again! It was the blind man. This time the lady didn't put on her bathrobe and opened the door. "Aren't you going to congratulate me?" the blind man said. "I can see again!!!"

Three men were out in the middle of the ocean. One was Chinese, one was American, and one was Spanish. The Chinese man said, "I have too much of these in my country!" as he threw into the ocean bags of rice. The Spanish man said, "I have too much of these in my country!" as he threw down some tamales. The American didn't have anything but said, "I have too much of these in my country!" and he threw down the Spanish man.

Answer 7

There was this guy stranded in the desert and he sees this guy with two camels coming. He asks for one of them and he says "Ok but hes a weird One you have to say 'go' to make him stop and 'raise the lord' to make him go or go faster". So he kept saying 'praise the lord' to make him go faster. Then he saw a cliff ahead and yelled,"STOP, STOP, GO!!!!!!!", and the camel stopped at the edge of the cliff."Praise the Lord"

Answer 8

My friend told me this one and I thought it was pretty funny:

"Your mom isn't where you think she is right now. Nope, she's not at home. She's at the grocery store. Yup. She's having a great time. She's on the counter... with the clerk. Yes, I'm sorry to be the one to say it ________ (insert name), but your mom... (dramatic pause. scroll down)









































is a CHEETO.


Funny, huh?

Answer 9

MY HUSBAND!!!!!!