I'm 26 and haven't seen him in 4 years. We were pretty good friends in high school and had some classes together, but he started dating this girl I confided in him I liked right after I told him, and he rubbed that in my face a lot so towards the end of high school we weren't quite as good friends.
I'm not very social at all and am still living at home and getting licenses to help with my family business. I don't go out with anyone except my family members and a few close friends.
I've never been to a wedding, and don't know if I'm going to know anyone there, what to wear, or what you're supposed to do.. I also don't drink alcohol, which I've heard everyone drinks at weddings.
What exactly would I do if I went there? I went to a cocktail reception a few years ago and I feel very uncomfortable standing around having small talk with strangers. Would it be considered rude to send him a gift and a card instead? I'm afraid of sitting at a table starring at a napkin the whole time
2007-02-27 08:38:35 · 8 answers · asked by Tommy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I just checked the invitation again and its an engagement party, not a wedding. Does that change anything about what I should do?
I also didn't mean to sound like I dislike him or anything. He was was one my best friends throughout high school until probably the last few months because of what he did. I saw him a few times after we graduated, but haven't spoken to him in a while.
2007-02-27 14:00:26 · update #1
It's definitely not rude to send a card and a gift in lieu of attending the wedding/reception. It's most important to a bride and groom that their guests have fun, and if you feel that you won't enjoy yourself, then it's best for all sides if you do what makes you most comfortable. I recently went to a high school friend's wedding, and even though we hadn't seen each other in a few years, she was nice enough to seat me and my date with the bridal party (girls we knew from high school); otherwise, I probably wouldn't have gone, and so I understand where you're coming from.
If you still feel that just sending a card and gift is impersonal, then along with your best wishes for the couple, extend the offer to take them out to lunch after they return from the honeymoon. This way you still get to see them and meet his bride, but without all of the awkward moments of standing around at the reception. This will also show him that you weren't just ditching his invitation to attend and that you appreciated his wanting you to share in such a special occasion. Good luck!
2007-02-27 09:39:41 · answer #1 · answered by Sarah 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't need to attend. A card and gift would be fine instead. For attending a wedding, dress up, nice pantsuit, or dress or skirt/blouse combo. You have an usher seat you for the wedding/bride or groom's side. For you, groom's side. for the reception, you go thru the receiving line (if there is one), get some food, try to watch the cake cutting, etc. and have some cake. As for alcohol, usually they have spiked and non-spiked punch, your choice. Or bring a bottle of water to drink. Again, tho, it is perfectly alrght to just send them a card and gift, especially when you consider how long it has been since you saw him. Take care.
2007-02-27 16:52:39 · answer #2 · answered by SAK 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you feel like you will be a wet blanket then no you shouldnt go dont do anything that will make you as uncomfortable as you say, the man in topic doesnt sound a very good friend i dont think he would do the same for you, if you dont want to be rude send him a card and a gift with well wishes and at least it wont be on your concious i hope this helps and all the best xxxxxxxxx p.s you sound a nice man and its nice to hear you dont drink well done xxxxxxxxxxxx
2007-02-27 16:52:26 · answer #3 · answered by Hayley C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Send a card and a gift and move on. You're not exactly close with him, and if you're uncomfortable in social situations, it wouldn't be enjoyable for you at all. Frankly, he'll be so busy with other guests, he'd only have a few minutes to catch up with you anyway.
2007-02-27 16:50:11 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Force yourself to make new friends and meet people there! It could open up so many more doors for you, and you will probably walk away with a few friends to boot!
2007-02-27 16:49:07 · answer #5 · answered by YinxSphinxmen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i was going to tell you to go & drink, but since you don't do that, you should just sent a gift. it's not rude if you can't make it, people understand other people have lives too.
2007-02-27 16:47:26 · answer #6 · answered by jack spicer 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to go, but I would send a card with your regrets that you can't attend.
2007-02-27 17:58:20 · answer #7 · answered by Dawnita 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no it can never be good
2007-02-27 16:45:23 · answer #8 · answered by SUE T 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋